The art of secret snacking
If I had to break down parenting, percentage wise I would say that 15% is actual parenting, changing nappies, feeding, bathing, playing with them and reading books.
20% is cleaning up after them, and picking shit up off the ground. This includes all the food they throw around at meal times, (rice is Willow’s favourite to throw), cleaning Playdoh that’s stuck on the ground, wiping crayon off surfaces, cleaning up after them when they come back in the house from playing outside and my personal favourite is to clean up after Willow when she spits water on the ground after she’s done having a drink.
30% is keeping them safe, and not in a warm cuddle sort of way but I guess that’s included too. I mean the taking them off the table kind of safe, making sure they don’t jump/fall off the couch kind of safe. The safe I mean is when you baby proof the house and they manage to take it off and try and eat the baby proofing kind of safe. It’s the don’t play with switches and no you can’t hang out with mummy when she’s cooking kind of safe.
But none of these take the cake. The whopping 35% for me personally is what I like to call Secret Snacking. Secret snacking is a thing that I am assuming all parent’s do, and it didn’t even start till recently, if you have a baby under six months I feel like you should enjoy the fact that they don’t eat solids regularly yet because once they start that’s the end of you snacking openly in front of them. I am a huge foodie and like Joey from Friends I don’t like to share my food, and this is why I have started secret snacking. Toddlers, children and even adults feel like they can take/want a piece of your food when you eat it in front of them and personally I hate this, though I’m guilty of it too (I ask for a bite of my brothers food a lot) but I hate it especially when it’s Willow who asks, 1 because a lot of snacks are pure junk that she shouldn’t be eating and 2 because once I give her one bite she cries and whines till she gets more and more eventually taking most of the snack.
So now I secret snack, I watch TV with her and hide my salt and vinegar chips under the blanket and eat. I buy KFC and only take out a chip at a time from the bag so she doesn’t know much there this. I leave my soft drink in the kitchen and go back for it when I clean the dishes. I get her to play with her toys in one room and sneak out and eat the chocolate that I’ve been hiding in my pocket. It’s bad but its reality. When Willow is older I feel like she can snack too, it’s unfair for me eat all these foods and then give her fruit only as snacks but for now I feel she’s too young, if she can’t say the sentence “mummy can I please have some ice cream?” then is she old enough for it? No, in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong I don’t deprive her, if we go to birthdays and everyone’s eating cake she can have some too, or if its a hot day and everyone’s having ice-cream she can share with mummy, I don’t mind. But dude, If I am having chocolate cravings because I am PMS-ing and I want a giant snickers bar and don’t want to share, then I’m going to put her in front of the TV let her watch Sesame Street and hide in the kitchen and eat. It’s a thing, parents do it.
Anyway thats all for now, baby girl is still napping and there’s some fairy floss in the cupboard with my name on it.