#secretsofmyheart

[souojota]

"Home is wherever I’m with you" I’ve said, but now… It was as if I had to choose between you and the art. ART ALWAYS WIN.

[birdypup]

Behind the Scenes

All this is a show to hide what you don't know. I call their names when I'm lost, trying to find a home for the broken, but I still feel alone wandering this place. I wish you'd find me again, the spirits know that behind closed doors my heart still sings your name. Why have you gone away? I wish you'd return home to stay. Do you feel these tears fall upon a sullen night? Do you hear my whispers that cry for a time gone by? Still you seem deaf to it all. Like a star blind to its own light. I have the strength to move on, leave a world I love behind, but I miss the rush of flying with you by my side. A warmth that fueled flames of passion no one else will ever understand. We escaped the days, speaking in secret kisses. A language distant now and listless but never forgotten. The moon remains my guide, though its wonder has begun to fade like the colors of the day. Where is my white knight? I'm waiting for the cold to wain, and welcome another summer's rain. Let my heart rest in your arms once more. You held the key to every door, but now I can't speak a word of the hurt hidden from the known. I'm left to the wolves, guarded from what you'll never know. So on goes the show.

[nerapalooza-blog]

I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged by Jeem (nightworldlove.tumblr.com)

Jeem's Questions:

The person asking you this (me/Jeem), what is she to you? Well I don't really know you but your blog is great!

Favorite thing about every season of the year: That it is always changing, especially in New England where I live, the weather changes constantly and so does the gorgeous scenery!

All the types of transportation you’ve ever used: Car, train, subway, plane, bike, skateboard, pogo stick

Your favorite vacation-destination you’ve ever been to: Ogunquit, Maine :)

Have you any extreme things you want to do in your life (bucketlist)? Way too many to list! I am an adrenaline junky so if it sounds extreme at all, I want to try it! Live fast<3

Scariest but most awesome thing you’ve ever done/experienced? Traveling on a plane to a city I'd never been to by myself when I wasn't even an adult yet.

Getting touched (place on body,notdown there,) gives you shivers: Not sure but I am VERY ticklish!

What do you think there is after death? Nothingness.  

Water or fire? um, idk?

Favorite blog top 5: Nightworldlove, Thatonekidconnor, SecretsOfMyHeart, WhatsTheEnPointe, Callitrichidae Now answer my questions, favorite blogs! 1. What is the meaning of life? 2. Favorite movie or tv show  3. Favorite movie or tv show quote 4. Top 10 favorite bands atm 5. Why do you follow me? 6. Chocolate or sex? 7. Favorite plant 8. Favorite animal 9. What do you think is the most important political/social justice fight of our generation? 10. Post a picture of your pet (if you have one) or just a random cute animal!

[courage-2-live]

Secrets of the Heart...

I wish everything was so much more different. He doesnt care... and if he does, he has a very good way at hiding it. How is it that i like every wrong guy... like how do i manage that... can somebody tell me please. Hes everything i feel like i need but at the same time hes everything i should stay away from. How did i manage to like him when he never gave me a sign and still doesnt. I dont understand why... i honestly wanna break down right now but i cant i cant let myself... i hate that i care and to a certain extent always will. I wanna say and legit mean that im done but that cant happen yet either... Im just confused and i want him to get away and just disappear from my life. I want him out of my life, mind and heart, he doesnt deserve any of them.  Im just another person to him. im nothing to him and he has to be nothing to me too. One day i wanna be able to look at him and say "fuck you" and mean with all my being. im just mad at this point because my life is a mess and he adds to it. Hes what i think will make me happy but in reality he makes my life a living hell. How did i manage to get so fucking attached to someone i barely know, its the idea of what he is and what stands for but idk who he really is or what he really stands for. At the party today he didnt say hi or even make eye contact... it broke my heart because i was hoping he would at least say "hi" one word would of made my night... ONE WORD. Im tired of being the single one that no one looks at, it hurts... When i tell people all this they say it'll be fine but will it really? will i ever be the one somebody looks at and thinks "wow im so lucky to have her"? I wish he knew, i wished he knew what i felt, and i wish he felt the same way back and i wish it was that easy and we could be together but its not... shits all types of fucked up. I wish i could control my heart and tell it that hes not supposed to be in there, that hes just a normal person, but it doesnt work like that, hes in there and idk if he will ever come out. how did i manage this... idk how to deal with this life. What it comes down to it, i thought he could save me from me, from this life i was trying to out-smart but life's a bitch and she won. Im stuck and she just keeps throwing these blows that almost knock me down completely... i honesty dont know how im still standing and still just a little bit willing to fight, willing to one day succeed at out-smarting life...