Peace begins with a smile || Johnny & Sebastian
Who: Johnny & Sebastian.
Where: Camp, forest around the camp’s perimeter.
When: The middle of the day, Monday.
What: Sebastian convinces Johnny to come for a walk with him, promising to make him smile.
Johnny looked around, first left, then right. There were not many people around the camp at the moment. Most were in their tents and the ones that were out and about on the grounds seems pretty preoccupied with what they were doing. He shrugged to himself a little and decided that there couldn't really be any harm on going for a short walk with Sebastian. He liked the man, a lot. Seb was a breath of fresh air. The man always had a smile on his face and kind words on his lips. Johnny couldn't physically remember a day where he hadn't seen Seb smile. He followed the man between the trees and after a few short paces caught up with him. He walked along side the younger male and cocked his head a little “How is it you always manage to smile?” He asked, brow furrowed slightly. He was never sure if Seb was blissfully ignorant or maybe knew some kind of secret the rest of them didn't. Whatever the reason was Johnny longed to know. He spent so much of his time worrying and questioning the motives of those around him, some days he just ended up forgetting to smile. Sebastian loved nature. And walks. And company. In fact, there weren't many things he didn't love. He noted the few stray birds in the crowns of the trees as he ventured towards the inner part of the forest, trusting Johnny to fall right behind. When the man voiced his question Sebastian let a small smile tug at his lips as he turned to look at him for a moment. "Is life different? Yeah, immensely so. Is life hard? Yes, yeah it is but a lot of you are focusing on the negatives. It's understandable but while you're all busy indulging in sadness I see the other side of the coin and yes, there is one. Look at us. Weve built something. A community. If it wasn't for this happening then some of us might have never met. Beautiful things happen everyday Johnny. And I don't mean something that immediately strikes you, I mean the little things. There's birds still singing. Noah misses hiking and he's so playful, it's amazing. He's still got it, you know? The sparkle in his eyes? We've all had it, some of us have lost it." His expression fell a little with his next sentence. "You lost it." His eyes were on the path ahead when he said it but immediately afterwards he turned to walk backwards, in front of Johnny. "I'll make something beautiful happen. I'll bring your sparkle back. And make you smile. I should have warned you that I talk a lot." Johnny followed Sebastian through the woods and into the clearing between the trees. The sun was pouring down, making dappled patterns on the ground as they walked. He listened silently as Seb talked, the man sure did have a lot to say but what he was saying was damn true. People like Seb and Noah...they had hope. And hope was the most important thing a person could possess in a situation like this. He nodded slowly “I understand what you're saying Seb, but not everyone can see the beauty in life” he frowned slightly when the younger male told him he no longer had a 'sparkle' in his eyes. He shrugged a little. “I've seen some shit” he muttered under his breath. “Being a solider, fighting for you life, killing men for a living, it does things to you....there are some things you can never return from” he sighed. He watched as Sebastian began walking backwards along the path, still talking “Careful, you'll trip and fall if you don't watch where you are going” Johnny warned, arching an eyebrow slightly, noting a protruding root from a large oak tree in the not too distance future of Seb's footing. He contemplated telling the man, warning him, but on the other hand seeing him fall might teach him not to be so foolish to begin with. “That sounds all well and good but I don't think you can just MAKE something beautiful happen...not really. Get my sparkle back? Hrmm I'll believe that when I see it” he muttered shaking his head. “It's okay...at least you're interesting to converse with” he smiled, then at the last second he added “Watch that tree root!”. Sebastian was much too distracted by Johnny's words - and his own thoughts - to react quickly enough. He tripped and fell back right onto his ass. His arms were behind him, stopping him from landing on his back. A ladybird crawled onto his hand and he lifted it up to see it better. "Look at this little creature. It has no idea bad things are happening. It goes on its merry way." He smiled, moving his hand close to a leaf so the ladybird could crawl onto that instead. He then got up and patted his trousers down to get rid of some of the dirt. Only then did Johnny's words occur to him again. He got a little sidetracked by the ladybird and the fall. He turned to the man and grabbed his hands, not thinking much of it. "Everyone can see beauty, if they look hard enough. It's everywhere. If you stay really really quiet, you might hear the chirping of little birds or even the wind that consistently carries silent messages across the world. Look at the way the sun lights up your eyes so that the pair of them and the afternoon clear sky are one." He lifted one of Johnny's hands up and turned the palm upwards so he could trace his finger down the man's wrist. "Your veins are a map and isn't it crazy how we all have our own unique patterns, marking out our lives? Your heart pumps blood around the motorways and alleys of your bloodstream so that you can live, so you can protect, so you can blush or damn even get an erection." He put his index finger over the spot of Johnny's heart. "Did you know that if you press two hearts next to each other eventually they'll beat in harmony? If that isn't your definition of beauty, what is?" Johnny felt a little guilty that due to his late warning Seb ended up falling. However this didn't seem to bother the younger male whatsoever. Instead he became engrossed with a tiny bug walking across his hand. Johnny frowned and crouched down, inspecting the small creature. “It's brain is probably the size of the head on a pin” he muttered as he stood up again once Sebastian had so delicately placed the ladybird onto the leaf. Johnny took a step back as Seb leaned in to him, grabbing his hands and turning them over. He wasn't at all used to someone being this close to his personal space. Johnny was not an affectionate man at the best of times, not even with his damn son so having some man take his hands and stroke his arms with his fingertips was more than a little out of Johnny's comfort zone. “You're....a little odd” he muttered under his breath, but the statement didn't seem to bother Seb in the slightest, in fact the man continued on talking as if nothing had even happened. Johnny bit his lip as Seb talked, there was something so beautiful about the way he phrased his words, like he was speaking in lyrics. He nodded his head slowly “The human body sure is an amazing thing” he mumbled then pulled his hands away quickly when Seb began talking about erections. Did this man have no shame? Johnny cleared his throat “Shall we continued?” he grunted, hoping they would soon start walking again but now the younger males fingertip was pressed against his chest. He glanced down into Sebastian eyes. They were bluer than the ocean.“I didn't know that....is that really true?” he asked curiously. He was just about ready to move away and carry on walking, not wishing to make Johnny too uncomfortable, but then he posed the question and there seemed to be genuine curiosity in his voice. Sebastian offered a nod, followed by a very sincere smile. "It's true. I've put it to a test and it is, it's very true." He stepped back then, giving Johnny some space to breathe. Sometimes it was hard to get people to see the good side of things but Sebastian's determination was unwavering. He rarely ever gave up - be it on people, projects or promises. He began walking again at a rather leisurely pace. "Seeing terrible things doesn't make the sea less blue and the sun less magnificent. We've all seen our share of horror, some more than others but a wounded soul is a soul all the same. I could easily share the pieces of my soul with you but try as I might the puzzles mightn't fit. Sometimes you've got to be your own hero. I can only remind you that you've been wearing the cape all along." Johnny arched an eyebrow then nodded slightly “That's interesting, I never knew that. I guess you learn something new every day huh?” he said as the pair began walking again. Johnny rubbed his cheek a little, his stubble catching on his hand sightly as he did so. “Does doing terrible things make you less of a good person?” He asked softly as he looked down at the ground frowning. “I don't know if I even believe in souls” he muttered. “What good is a soul? You can't see it, you can't feel it, it doesn't help you in any way...I don't...I don't know” he shrugged a little then frowned “I am my own hero. I'm everyone's hero. The day I take off my cape is the day I lay down in the dirt and die”. Johnny could be incredibly stubborn about things like this. When he felt someone even mildly scratching at the surface of his emotional well being he'd change the subject to go in a different direction completely. He was a complex man with many layers. He was not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve like Sebastian. He admired people who could do this but Johnny, he could never show anyone how he truly felt. He saw any emotion as a sign of weakness. And then just like that, Sebastian stopped. They were in the middle of some sort of a clearing but that wasn't why he'd stopped. He had an epiphany of sorts. Something that Johnny had said triggered it. The 'everyone's hero' thing. He turned to look at the man before nodding towards the ground. "Let's sit." And so he did. Glancing up he added. "I'm not moving until you sit. Or you can just stand there awkwardly if you'd rather. It'd be nicer to talk to you at eye level though." He smiled up at Johnny, hoping to make the situation a little lighter. The whole talk of hearts and rhythm reminded him of his ex. It brought a smile to his face but he felt a little pang of pain and nostalgia. Giving enough time for Johnny to make his decision of either standing or sitting he began. "Being everyone's hero has got to put a lot of pressure on you. You're a very good man. I see you always giving orders right and left and sometimes you can be a little rough but.. Its like.. It's like youre a turtle. I think, anyway. You use the harshness as the shell. We've all got our own ways of coping." “Sit?” Johnny frowned a little “I thought you wanted to go for a walk and now you're telling me you want to sit down?” he sighed a little exasperated but he complied none the less. He didn't feel like standing there while the younger male talked up to him. He sat down on the ground, legs spread, hands resting on either thigh as he looked over at Sebastian. He thought the younger male was going to go off on some spiel about how beautiful the clouds were, how green the grass was, how buzzy the bees were or something just as cheesy but no, the conversation had once again gone full circle back around to him and his emotions again. Something Johnny was trying to stay well and truly clear off. He shrugged a little. “It is pressure but it's not the type of pressure I can't handle” he explained. “If I don't assert my authority, things don't get done. There is a reason I'm tough, I don't let people walk all over me” he added. He frowned, thought for a moment then spluttered with laughter when Sebastian said he was like a turtle. “I'd like to think of myself as something a little more majestic, like a lion, or a tiger....not a fucking turtle!” he shook his head. “You're barking up the wrong tree with this whole turtle analogy...sorry!” he grunted folding his arms over his chest in a defensive manner “What kind of animal are you?” he said, changing the subject yet again. “Oh and just so you know..I cope just FINE”. "Oh I got the analogy just right." He smiled but made no further argument. His goal wasn't to rile Johnny up and he clearly preferred to be seen as a predator. Sebastian could understand that in a way. He didn't work like that but he could, if he tried, wrap his head around it. "I would probably be an elephant. They seem wise, it'd be nice to be wise. And they can die of heartbreak! Imagine!" He smiled again but that faltered a little as he tilted his head and took a good look at Johnny. "I know your son's here with you. When was the last time you talked with him? Don't think me cheeky, I don't ask you for answers. You might as well answer in your own head. Are you coping? I mean..." He glanced around. "I'm sure that if you drop the alpha macho male stance for a moment, no one's going to rattle on you. You can talk here. Just a thought." He shrugged and once again, sent a sincere - albeit concerned - smile Johnny's way. “Whatever you say Seb, whatever you say” he muttered shaking his head. He could very easily argue with the man but Sebastian wasn't the kind of person one argued with. He was too...kind hearted. It never really felt right. He nodded slowly “I could see you as an elephant too. They are graceful in their own way. Very smart, loving, loyal animals” he said then shook his head when Sebastian told him they could die of a broken heart “They are one of the very few animals apart from human's that actually cry tears when they are sad as well” he added. Johnny did not mind talking about animals, but what he hadn't prepared himself for was where this conversation was going now. “He is here with me...what's it to you?” he frowned a little, Johnny was always incredibly over protective of his son despite the fact that the two males were far from close. He furrowed his brow “I talked to him just this morning, I told him to gather firewood with Ike” he shrugged a little. “With? We don't...no, we don't really talk WITH one another. I talk at him and he does what I say...most of the time” he sighed then rubbed his temples and shot Seb a look “This doesn't leave this conversation...okay?” he grunted “I...I don't know what to do with that boy. I can't get through to him. AT ALL. He's...nothing like me, Seb. We have not a damn thing in common” he sighed heavily. Sebastian sat there and listened intently to Johnny's words. He was glad to hear the man sharing some things. It meant he could feel a little lighter maybe. A problem shared was a problem halved after all. He nodded a little. "You know, things in common don't make a relationship. One of my ex partners was quite the opposite of me. She was quite introverted, very academically oriented and logic inclined. It was hard at first but once you let go of the expectations you set for people, its so much easier. We do that all the time. We imagine what our boyfriend/girlfriend, our best friend, our child will look and be like. We hold these real people up to imaginary and often ridiculous ideals we've set for them and then get aggregated when they don't tick all the boxes. Relationships that have a huge common ground are easy. It's when you don't have anything in common when you really learn and grow. You have to go out of your way and see the other person for who they are. Your son seems a very intelligent kid and you, you're a good man. I know you want all the best for him but during days like these, you mustn't forget to remind him." Johnny sighed a little “I just...don't know how to get through to him. It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes” he muttered. He listened to Seb talk and nodded a little “I guess you're right about that, it's hard not to have ideals though. He's my son, I want him to grow up into a strong, proud man. I want him to be able to stand up for himself, to fight...but he's always got his head in a book...I just...I don't know how to talk to him Sebastian, I just don't” Johnny exhaled heavily and rubbed his temples. “You're right, he is very smart but smarts isn't always enough. You need to have skill, courage, strength to be a man...you need to be...respected” he grunted. “I don't...I can't...talk to him like that. I don't talk to anyone like that...hell I'm surprised at myself for even discussing these things with you...it's just, that wasn't the way I was raised you know? My family, we didn't talk about our feelings...our emotions. That was the way I went on to raise my family. It's just...so much easier with my daughters, but my son...no. It's hard. It's...difficult Seb” Johnny muttered rubbing the back of his neck now.