#see? normal.

[god-damned-me]

*Unzips his pants* You need a dick, I need a mouth.

I think we can make this work, Rev. -🍏

Ah… damn it, I won’t even pretend to hesitate. Not this time. Sinking down on my knees, never breaking eye contact with you. Parting my lips eagerly but still, I will make it graceful. Fucking a priest in his own church like this must be something worth remembering good so we’ll make each second count.

Don’t know if you’re a fan of my sermons, if you ever paid attention at all. Not gonna pretend I give a damn either. But this is something I’ll do oh so good.

[nicohischier]

Is that so then name 5 normal things about the devils

when the devils broke the nhl record for single-season points increase by going from 63 points last year to 112 points this year and i was so super normal and calm about everything they've accomplished

the way that every single player on the roster is sooo normal about each other and spend an appropriate amount of time staring deeply into each others eyes after wins because theyre all supportive on a normal level

the way all three of our goalies are definitely not co-dependent with each other and even though the position of goalie is always the most competitive position they have constantly spoken about how supportive the others were for their starts and their wins and their success

how so many of them have come out and said, very normally, that they see a bright future for this team and they want to be part of it like erik saying this team is his family and he doesnt to play for another team and working to get a contract done immediately after they were eliminated and jonas taking a discount to make the salary cap situation easier for fitzy and jesper being so obvious that he wants to stay here and hes confident that his agent and fitzy will get his long term deal settled soon and these guys love this team a normal amount

and, of course, the thing i've never once mentioned before and don't feel crazy about, the way that they started this season with the weight of a 63 point season and a 28th league standing on their backs and chants to fire their head coach (who is now a jack adams finalist) and then went on a 13 game win streak and then broke the franchise record for wins and points and made playoffs as the third overall team in the league and then they beat the rangers in the first round after going down 0-2 in the series which gave them their first series win since 2012 which funnily enough was also against the rangers but no one expected any of that people expected them to fail they thought the win streak was just a hot period they thought the rangers would win them and then would sweep and then none of that was true because this team was historic