RETURNING TO WORK - What works and what sucks
It has now been a month since I have gone back to work. The one thing that I really miss the most is the special bond that comes with being with your child every moment. I never put Jorian down or left the home for more than 20 minutes in those first few months. When I returned to work I thought that he wouldn't be able to get along without me. My biggest fear was that he would cry all day and never eat because I wasn't around.
Boy was I wrong… He definitely gets along without me.
What a jerk. My inner “smother-mother “ tries to convince me that the only reason that he does get along without me is because he no longer cares or views me as his primary source of life and all that is new. For three months he “pretended” that life was soooo hard and that my holding, bouncing, rocking and feeding him was the only way to cope. But I guess Dad is funnier than me so all those coping mechanisms no longer matter. Also, my inner smother-mother has definitely been reading too much Dr. Sears.
I have found that I don’t need to Skype every breast pumping session to still have a loving bond with my son. Now, my weekends alone with Jorian feel like such a gift and I definitely cram my weekday evenings with a walk, some play and a long bedtime nursing session.
Even though I miss toting him around in the sling while playing house ALL DAY; and dancing him to sleep to the 10 hour version of XX’s Intro – my alone-time with him two days a week is still so special. And to be honest – 2 days keeps me sane (or should I say culturally acceptable). If I were allowed to spend every day with him – I would definitely be that mother who breast feeds her child the morning she puts them on the bus for kindergarten. As much as I want to be that mother – working and moming has forced me to strike a balance somewhere.
In any case – I did cry the first week that I went back to work. But now it's not so bad. Something really happens to a mom once she goes back to work. You actually become an efficient and productive human being. Long gone are the days of procrastination. Don’t get me wrong – I still procrastinate as any “artist” has the right to – I just know how to get my butt in gear or else I am working weekends.
Four months in and four months of awesome. M my kid is objectively the cutest, sweetest, funniest baby out there. But what kind of mother would I be if I didn't think that ;) Justin is sure a lucky stay at home dad – and I am sure a lucky mom who doesn't have to wash cloth diapers daily. Life is good.