That night with Carmen changed everything. After a few months of dating, I asked her to marry me. She only said yes if I can do whatever's necessary to help her feel comfortable about her changing body during the pregnancy. Which I have by only arranging a courthouse ceremony until after she had the baby, and by doing all possible research on what will keep her in good spirits. This hasn't been hard for me at all. Carmen looks as lovely as ever even with the growing baby bump. In fact with her being due any day now, I'll do whatever I can to make sure her labor goes without a hitch.
"Scott. I need to tell you something."
"Is it time?"
"Yes. It is."
I wait for her to finish.
"I need your big tip to satisfy me."
"Of course honey. I've heard this will get you ready to launch."
She raises an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
I start by massaging her breasts.
"Oxytocin is one of the key hormones behind labor induction. If we can start making some on our own, you won't need to be injected with as much if any at all."
"Mhmm. And you're not just saying that because you want me to lactate."
"Of course not. Nipple stimulation has so far been shown to reduce labor times."
I rub her nipples so they firm up.
"And you're sure about this?"
"Yes. At the very least I can help you feel better."
Carmen moans softly so my hands move lower. Once I find her wetness, I teased her.
"Oh my god."
"I found that clitoris?"
"Yes!"
Carmen arches her back as her body's begging for more. So I oblige by plunging into her with my thumb rubbing her clit. Carmen's moans fill the room, her body writhing in pleasure.
"I bet you're just aching to be inside me instead of just your thumb."
"Yes but you need to be in good form first. I always make sure you're warmed up right?"
But she can't answer me. Carmen's moans grew louder as her body tenses up. She's near her climax. So I work faster and with my thumb start applying more pressure.
"Scott!"
"Orgasm?"
"Yes. Yes."
I smile.
"You know I'm not done yet right?"
"I do."
With a growl, I position myself between her legs and undo my pants.
"Now that's a big tip."
"It's all yours if you want it".
"I do."
I start to shudder with need myself when I use my penis to tease her vulva. Especially her labia. So many nerve endings to stimulate.
"Oh god. I need your big tip."
"Yes dear."
I don't need any more encouragement. After all she's already engorged. So I plunge into her vagina. Just feeling her natural lubrication from her first orgasm is heavenly.
"Now rock."
"Of course dear."
Instead of a typical thrust movement, I angle myself up and down. Carmen's moans once again fill the room, as I could feel my own orgasm building. However, I try to hold myself back since I want to make Carmen cum again.
"Oh god. Oh god."
"Are you about to orgasm again?"
"Yes!"
She does and starts to rub me down so I can orgasm myself. Which I do and refrain from pulling out. After all, semen has prostaglandins which help soften the cervix and-
"Scott."
"Yes dear?"
"My water broke."
I spring into action and pull out.
"What did it feel like?"
"Old Faithful."
I've been to the famous geyser before. I take the time to clean up to rule out my own semen and simple lubrication.
"Right. Your water did break. I'll have Tom get the car."
"You're very calm about this."
"I just had a release of endorphins, prolactin, oxytocin and hopefully not too much GABA."
Carmen rolls her eyes playfully as I help get my wife to the hospital. I'm glad to say her labor indeed went off without a hitch.
"Waaaa. Waaaa."
"Congratulations Mr. Heyward. You have a beautiful baby girl."
Tom and my father practically have to catch me after hearing the news. Carmen never told me what the baby will be even though she knew.
"How. How's my wife?"
"She's in good spirits. In fact she told us about your efforts to coax her along. You've done a splendid job. Now to take this little one to her mother."
I follow him to the room Carmen's in and watch her hold her daughter for the first time.
"I have the perfect name already picked out."
"You do?"
"Mhmm. Josée."
I pause and then realize the joke.
"Oh you."
"I was going to find a way to reference it somehow."
"You have. And she's beautiful. Just like you Carmella."
I think back to when I first met here. Almost a year has passed since then and I've become a changed man. No more doubting myself. I'm Scott Heyward: award winning chemical engineer, patent holder of Goop and now... a father.
An: Thank you all so much for following me during this series and throughout Kinktober. I'm glad to have ended this on a high note.
Anime Song Collection booklet taken from the May 1998 issue of Animedia Magazine. It features characters from Cyberteam in Akihabara, Lost Universe, and Ginga Hyouryuu Vifam 13. Scanned from my personal collection.
The shop room feels different the second he walks in. Sure it's the same tools, same smell of oil and rubber and it has the same table where they all sit. But one chair sits empty.
“Hey Lucky you hear anything about Mike?”
Lucky tries not to startle.
“Nah. Not really. Heard he’s still in the hospital.”
Scott sits down with a notebook open, but doesn't write anything.
“They say he’s stable. That’s all I got.”
Lucky pipes in quickly at the sight of tension.
“He’ll be alright. Mike’s tough.”
Nobody argues with that but nobody agrees either. Deke goes to open his notebook with a picture in it.
“Yeah well when he gets back we oughta show him that carb setup we talked about. He was real interested in that.”
Another pause. Lucky hates it.
"Well would you look at this."
The door creaks open and Vince walks in like he owns the place.
“I'm amazed this car club is still holding meetings even when half of you can’t drive straight.”
No one answers him. Vince smirks and leans against a table.
“So what’s the word? Guy gonna be fine or what?”
Scott closes his notebook.
“He’s in the hospital.”
Vince shrugs.
“Just saying that if people knew how to drive, it wouldn’t be a problem.”
Lucky feels something tighten in his chest. That he should be doing something to defend Mikey. But Deke steps in first.
“It ain’t like that.”
Vince shrugs again.
“Looks like that to me.”
Then his eyes land on Lucky.
“Lucky, right? Must be nice. Pass a driving test one time and get gifted one of the most expensive cars in the world without ever lifting a finger."
Lucky exhales slowly. Normally he’d laugh. Say something easy. Change the subject. But he can't this time.
“This ain’t about me.”
Vince tilts his head.
“Oh it isn't?”
Lucky meets his eyes.
“Mike’s still in the hospital. He could die and there ain't a thing any of us can do about it.”
The room goes quiet again but this time it’s different. The hard truth sets in that at the end of the day an 18 year old boy has been seriously injured. Even Vince can't argue with that.
“Whatever. Y’all can mope if you want.”
Then he’s gone. Nobody talks for a second. Then Steve exhales.
“He’s an ass.”
Everyone agrees in their own way. But Lucky still wants to clear the air about his car.
“Look, about that… car.”
No one interrupts him.
“I didn’t earn that. My dad he. He helped design it so Maserati let him have a prototype.”
No one reacts.
“I just like cars. Same as the rest of you.”
Deke gives a small nod.
“Yeah. We know.”
Steve leans back in his chair.
“Ain’t like you act like a jerk about it."
Scott finally writes something in his notebook.
“Doesn’t change your input on builds either. You still know what you’re talking about.”
Lucky lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“Thanks.”
The room settles. Not back to normal but steadier. Steve taps the table to break the silence.
“So… when Mike gets back, we still gonna do that carb setup?”
Scott nods.
“I’ll bring the specs next meeting.”
Lucky smiles a little.
“Yeah. We’ll save his spot.”
No one argues that either. After the meeting, Lucky ends up outside by the parking lot. Deke walks up beside him, hands still in his pockets. They both look at the Maserati.
“Still a nice car.”
Lucky chuckles.
“Yeah.”
A beat.
“…Your Impala’s still cooler.”
Deke smirks just a little.
“Damn right it is.”
They stand there a second longer, not saying much.
"Can I wash it?"
Lucky looks at Deke.
"Yeah sure, bring the guys over. We can all wash it."
"Alright!"
AN: I tried to include everyone but I'm not sure if my tags went through.
It's night time and my friend Tom comes into my lab.
“Hey Scott. How's it goin?”
“I've been better.”
“Listen you gotta crash soon buddy. You’ve been up too long.”
“I know, I just didn't want to be alone tonight.”
“I know how you feel. C’mon and let’s talk about it.”
I decide it’s best not to argue so I follow Tom to the front room.
“Well I’m ready to hear ya out.”
“It's hard to start because I can't quite define it. Maybe it's just some kind of restlessness, a feeling of needing something more…or maybe it's just a problem that I have with women.”
“Oh I get it. You’re still sore about your marriage with Dianne falling apart.”
“Yeah. I keep thinking how much of a fool she made out of me, but I still think of the beginning, when it was fresh and young. I still can smell that little perfume she used to wear.”
“So why’s that making you hole up in the lab now?”
“I don’t know. I'm not sure if it's Dianne or the restlessness, or just the realization that I've been a fool. I want to do something more than what I'm doing. I don’t know, I just feel like something's missing in my life.”
Tom immediately stands up off the couch.
“What you need is to be thrown out of your comfort zone. Dancing girls as far as the eye can see. The Moulin Rouge.”
“Okay, okay. I guess I could use some fun. Let's go.”
“Great! I’ll get the car. Don’t worry about changing.”
I can’t even argue with him as Tom drives me to a place open all night and looks like an old fashioned saloon.
“This is the place?”
“Just wait till you get inside. Va va voom. In about 5 minutes a swinging little number’s gonna be coming your way. Fiery New York girl who doesn’t mince words. And boy does she like to take charge.”
“How are you so sure? I never exactly had women throwing themselves at me.”
Tom sits down at a table and I sit down on the other side.
“Now don’t get sore with me but I already called ahead of time and booked you with the crown jewel of these ladies.”
“You really wanted me to come here and be with this girl?”
“I always try to give you the best old buddy.”
All I can do is sigh since Tom does mean well. Even before I married Dianne he would try to get me dates with women he met.
“Well I guess I'll take a chance on her then. Maybe if I take your suggestion for once I might get at least a nice conversation.”
“There you go. At least you’re doing something.”
Some guys come up to our table and look right at me.
“Hey Tom who’s this dough boy?”
“That better not of been a crack about my weight.”
One of the guys gets in my face.
“And what if it was.”
I stand up and try to stare them down. Lack of sleep’s really affecting my judgement.
“You better knock it off.”
Things get ugly. Just as I'm about to get punched in the face I hear a commanding woman’s voice.
"Hey! There ain’t gonna be any fighting in this joint."
The guy steps back. Everyone turns to see who’s talking. Tom whispers to me.
"That’s Carmen."
She comes up to the group of guys.
"You oughta mind your own business when it comes to newcomers. If you don’t like it you can leave."
They scurry away.
"We’re sorry ma’am."
She turns to look at us and my heart skips a beat. I think I'm preparing myself to possibly have my heart broken.
"Hey Tom is this your friend Scott? You are new aren’t you."
"Yeah, I've never been here before."
"Well I’ll show you to my room. Follow me."
"Okay."
I get up and follow her. My heart's beating so fast I can barely breathe.
“This is it.”
I take a look into the room as she goes in
"This is uh…not quite what I imagined."
"What? Were you expecting this to look like a seedy motel room?"
"Well…yeah. I mean it's late and it's…you know."
"Listen. Just because I get paid for favors doesn’t mean I don’t have standards."
I feel slightly embarrassed about my faux pas.
"Oh no, no, of course not. I didn’t mean to imply that. I wasn't expecting your room to be this elegant as I didn't think you ladies lived here."
"Good now get on the bed."
"Okay."
I do as she says since I'm in enough trouble. As soon as I lay down on the bed I feel the fatigue hit me.
"Hey Scott."
"Yeah?"
She sits down in a chair and starts smoking a cigarette.
"You want a smoke?"
A part of me kind of wants to say yes. But only a small part so I push it down.
"No thank you. I don’t smoke. Or drink."
"Boy are you different."
I wince inside. This isn't looking good at all. I'm so out of my comfort zone I don't even know what she's going to do to me.
"This probably sounds like a dumb question, but…what're we doing in here?"
"Tom paid me to be with you for an hour. You can do anything you want with me."
There's something about paying a woman to do "favors" that doesn't sit well with me. I know Tom wants to help but I'm just not that type of guy.
"I'm not sure I want anything. I really just wanted to come here and have some fun and get out of a rut I'm in. Tom was telling me getting away from my comfort zone would do me some good. He wanted me to meet you because he said you'd be good for me."
"And he’s right. When patrons feel stuck in their sex life they come to me because I help them figure out what they want."
"Oh. What exactly do you think I'd want then?"
Carmen looks at me long enough to make me feel a panic attack coming on.
"First off why do you look like a drowned rat who hasn’t had so much as straw to sleep in and a piece of cheese to eat? I'm amazed Tom would bring you here when everyone can see the bags under your eyes. What do you have insomnia or something?"
At first I feel hurt because I took it as an insult. Then I start to understand that Carmen's saying this out of concern. I'm a little touched by that.
"Uh, I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I've been in a pretty deep depression. I don’t think being called a dough boy helped things."
"I heard that. It hurt you that much?"
Maybe it's because I'm just exhausted but I feel myself opening up to her and tell her things I haven't told any woman.
"Well I’ve already got low self-esteem about my weight as it is. And it seems like my money is more popular than I am being Duster Heyward's son who just sits in a lab all day. Outside of that I’m just…. fat. And unattractive."
"And says who?"
"Everyone. No one’s found me attractive. Not even the girls I’ve dated. Oh sure they never outright said I was fat and unattractive but they weren't exactly affectionate with me either. I’ve only been in one serious relationship to the point of marriage, but she just wanted my money. She didn't seem to care about me when I worked one too many nights in the lab or when I felt discouraged about a project. Even when I would take a break and try to give her all of my affection I just. Never got the same amount of that affection back. We ended up getting a divorce and she quickly went onto someone more fit. And not as ugly."
I can't help but feel myself spiral. I cover my face because of how overwhelmed I am.
"Hey. Let me speak for myself before you lump me in with everyone."
I take a deep breath and look at Carmen.
"Okay, sorry. Go ahead."
"Good. Undo your shirt."
At first I just look at her since I’m nervous about this but I do as she says. I just don't think this will end well.
“Okay. I’m ready.”
Carmen gets out of her chair and puts out her cigarette. The way she's looking at me makes me think I'm going to be in for a horrible time.
“Now hold still.”
I close my eyes so I don't see what she does when I feel her hand on my stomach. I wasn't expecting that since it's quite gentle. Her touch sends slight tingles through my body.
"Jeez are you constipated or stressed? Your stomach feels hard as a rock."
I have to laugh a little at that because it's true.
"I guess I’m both. I do tend to tense up when I feel stressed."
I try my best to relax as she rubs my stomach. It surprisingly isn't as hard as I thought it'd be since this is starting to feel nice.
"See you ain’t as bad as you think you are."
I open my eyes after not realizing I closed them.
"Yeah? You don’t think I look too fat?"
“Nah. Your stomach’s soft but it doesn’t droop over your belt.”
I let out a sigh of relief.
"So what’s your request?"
"Okay. I need a nap and well.. can I…lay my head on your lap? I’d like…. My head rubbed."
"Yeah. It ain’t a big deal."
"Oh okay."
I sit up and move a little closer to Carmen so that I can lay my head on her lap. I wasn't expecting her to say yes that quickly. I guess she's used to having weird requests like this.
"How long do you wanna nap?"
"I’ll say 30 minutes should be fine."
"Alright I’ll set a timer."
I watch her set a timer and feel her rubbing my head. It's the type of head rub that makes me realize just how stressed I really was. But now it's all just... floating away.
Time Skip
"Ok time's up.
I hear the timer go off and slowly open my eyes. That nap definitely helped me feel better. I almost don't even want to get off her lap because of how nice this was.
"Mmmm…"
"How was that?"
I decide it's best to sit up and look at her as I stretch.
"A lot better than a regular pillow. I’m not even kidding."
"I can tell. All you need is some cheese and you'd be a happy rat."
Maybe it's the way she says it but I can't help but chuckle. It never comes off as her putting me down but as a way to help me not feel so bad about myself. There's something about her that makes just want to take a chance in asking this.
"There is another thing I would like to do."
"Oh yeah?"
"Okay… I’d like to uh… go on a date. When you’re not you know doing all this."
"Alright I’m free from noon to 4."
"Oh. You really mean that?"
"I don't say anything unless I mean it. But just so you know I don't do any off the clock favors."
I can't help but blush from that. It does feel nice that even though she works like this, she still has standards where there's no pressure to "perform" with her.
"Oh, okay, okay. You won’t need to worry about that. I just don’t… really do that right away."
"Ok."
I'm still amazed that I really just asked a woman I just met out on a proper date. This is new and different for me that I'm a little worried about being too desperate.
"So, does that mean you’ll go out with me?"
"Sure where do you plan on going?"
“Well uh. You like Italian food?”
“Honey I am Italian. That would be perfect.”
This is turning out better than I thought. Carmen might actually be interested in talking with me outside of just her job.
"Great. What time do you want me to pick you up?"
"12:15 on Thursday."
"Okay 12:15. You know, I wasn’t expecting you to say yes to this."
"I wasn't expecting to have a patron wanting more than my typical favors so we're even."
She looks up at the clock.
"You should probably fix yourself up since it's close to an hour."
"Oh. Yeah."
I get off the bed and button my shirt up again. Maybe she has a special type of mirror but when I start to fix up my hair I could swear I actually look better.
"Thank you for letting me nap. I can’t wait to see you again on Thursday."
"I’m glad you had a good time."
"It was better than I was expecting. I guess I’ll be going now. I’ll see you Thursday. Have a good rest of your night."
"You too."
I wave as I leave her room. Tom must have had a good time too because he comes up to me with a smile on his face.
"What did I tell you Scott. You look great. Carmen fixed you right up."
"Yeah. You were right. She did fix me right up. I do feel pretty good actually. We’re going on a date Thursday."
We start going outside to the car.
"A date? Now that’s something to write home about."
"I know. I never thought she would agree to it in a million years. Plus it’s a real date. We’re going out for Italian."
“Excellent choice. You learn a lot about a woman just by where they agree to go on a date. Italian can mean anything and doesn't always require a checkbook.”
I realize he's right. Carmen could've suggested a more expensive place but she didn't. She's actually very easygoing and didn't make me feel like I needed to do anything to impress her.
"That's true. I didn't want to make it too fancy but I still want to take her somewhere nice."
"Well you're spoiled for choice with Italian places."
Tom gets in the car.
"Now let’s go home and get some sleep. 1 am just ain’t like it used to be."
"Yeah. A good nap on that nice cushion of hers really did me good but I'm still a little tired."
"Cushion? You don't mean her-"
I start to blush as I buckle my seatbelt. Of course Tom would think that since I did make it sound a little dirty.
"No, no I would never do that. Trust me. I meant her lap."
Tom laughs as he starts driving me home. I feel like I should explain what happened.
"I really opened to her about myself. She told me to unbutton my shirt because I said I wasn’t attractive and that everyone felt I was fat. I never had my stomach rubbed like that before."
"Not even with Dianne?"
"Oh. No. Dianne never really touched my stomach. Not like how Carmen touched it. You know. She probably did it because I was her patron."
Tom shakes his head.
"Nah those stomach rubs were real, pal."
"How do you know that?"
"There are many women that work there. My personal favorite’s Lady Marmalade. She told me a lot about how they operate. These women can tell what a newbie likes just by who they book."
"What? Seriously?"
"Oh yeah. Carmen’s bread and butter are men who can’t get it up. Psychology is a big part of the process. You over think things involving romance. That’s another thing they pick up on. Her bluntness eliminates that problem since she'd never do anything she didn't feel comfortable doing."
I admit that Tom's experience with these women is very useful.
"Yeah, she definitely is blunt. That I could tell. But that’ll mean she’ll tell me about my chances of a second date by the time we get the check right?"
"Definitely."
I start to feel a tad more confident about the date now that I talk through this.
"Well, if you’re right, at least I’ll know where I stand by the end of the date."
“You will.”
Once we get home we try to walk inside without waking up my Pa.
"Night, Tom."
"Night buddy."
As soon I get inside my room something just feels off. Or at least off compared to the dark hole I've been in.
“Is this hope? I think I feel good.”
I sit down on my bed then look at my reflection in the mirror. I notice that I no longer look as nervous, scared, or stressed out. I think back at the recent memory of lying on Carmen’s lap and her rubbing my stomach and then my head. It was the right decision to go.
“Now if only this date can be as good.”
I change into my pajamas then lay my head down on the pillows. I've been so restless for so long but now I'm actually looking forward to something in the near future. I can finally sleep peacefully now.
Most known in the Elvis community for his role as Tom Wilson from Clambake, Will Hutchins sadly passed yesterday at the age of 94.
For a side character, I thought he really nailed that role of being Scott Heyward's friend. Even when he wouldn't gain anything by helping Scott with his goop, Tom still did. I actually believed they were friends beyond that movie with how well they interact.
This interview says it all about the fun they had doing Clambake. If only was in more Elvis films so Elvis could have his own Tom Wilson.
After a couple days, I make the bold move of calling the Moulin Rogue. I arrive there feeling motivated to show Carmen a side of me that I never shown in a long time. Madam Red is there to greet me.
"Do you want a drink, Mr. Heyward?"
"Um. You do serve. Table wine, right?"
"Of course. We have Pinot noir that goes for at 12%."
I sigh.
"ABV?"
"Yes."
"Alright. I'll have two glasses then."
She pours the wine.
"You can pay for the wine on your way out."
"Thanks."
I take the time to carefully walk over to Carmen's room. Since I have a glass in each hand, I gently kick the door.
"It's open."
"I can't get the door Carmen. I have a wine glass in each hand."
She opens the door for me.
"Wine glasses? You must be dying inside."
I chuckle.
"Well I figured how to go about this properly. That's why before we start I'd like to share some table wine."
"Ah table wine. Might as well be sangria for you. A little nip of courage."
"Right. So you can understand why we should have a toast."
"Ok."
I hand her a glass.
"Here's to what our night will bring."
We clink and take a sip. It's not bad at all. I look around her room and start feeling sentimental.
"If only you had a fireplace."
"Why?"
"It would give the room a little glow. You know like a romantic atmosphere."
"You've been watching too many Hallmark movies."
I chuckle.
"Is it wrong to be romantic?"
"No but a burlesque house isn't exactly the place to go for romance."
I take a sip of wine and feel myself loosen up.
"You're probably wondering why I reserved a session with you."
"Obviously this is your way to have a second date knowing I can't say no."
I can't help but feel hurt a little.
"This wasn't trying to be a trick or underhanded. I was trying to work with your hours. I realized that what I wanted was to have a traditional evening date."
"Fine."
We sit in silence for a few minutes. I continue sipping my wine when I turn to look at Carmen.
"You know. You do look lovely in that dress."
A beat.
"Thank you."
"I can see a dress like that on a dance floor."
"I'm a show girl."
I take a sip and set my glass down.
"No. I don't mean a floor of a burlesque house. I mean a real high class place. The dance floors of the Palladium come to mind."
"That's been out of business for a long time."
I nod.
"It's a shame too. Such a beautiful place."
There's an awkward silence when I get an idea.
"Say. Would you like to dance?"
"Oh your ballroom fantasy."
I hold out my hand and can't help but smile when she takes it.
"So how exactly does your fantasy go if this is meant to be a ballroom?"
"Oh I'm thinking something that suits you very well."
I start to hum what I have in mind as we dance.
"The Habanera. How original."
I chuckle.
"I know but that's why I said it was fitting. I'm picturing a scene out of a Spanish opera."
"Ah so that's why we're doing some type of tango/flamenco dance."
I twirl her around.
"You are wearing the dress for it."
I set her down on the bed and sit down.
"Whew. I shouldn't be out of breath like this."
"It was certainly different, I'll say that."
I smile at her as I start to calm down.
"I knew we could find some romance in a place like this. But it's not like dancing is all what it takes to be romantic."
"Oh really? And what's your idea of the next step?"
There's a part of me that understands this is Carmen's way of inviting me to do more. So I carefully take the time to remove her corset.
"The next step is to have your partner feel comfortable. You shouldn't have to wear something like this."
"You make it sound like I'm a victim."
"You're not."
I gently brush my fingers against her cheek.
"I just want to give you what you deserve."
She chuckles.
"After what I've been through it's hard to say what I deserve anymore."
I take her face in my hands.
"You deserve tenderness, respect and kindness. You deserve to be treated by a man like he worships you."
I make the bold move of kissing her gently.
"Let me make you feel like that. Not just tonight but every night."
I look at her eyes. Knowing science, I can see that her pupils are dilated and her cheeks are slightly flushed. I take her hand and kiss her knuckles.
"I'm well read on chemical reactions you know."
She huffs.
"How does that relate to this?"
"Your pupils are dilated and you have a flush to your cheeks."
"And?"
I keep kissing her hand.
"You like the way I touch you. The way I kiss you. And you want more of it."
"I-"
I put a finger to Carmen's lips.
"Shhh. Just feel. Let yourself feel."
I lay her down on the bed and carefully get closer to her. I love Carmen as tenderly as possible. At least until the timer goes off.
"Thank you for coming tonight."
I look at her and then back away.
"No. Thank you for giving me a chance to spend time with you."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you come again soon."
I smile softly as I straighten up. A part of me knows that I shouldn't come back here. This was just nothing more than a business transaction.
"I'll be going now."
"Well stay safe driving home. That whole glass of wine might as well be 10 shots."
I chuckle.
"Thank you. I will."
I grab the two wine glasses and pay my tab with Madam Red. Once I get home, I go straight to the tub. After everything that happened I need to reflect so I ring for Tom to come up. I can tell things are going to be different once he checks my bath water.
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Warm water. You mean things went that poorly?"
I lean my head against the wall of the tub.
"I'm an idiot Tom."
"What happened? Were you that bad?"
"We didn't get that far. I never touched..."
I couldn't finish that sentence. It feels wrong to say such things when Carmen's not here. Still...
"If you didn't get that far, you know she's not going to judge you for liking it too much."
"I loved it. God help me, I loved it."
There it is. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I feel embarrassed over how much I loved it.
"Hey that's great buddy. You were having a good time with her. That's a sign of progress if you as me."
"But did she have a good time with me? It's her job to make men feel good about their abilities. I don't want to feel this way only for her to be faking this whole time, Tom."
"The best way to know is to ask. Carmen ain't one to mince words. If you ask her if she liked it, she'll tell you."
I sigh and close my eyes.
"You're right. I shouldn't do this right away should I?"
"Oh no no no. Doing it right away only makes it worse. You'd be proving that you're desperate. Trust me buddy, you oughta give it a couple days."
"Thanks Tom. Now get on outta here so I can change."
He laughs and leaves the bathroom. I have a lot of thinking to do.
