your short story is AMAZING! it's beautifully written and just really captivating, it's evident how hard you worked on it. my only real criticism is that there are a few spots where your wording is awkward or where you use passive tense, and it breaks the flow a little bit. that's really only a minor thing though, and i mostly noticed in in definitions four and five. overall, it's wonderful, i especially like how it's formatted and the characterizations
thank you so much!!!! and thank you for reading it!
and yeahhh those parts are the ones I finished up close to 5 am - so they’ll be edited a lot tomorrow









