The Blocks are all sitting in Chris's living room. Chris and Joey are next to each other on the couch, and Ashleigh is on the arm of the couch on Chris's side. Nate is lying down on the floor in front of the couch with his knees up and his arms cushioning his head. They're hanging out and the TV is on with the volume on low.
Chris: So who's staying the night?
Nate: I figure I will, since I live here.
Chris: (rolls his eyes) Joey?
Joey: Nah, I better check in tonight. The older I get, the more my mom seems to worry.
Chris: Fair. (looking at Ashleigh) Babe?
Ashleigh: (shrugging) I've been here the past three days. As much as I love this place...
Nate: Not living up to the mansion?
Ashleigh: (wounded) I didn't say that.
Nate: (lighting a cigarette and taking a drag) It's true though.
Ashleigh: (crossly) Is not. (pointedly) And isn't this a smoke-free building?
Chris: Yeah. (raising his eyebrow at Nate) It is.
Nate: (shrugging, taking another drag) I'm a drug addict.
Chris: Is that your excuse for everything now?
Joey: You have to admit, it's a pretty good one.
Nate: (still smoking, nods at Joey) See? And it's true. I need a vice. (looks at Chris) Wouldn't you rather be breathing in my secondhand smoke than burying my coke-laced body?
Chris: (drily) I'd have to think it over.
Joey: (protesting) Alright, well, if you get to smoke inside, I should be able to, too.
Nate: (raising his hand, brandishing the cigarette) Drug addict.
Ashleigh: (face palming) Oh, Jesus Christ.
Nate: Depression doesn't count.
Nate: You should be...cleansing yourself. And going on a self-fulfilling journey.
Joey: What? That doesn't... (he's quiet for a moment) Shouldn't you be doing that too?
Nate: (opens his mouth, but has nothing to say that. He waves the question away with his hand)
Chris: (quietly) I'm an orphan.
Joey, Ashleigh, and Nate all look at him. It's quiet.
Nate: (matter-of-fact) Yeah, but you don't smoke.
Joey: (pouty, muttering) I still think I deserve one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later on. Nate is sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. Everybody else is in the same position
Ashleigh gets up to go to the bathroom She puts her phone on the floor. When the door closes, Nate picks it up.
Nate: Man, I miss having one of these. (Chris and Joey look at him. Nate starts to play Angry Birds) I love angry birds. I would get angry birds tattooed on my body.
Nate: I'm just kidding, that's stupid.
Chris: (pointedly) Could you put down Ashleigh's phone?
Nate: (sighs and begins to put the phone down. It vibrates, he stops and reads it: "Heyyy, are you still gonna bring your friends tomorrow night? ;)") Wait...
Ashleigh comes back. She grabs her phone.
Ashleigh: Nate, what are you doing?
Nate: (stands up and looks at all of them) Are you guys going to a party tomorrow?
Ashleigh: (looks annoyed and tries to answer hurriedly) No. Why were you on my phone?
Nate: (voice raising) Why are you lying to me?
Nate: I KNOW it's a party.
Ashleigh: Fine, it' a party. But you're not going.
Ashleigh: Uh, do you not see the difference?
Joey: (cutting in, logically) I don't think that's a good idea, Nate.
Nate looks at Chris. Chris says nothing.
Ashleigh: (steps toward him. Her voice is softer.) Nate...
Nate: (quietly, pleadingly) Please?
Joey: What good will it do?
Nate shrugs and looks at his feet.
Ashleigh: (her voice has lost it's edge) Nate, it's not that we don't want you there. We're just trying to help.
Ashleigh: You've been doing so well.
Nate: (nodding) Yeah! I have been! I've been sober for months.
Ashleigh: So why self-sabotage?
Nate: (determinedly) You guys, I can do this. Really.
Joey: What would you even do?
Nate: (shrugs) Hang out with my friends.
Ashleigh: Nate... (gently) Your friends are all here.
Nate is silent. He walks back over to the couch and lies down.
Nate: (dramatically) Fine. You guys go! Tomorrow I'll just sit here. Alone. By myself. All night. (he glances at them) Gosh, I wonder what I could do on a Saturday night...when all my friends abandon me...I wonder what...trouble I could find... (he looks at them hopefully)
Chris, Joey, and Ashleigh all look at each other.
Chris: (looks at him) You can come. (Nate grins and lights another cigarette) But from now on, you're smoking outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning. Nate is asleep on the couch. Chris is making breakfast. Nate wakes up, yawns, gets up, and puts a shirt on. He walks over to the kitchen.
Chris: (facing the stove, turns his head toward him) Bacon?
They sit down with bacon and toast. There's an amicable silence.
Chris: I've been thinking.
Nate: (eating) That's a first.
Chris: (gives him a look) About the party. (pause) I think you can handle it.
Nate: (looks at him in surprise) You do?
Chris: (slowly) I want to drink at this party.
Chris: And Joey will probably be smoking--
Nate: (nostalgically) Ahh, pot. What a simpler time.
Chris: (continues) --and Ashleigh...(shrugs) I'm not sure if she will or not.
Nate: (trying to sound confident) I'll be okay.
Chris: But if you're not. (they look at each other) I'll get you home. I promise. I think you're really brave to be going.
Nate: (remembering what Ashleigh said) You don't think it's self-sabotage?
Chris: (sighs heavily) Nate, I know you. If you want a party, you'll find one. It can either be a party with us, or a blow out you find on your own. I think we both know that in that situation, you might lose control.
Chris: Don't. Do you think everybody could do what you've done and still be here? So willing to get better? I see you trying, Nate...you've come a long way.
Nate: (defeated) I'm trying so hard....
Chris: So let us help. We want to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris, Joey, Nate, and Ashleigh are on their way to the party. Chris is driving, and Ashleigh is in the passenger seat. Joey and Nate are in the back.
Nate: How come Ashleigh always gets shotgun?
Ashleigh: (looking back) Because I sleep with him.
Nate: (grumpily) I could do that.
Chris: (eyes not leaving the road) Please don't.
Joey: (looking at Nate) You okay?
Ashleigh: (sarcastically) Yeah, the car ride, that's the difficult part.
Ashleigh: (hotly) I still think this is a bad idea.
Chris: Nate and I have discussed it.
Ashleigh: Alright, fine. (turns and looks at Nate) Consider yourself warned. (Nate raises his hands in defeat)
Joey: (thoughtfully) You know, to this day I can't figure out how you two, of all people, ended up living together.
Chris: Trust me, neither can I. (pulls up to the party. Everybody looks at Nate.)
Nate: Guys, please stop doing that.
Ashleigh: Are you sure you can do this?
Joey: Do you really think--
Chris: You guys, leave him alone.
Ashleigh sighs. Everybody gets out of the car. Chris and Joey walk ahead. Ashleigh walks over to Nate.
Nate: (resignedly) Ashleigh.
Ashleigh: I don't see this ending well.
Nate: I'm okay. (starts walking away)
Ashleigh: Nate! (grabs his arm. He turns and looks at her hand on his arm, and raises his eyebrows. She immediately lets go as if she has been burned. She's frustrated) Just...I don't want anything to happen to you.
Nate: Something did happen to me, Ashleigh. Lots of things, in fact. But I can do this.
Ashleigh: (coldly) Just like every other time? (Nate starts to walk away; she follows) I was there, Nate! Every single time. A coma couldn't stop you. It didn't even slow you down.
Nate: This time is different.
Nate: This time I want to stop. (forcefully walks away, leaving Ashleigh standing outside, alone)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joey is smoking weed. Chris has a beer. He's fidgeting a lot.
Chris: (looking agitated) Where are Nate and Ashleigh...
Joey: (in a calming voice) Chris.
Chris: (relents) I know...I know. (takes a gulp of beer)
Chris: But...ugh. (drinks some more)
Joey: (blows smoke rings) Do you want me to go look for them?
Chris: Why can't I go look myself? (Joey gives him a look.) Okay, okay. (Joey walks away, blunt still in hand, leaving Chris look agitated.)
Joey goes outside. He sees Ashleigh sitting alone on the porch swing.
Joey: (to himself) Deja vu. (he walks over to Ashleigh and sits) Hi.
Ashleigh: Hey. (Joey hands her the blunt and she takes it.)
Joey: (jokingly) Need me to show you how?
Ashleigh: (laughs) Oh, wow. It's been awhile.
Joey: (smiles) Yeah. (Ashleigh smokes and then passes it back to him. They sit quietly for a minute)
Ashleigh: (quietly) I kissed him back, Joey.
Joey: (nodding) I figured you did.
Ashleigh: (looks at him in surprise) Really?
Joey: Yeah. (shrugs) Nate's hot. (she laughs, he looks at her) But I also know you stopped it.
Ashleigh: (close to tears) It was only for a second.
Joey: Hey, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I know.
Ashleigh: I feel like I can't come back from it.
Joey: Ashleigh, it's been a year. We're all...friends(?)...again. We'll get through this. We always do. It's not the worst mistake you'll make in your life. People make mistakes and they're still good people.(Ashleigh looks near the car where she and Nate fought. She's thinking hard.) It's not the end of the world.
Ashleigh: (in a small voice) Do you think...he has...feelings for me?
Joey: (pauses and smokes. Thoughtfully) I think you're a what if. And I think he's the same to you. And I'm a what was (he smiles sadly at her) And Chris...Chris is a what is.
Ashleigh: (takes his words to heart) Thanks, Joey. (They sit for a minute. Then she leans back on the swing and moans) Ugh, I can't believe I've kissed all three of you.
Joey: It is kind of whorish of you. (She smacks him playfully before resting her head on his shoulder)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris is still waiting for Joey. Nate runs in and sees him. He stops.
Nate: Hi. (he looks at the beer in Chris's hand)
Nate: I'm okay. (clenches his fists) I'm okay. Chris...do you think maybe I could...pace myself?
Nate: (walks over to a table with a bunch of beers on it. Chris follows him) Like...just take this one beer...(he picks one up.) And just...drink one? For the whole night?
Nate: Yeah. It's what normal people do. They have one, or a few... they pace themselves.
Chris: Do you think you can do that? Some people can. Some people can't.
Nate: I...yeah. I think I can.
Chris: (watches him open the beer) I don't know, Nate.
Nate: Normal people do it all the time. (he lifts it)
Chris: Yeah, but you're not normal.
Nate: (earnestly) But I want to be. I've been sober for months. Why can't I start to be normal? (he is hesitant, but he takes a small drink)
Chris: What do you think?
Nate: I'm okay. (he sits on the couch)
Dean Gomez and the Mexican cartel crew are across the room from Nate and Chris.
Druggie 1: (looks over at them, interested) Hey, isn't that Nate Ryan?
Dean Gomez: Oh, yeah. Shit, I guess he's back on the scene.
Druggie 2: Didn't he go to rehab?
Druggie 1: (laughs) It never does.
Dean: Shit yeah, I made double off him last time we talked.
Druggie 2: You're shittin' me, man.
Dean: Nah, he's desperate.
Druggie 1: Shit, let's make some money.
Dean: Guys, this is my sale.
Druggie 2: Fuck you, dawg.
Dean walks over and sits on the couch next to Nate. Chris doesn't notice at first because he is opening a new beer.
Dean: Hey, man. (flashes some white. Nate eyes him hungrily) You trying to dance with the white lady?
Chris: Dean. Really? Again?
Dean: (jumps up) Chris! (pockets coke immediately. Nate's eyes follow it) I didn't see you.
Chris: Right. Well, nice to see you. Bye.
Dean: Uh, yeah, bye. (looks at Nate) You know, you can call me anytime.
Chris: Goodbye, Dean. (pushes him towards the door, druggie friends pass in front of Nate and follow Chris and Dean. Dean waves the back at Nate over Chris's shoulder)
Nate leans back on the couch. He breathes in deeply. He looks at all the beer on the table near him. He sees people laughing and drinking and smoking. His vision starts to blur. He flashes back to the time in his bedroom, drinking and snorting lines. He can't breathe normally. He flashes back to parties where he's passed out, or threw up. He flashes back to his father saying "Like father, like son." He remembers downing shot after shot after shot. He's beginning to have a panic attack. All of the air is gone from the room and he just wants to feel okay again. He grabs a beer off of the table and opens it before chugging it down. He finishes and throws it away from him. He takes shallow breaths and looks around wildly. He grabs another beer and struggles to open it. He succeeds and takes a drink, but manages to stop himself from drinking the whole thing. He struggles to stand up and makes his way outside, still holding the half empty beer. He collapses on the porch and throws the beer away from him, spraying himself with alcohol as it flies. He digs his nails into his palms and tries to remember to breathe.
Chris: Nate! (he runs over to him and sees the beer in the grass. Nate is trying to catch his breath. Chris sits next to him. Joey and Ashleigh run up behind him.)
Nate: (finally getting his breathing under control, looks Chris dead in the eyes) I'm not okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nate is sitting with his legs dangling over the railing. He is smoking a cigarette. There are discarded cigarettes all around him. Suddenly, Chris sits down next to him.
Chris: You think I was going to spend the night after what happened? After I took you home I went back to get Joey and Ashleigh. I couldn't stay.
Nate: (ashamed, bitter) Sorry I spoiled your fun.
Nate: I told you I was okay.
Chris: I knew you weren't. (Nate opens his mouth to reply) You're all or nothing, Nate. You know it as well as I do. There was never a chance that you could pace yourself.
Nate: (disgustedly) I'm weak.
Chris: No. You've just been in too deep. There's no way you could go back to being a casual drinker. Or user.
Nate: (quietly) All or nothing....Chris?
Nate: It's not even really about the beer. I mean, I'm addicted to that too, obviously, but... (he's ashamed) When I stop and think about it....It's all about the coke. I...I miss it so much.
Nate: No...you can't. It...it didn't even feel good after awhile. I mean, I'd done it for years. It just...I had to do it. It doesn't feel good but...I need it.
Nate: No, I still do. (gets another cigarette) Nothing will change that. Not drinking or smoking or rehab or anything. Nothing except dying. It...it is me. (quietly) I never stop thinking about it. And it's like I need something, anything, to keep my mind off of it. And that happened tonight.
Chris: (quiet for a minute. He's debating whether he wants to say what's on his mind) What's it like?
Nate: Fuck. It's...it's...wow. The first time you do it...you fly. You...you bounce off the walls. It has this punch that just...it takes you away.
Chris: What about the second time and the third time and the twenty-sixth time?
Nate: (shrugs) It's never as good as the first time. And, it's like, you know it never will be. But you still keep doing it. You need to do it. It's overpowering. Stronger than you, or anybody. It's never going to be like the first time. But you keep trying. You do more and more and feel less and less good. But you keep going. Hoping that maybe this time you'll fly again.
Nate: (laughs harshly and takes a drag before answering) No. You never do.
Nate: Me too. But you know what the fucked up part is? I wouldn't give up that feeling for anything.
Chris: I'm sorry. I wanted to believe in you. But I shouldn't have put you in that situation.
Nate: I want to be able to go to parties with you guys.
Chris: And maybe you can. Someday. But can't you see that you can't right now? You're putting too much pressure on yourself. "Be normal now or you're a fuck up." You're not going to automatically be okay just because you want to be. (quiet for a minute) I'm sorry I left you alone.
Nate: (shrugs) It's okay. I think it would have happened anyway. (He flicks his cigarette on the pile and gets a new one. Chris holds out a hand. Nate looks at him before handing him one. He lights them both, and they smoke together.)
Nate: (looking at the cigarette in his hand) How come no one's been getting onto me about giving up smoking?
Chris: Nate, you've had to give up so much these past few months. I think you deserve something.
Nate: (thoughtfully) I always have to be addicted to something.
Chris: Maybe one day you'll quit.
Nate: (still thoughtful, while taking a drag) Maybe.
Nate: I really thought I'd be okay by now. I've been sober for months.
Chris: Yeah. But you've been addicted a lot longer than that. This could take years.
Nate: (leans his head against the railing) I thought that rehab would make it go away.
Chris: It helped. And Nate, I was proud of you for going. (Nate looks at him) Even though I hated you. I was glad you finally decided to go.
Nate: (smiles slightly, breathes out smoke) They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no."
Chris: (getting up) I'm glad you said yes. (He walks over to the door and holds it open)
Nate: (holding up cigarette) I'm gonna be out here a little longer.
Chris: (rolling his eyes in defeat) You can smoke inside, Nate.
Nate smiles and laughs a little, before getting up and going inside. Chris follows him and closes the door. There is a shot of a pile of cigarettes on the floor outside of their door.
