#scribe things lol

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Today at work the doctor asked a kid what he had for lunch and the kid said like, chicken nuggets or something idr

And so the doctor holds up his stethoscope and goes “okay I’m gonna listen to your tummy and see if I can hear those chicken nuggets in there! Do you think I can hear the chicken nuggets?”

And the kid suddenly looks terrified and goes “no! No! I don’t want you to listen to the chicken nuggets!!!”

And he only calmed down when the doctor said “it’s okay, I was just kidding, I can’t hear what you ate, I just have to listen to make sure everything is okay in your tummy” and then the kid was immediately like oh okay and he laid down very calmly

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Doctor said to the kid “do you have cats and dogs in your ears?” just to get the kid to let him look, kid says “no, rock” and the doctor says “what?” Kid says “rock in my ears” and the doctor kind of laughed but then

Well

Kid had a rock in his ear

I cannot stress enough how completely unrelated this was to the chief complaint. Parents had no idea he had a rock in there.

Chief complaint: ankle injury

Diagnosis: ear foreign body

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Charting “Pt verbalized understanding” except it’s the 17-year-old patient sucking his teeth and saying “bruhhhh whatever” and pulling his hood up

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Also goddamn we had a pair of siblings in the ED last night with honestly the most unfortunate last names I have ever heard in my LIFE

and truly HIPAA is such a burden to me because what do you MEAN I can’t talk about funny name?? I LOVE to talk about funny name!!!!!!

Alas.

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I was supposed to do one more training shift tonight but the guy who’s been training me showed up for like five minutes and then went home because he felt like he was getting sick, so it was like, surprise, first solo shift

The provider moved and talked so gd fast and couldn’t stand to sit still for more than like 12 seconds, and I found that kind of overwhelming, but I think it went very well mostly

At one point she asked if I needed a break and I said I was fine, and she said “actually, you go take a real break. I don’t take breaks because I’m neurotic, but you should”

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Doctor, dictating to me: “negative battle sign”

Patient, 4 years old, recently crying: YA I HAD BEEN IN A BATTLE. I BATTLED IT *big breath* AND I GOT A- A OWIE FROM ON *big sniffle* IN THE ZOO”

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I think there was a Gen Z nurse on triage tonight because notes included “HFM vibes” and “rx zof plsssss thx”