People often say that the universe doesn’t care for you. You make no difference in its ever-expanding vastness; you are so small; you life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things; your problems are so miniscule compared to the infinite life and death cycle of the universe. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter whether or not the universe cares. It doesn’t matter whether or not your tiny flash of an existence matters in the grand scheme of things. What matters is whether or not you enjoy yourself as you live. People always ask, “What is the meaning of life?” There are so many variations in answers to this question: love, friends, success, 42, family, happiness, survival, to give life a meaning, the list goes on. But the thing I find most interesting about the answers to these questions is that everyone has a different answer. What I have found is that what most people forget to ask is not “What is the meaning of life?” but “What kind of meaning can I give my life?” Your life is exactly that: yours. It doesn’t matter whether you become the most famous artist or writer who ever lived or the most successful business owner or the head of a country or the first person to ever discover a new scientific finding. What matters is whether or not you are passionate about what it is you do. After all, if you “choose a job you love, you will never have to work a day in your life.” But I don’t believe that this advice goes for just your job. You likely will have to have a job you absolutely hate at some point in your life just so you can get by. I believe whole-heartedly that what you do in life should not be confined to one sentence or one paragraph or even one book of advice and information and experiences. Your life should be what you decide it should be. It may take you weeks, months, even years or decades to get where that kind of life lies for you, but isn’t that what makes it worth it in the end? Isn’t the gritty, difficult work part of the process? It isn’t always, but a lot of the times life throws more hurdles at us than we ever could have possibly expected. The problem with life’s unpredicable-ness is that we as humans love to have everything planned out. We have 60 seconds in one minute, 60 minutes in one hour, 24 hours in one day, 7 days in one week, 52 weeks in one year, and so on. Everything has to be planned out. What are we eating tonight for dinner? When do I need to pay my bills or turn in homework? When do I speak to so-and-so? How much do I have to pay for this item? Who am I going to see tomorrow? What should I wear? What will we be doing? Etc. Etc. Etc. So much planning goes into our lives. And make no mistake, I am one of those people who love to make lists and cross items off as I go and have organized drawers in my desk and know what I’ll be doing weeks from now on certain days with certain people and plan out my meals in advance; all of those things and more. I have to constantly remind myself, however, that you can only plan so far in advance. No matter how many awesome outfits you plan in advance, there is always that chance of a rainy day that throws your whole wardrobe off for the week. There is always the chance that even though you’ve planned to be in a certain place four years from now financially or educationally or personally, something changes. You decide to move. You meet someone who changes your life. Something happens. Something always happens. But, and this is where the hard part comes in, you have to have faith. Not necessarily in any set deity or plan, but in the fact that things will turn out okay. Maybe not the way they “were meant to be,” and maybe not always for the best, but have faith that it will turn out alright. That you will be alright. What I’ve learned over the years is that life is a lot like gardening. You can decide where to place the seeds, what kind of seeds will be planted, how much you water them, how much care you give them, and maybe most importantly whether or not you like the types of plants the seeds are supposed to grow to be. But what you cannot control is the weather, how big the plants will grow to be, when the leaves will turn brown or green, when the fruit is ripe or leaves will fall, or whether or not those pesky bugs will decide to try their hand at eating some of your delicious plants. Yes, you can control how much pesticide to put on or around the plants and whether or not it’s an organic or chemical pesticide, but sometimes things happen that you couldn’t have possibly accounted for. A drought may decide to roll in and kill everything off so you have to start anew the next year. A summer of rain may decide to grace your presence, and your plants turn out to be bigger and greener than anyone else’s. But what you have to focus on and appreciate are the things you can control. Congratulate yourself for watering your seeds and helping them grow. Celebrate the fact that you’ve planted the seeds, even if you haven’t watered them yet; or maybe be joyous in the fact that you went out and bought the seeds, even if you’ve yet to plant them. Whatever step you may be at, whether the seeds of ideas have just begun to formulate in your mind, you’ve let your plants grow for several years and they’re beautiful, or you’ve had to start over, even if it’s the ump-teenth time, because something has happened and you had to re-plan and re-plant. Life is a huge mess. Sometimes the only thing we can do is ensure our own mental happiness in the midst of a storm. Find something that you love. Whether it’s something you do, something to watch, someone to talk to, something to write, someone to see, something to listen to, something you wear; anything that you love. Find that thing and hold on so tight that they won’t even be able to rip it out of your hands once you have lived your life. Let yourself find that something you love and let it bring a new meaning and purpose to your life. Make a difference in your own life, even if only for yourself.
