#scout shultz

[officialflowergirl]

tell me if you donate or if someone you knows donates so we can mark their NAME or else it won’t go to cat specifically

[escritora11]

What Scout Schultz’s death teaches us about advocacy and trauma within the bi community

"We don't give ourselves any time to heal."

Within a few days, I got bounced between two experiences of queerness. Over the weekend, I spent time with queer women who live out loud and don’t apologize for it. I meet them at a Roller Derby match, and yes, it was gayer than Ellen page in Whip It.

On skates they all seemed invisible: grooving to music before the match, game planning between jams. It was beautiful and sexy and…regular. Just a regular Saturday. No one was trying to look a certain way and please some unacknowledged, invisible force that might dictate their acceptance. They just were. it was a glimpse of the world I want to live in, where self-care isn’t a labor but an everyday joy.

A day later, I saw the news about Scout, a non-binary bisexual organizer who was shot because of how their mental health crisis was misread and judged to be threatening. Scout was someone who spoke out for us, who felt compelled to fight for the magic of Derby to exist and flourish. They continued fighting even though they were broken down by the same invisible forces that keep Derby from being the rest of the world. I wish life would have been better to them. I wish they could have felt like it was safe enough to prioritize their own healing. I wish the small pockets of queer joy we carve out for ourselves got to go on and on, instead of being interrupted by some echo of violence.

I want to keep fighting for a world that feels more like Derby on a Saturday. I’m still figuring out how to do that in a way that doesn’t comprise my heath, or leave me vulnerable to the kind of mental health struggles that bi people face. But if queer folks have taught me anything, it’s that joy--built on unbridled expression and liveliness-- is worth fighting for.