#screamandrun

[dkgrindrfail]

Him: “I know I’m too old, but I just wanna test the meter measurement of Romeo app, can you confirm 500 m..” And here I’m like, my comfort zone with this fat fuck just got expanded by 500 m..

[petsqui]

This is exactly what I panic about when I feel something with my foot at the beach #screamandrun 😱😱😱 . From @naturee ・・・ Cute or Scary❓🦀🦀🦀 #petsqui

[thewhynotpolicy]

Just Another Manic Monday

So today was pretty funny. I had some funnies. Let's start with this morning. 

So I decided that I would really kick start my week in the right way. What does that mean??

5:30 am running!!! 

Ya. I don't know why either. Proooobably because that's the only time I have to run. I'll take it though!

I usually run around a giant block. It's not very long, but in my outofshapeness, it's a great little run. 

I booked it around the second corner this morning, when off in the distance I see two lights bobbing up and down. Then I hear voices....

Great. Morning runners. Ugh. I didn't know what to do...because it was pitch black and I don't like running with a flashlight..I figured I would just slide past them without them ever knowing. 

Brilliant!

What I didn't account for was the labored breathing and heavy footsteps I happened to be creating as I tried to ninja past them. 

*Cue screaming*

*And further screaming*

*And still screaming*

They were all older women for goodness sake! I'm not that scary.

In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "Oh bother." Sorry, lady! Next time I'll just hide in the bushes...And then JUMP out. Ha!

As for this afternoon. I'm still laughing about it! 

So, there am I, in the kitchen of the institute building, enjoying a nice bowl of Life cereal. (It's about time I got to enjoy some of that stuff! Dad would always hide it from us when we were little...). 

That's when I got a text.

Woot woot! I'm popular. There's something about having that little message symbol pop up :) 

"Where you at?"

"Where do you think? The kitchen of course!" (I literally live there)

This is where you're going to need some back story. In short, I ate some wrong food over the weekend that still wanted to be my friend. After I had sent off my reply, the toilet was needed urgently. So I booked it to the bathroom. 

An appropriate amount of time later, I emerged from the bathroom. My eyes fell to quite the scene. 

There is the friend that sent the text. 

Almost peeking into the kitchen.

With a empty plastic bowl raised above his head in a I'm-getting-read-to-throw-this-at-my-friend-who-I-think-is-in-the-kitchen kind of sort of way. 

Then his face. 

It screamed, "YOU CAUGHT ME! CONFUSED! WAIT....what??"

That's when I began to bust up. I wish you could have been there. I'm sure he would love to reenact it. 

Who said Mondays were boring?