#self inspired

[grishamanimationstudios102]

Penciller Smurf is here, getting bored from having to hear Johan and Peewit argue while on an adventure. Even some Smurfs have their moments of boredom.

[psybabasblog]

[umaralikhokharbristol-ii]

My Drawing Of A BMW - Own Conceptual Design Idea [Uni. Work Drawn Part Uni & Home - 2008]

[3am-reader-decaf]

brb I’m on my way to write some self indulgent vent iwaoi fic that references my own childhood best friends to lovers situation

[mountain-man-cumeth]

4, 10,12 31 > random character asks

4. What is their favourite food? Their daily diet?

- He has an eating disorder, he doesn’t enjoy food like healthy people. He eats whatever’s leftover from last night, probably one course a day and some snacks in between. He’s not eating less due to body image issues, he has low appetite and tends to forgets.

- His favourite food used to be ram testicles since it was the cheapest delicacy he could get and he indulged in it whenever he could, sneakily.

Character questions

[beautiful-and-strange]

I am pathetic.

[alittleunsteady92-blog]

If It Should

It’s in the cards, it seems. If one reading wasn’t enough to convince, then surely all subsequent readings repeating it should be. It’s almost funny, really. How the cards seem so adamant about it.

The same ones seem to pop up no matter how long and well the deck is shuffled. According to them he will be a part of my life soon. Sooner than I anticipated. Sooner than I would have dared to hope.

The real irony is that when I asked about it, the Ace of Cups was the one that answered each time.

It seems almost surreal, though. For years I have waited for him in this lifetime. I have loved him in at least two others, and the thought of loving him again makes my heart sing, and weep with tears of joy all at once.

To be held by those arms again. To be loved in such a way as to feel that his very presence is the definition of home. What person alive would not long for such a thing?

Oh, I’m not speaking of the love of fairy tales and romance novels. Not the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, and nothing ever goes wrong. Such love does not exist, or if it does, it never lasts.

No, the love I speak of is warmth. It is comfort after a long day. Presence when even being surrounded by others makes you feel alone. The kind of love that has its issues, but that means enough, and is mature enough, to solve those problems. Where conversation happens, instead of everything being swept under the rug.

This is what the cards say is to come. It is, again, what my heart has yearned for so long to have. What I have waited to have returned to be from lifetimes past. So, why, then? Why does the thought terrify me so? Have I been hurt in such a way that I am afraid he would do the same, even if my heart argues that he never would? Is it the times that I have lost him in past lives that scares me so?

Perhaps it is the fear that even though he is what I have been waiting for, even though he is all of these things to me, (never having met him) I am not what he is longing for.

Self-doubt can be crippling. For all I know, this may all just be the hopeless romantic in me. Perhaps none of this will come to pass. But if it should. Oh, if it should.