#seid worker

[shibariphoenix]

How I ended up as a spirit worker

It was not by choice.

I had always been fascinated by stories of ghosts and faries, but not much more than any of the other kids. When I would try to go to sleep, I always felt like someone was watching me. I thought it might be aliens, ghosts, or fae. I was scared at that time, but I never had nightmares about it.

When I was 14, during the summer, I wanted to die. I had a plan, and had made a few schedules. I was never able to stick to a schedule though. Over the course of a few weeks, I had started to feel like it was more than just someone watching me sleep. It was starting to feel like someone was in the bed with me. I had never had someone in my bed, so it was hard to describe.

This continued for a few months. Then one night I realized that I was having an internal monologue, that was a dialogue. I did not know what the other voice was going to say. I just stopped, and my mind went quiet for a while, then "so you finally noticed? It's been a while now." This relationship grew for the next few years. By the end of high school, I would interact with no fewer than 3 spirits on a regular basis, and I'd have my first schizophrenia screening (Everytime they check, they are like "nope, guess not").

A note on how my *sight* works. I hear in mainly 2 ways. Eaither it's very live and like I have a person in my head with me, or it's like a memory of a thing that just happened, like I just remember having had the conversation. The vision works much the same and the second method. In recent years I have been able to go into a trance, where everything is much more vivid.

So, back during that summer, I was playing some Tekken, hanging out with this spirit, and I say to her "hey, I can't exactly call you 'spirit' can I? Did you have a name?" She says "I've had many names, different names for where ever I have been, if you need a name, you could call me by that girl's name there on the screen." "Xiaoyu?" " No, her other name, Ling." 2 or years later, I was searching on Google, like I did at times, "ling meaning" or "ling Chinese letter" and on the Google image search, she suddenly jams up my brain, and says, "that one!" It was a drawing of 灵. Once I learned how to use a Chinese dictionary, I found the meaning to be "spirit, departed soul, or coffin." It is also used in the words for Jinn, fairies, and occult spirits.

That's enough for now, things to cover in the future: the many facets of Ling and how that has resolved, looking for spirits and how I ID them, the nature of conditional entities vs those that are not, offerings, trance work with ADHD, fareing forth, shapechangeing and locomotion

I hope you enjoyed. The preceding is entirely true. Ask questions or message if you like.

--nina

[shibariphoenix]

How I became Spirit worker, part 2

Things continued as before for a long time. Almost 20 years. In that time, I had few experiences of note. (The last paragraph is the very important bit)

Over the course of several months I was taught how to shape change into a large bird, a dark brown bird with something loose around its feet.

I was taught how to focus my energy into objects, both corporeal and not.

I was taught how to change the way I perceive myself, how to feel what I would later learn as an astral form.

And I was taught two of the most important interpersonal skills I would ever learn: oral sex, and compassion. Yes, a spirit taught me, and aperently taught me well.

During this period, I frequently we noticed inconsistencies with how Ling manifested. Sometimes appearing very pale, sometimes much darker. Speech rate changed frequently, mannerisms, moods, clothing, color of light, all changed sometimes many times a day. I dismissed this as either hallucinations or changes in my ability to perceive.

Some nights she would hold me and sing to me, and wrap a large wing around me like a cloak. When she would do this there be the faint glow of candle light.

When I spoke with her about death, she would speak very slowly and always called me "child". The color was very grey and cold. During one of these talks, she taught me how to be one with the cold. How to take the winter into me embrace the ice.

She taught me to fight, and how to harness my rage when needed. In these lessons she was always very tall and bright.

She taught me how to enjoy my experiences, how to live in the moment, and she very much liked to share honey and cherry blossoms. In these moments she was always wearing blue, black hair, swarthy skin, and much shorter then me.

Sometimes she was very contrary and likes to prank me and other people. When she was like this she was always much like the blue look, but wearing green.

There were other Spirits as well, one wearing armor with red hair. I could only see his hair when the helmet was off. He carried a sword and spear. I was scared of him and I don't know why....

The night he first appeared, I was 19 or so, Ling(the Amber and winged one) said to me "I have to go for a while. You will be safe. My daughters will protect you." Then about 40 ft away i saw a large circle, seemingly made of fire, blue and green with edges of red and pink. And she went away. Remaining in my room was a man in armor, and a tall woman in white and grey, with an axe. I panicked, screamed, and cried. I woke up the entire house, everybody was confused about me yelling that there was people in my room, I didn't know what to do.

Within a few weeks things return to normal. Though without the bird visions, or the feathered hugs. Those would not return untill recently.

I would date a few witches in the next 15 or so years, they always recognize that I was different very quickly. One work with me on warding, another on energy transfer. It was all very fun. But never very in-depth or formal.

About 5 years ago, I took a university history class called "magic and the Occult in the West" we had to do a research paper on a magical topic of our choosing. I chose to write about myself, and began really learning what was going on with me.

This class is how I would learn that it was Freya who had been with me, she had taught me the falcon form, and had kept me from hurting myself. That it was bifrost that I saw as a fiery ring. That it was Hela who had taught me of death and ice. That my fylgja is an ice giant, and shape changer. That there are fairies that follow me or something similar to. Also how to use the lessons to travel to other realms. This class really opened up my eyes, all three of them.

Thank you,

--nina