KR:DAILY // TEENAGER MOOD BOARD
November 2014 — Kim Hanbin at 18 years old.
The room was filled with tension. It was cold and dark and it all radiated from him. His team, these six innocent boys, were collateral damage. Scattered within the main areas of their dorm they didn’t dare to speak a word in his direction. They knew he needed time, he needed to be alone and although they knew he was emotionally tough the look of pity in their eyes when they looked at him was evident.
The past three years he’d been working his ass off to get here. His blood, sweat and tears poured into every practice. His passion, his drive...neither went unnoticed nor unrewarded. Yet here he was...tired, beaten, and lost.
Kim Hanbin sat alone in his room, forehead pressed into the sweaty palms of his hands hoping to relieve the headache pounding at his temples. There were too many thoughts inside his head. Shouldn’t he be able to rest now? iKON has been set. The cruel competition was over and he now has his six brothers ready to taste their debut. It’s so close.
But every time he tries to remove the pressure from his shoulders it finds it’s way back on top of him.
“Hanbin-ah...” He could hear his Mother’s shaking voice through the phone as if the conversation was happening all over again. “...your Father is in a little trouble right now.”
That was it; that reminder, that memory. That’s all it took for those tears to fall. There was no stopping them this time. No matter how strong of a wall he built, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t conceal the frustration anymore.
When would it be his turn to be happy? When was he able to rest? Everything he did was for his team, for his family...and for his pride. He loved what he did. He’d do it all again. But why did it have to be so painful? Why did it have to take so much out of him? Those teenage years were swept from him. He couldn’t be just any regular 18 year old. He couldn’t even be a normal 15 year old. 13? Even then he needed to grow up faster than most. His life was dedicated to this industry, to his label, to his team. Nights were spent locked up in a practice room or a studio, striving for perfection. Thousands of papers covered in ink kept him from sleeping in his own bed. His mind, his body and his heart were consumed with training.
No one could see him like this. He wouldn’t let that happen. He needed to be strong, that’s who he is.
Even the strongest hearts with the strongest walls will break. It’s the moment they pick themselves up and build is what matters the most.