I am going insane. Maybe I am still breaking myself but not the way it used to. It has yet to manifest into something physical, at least not that I know of. It is deep inside me. Waiting for me to start the process. Wide eyed and alert. Always there. The process of self-annihilation. The process of losing myself within myself. Going unhinged is a desire of mine. Female rage, but I am not angry at anyone or men in particular. Raging towards me. My worse enemy. I will be myself. And you know who is ‘myself’? Insanity. Out of bounds crazy. But no one knows that. They only see the uptight, stone cold demeanor that I choose to show them. Calculated, but you don’t know that. I am the one that demolished you, but you don’t know that. Because you hate me and you hate your love for me. I am you. Who you can be if you be if you aren’t so pathetic. I am you at your fullest potential. I am the one that will take your friends away from you. Drain you of colour and joy. Turn joyous into obsession. I will turn you inside you before I kill you; myself. I will make sure you end up in scars and shame if it is the last thing, a parting gift i do and give you. Collapse from exhaustion. Pages upon pages with leaks of desperation seeping through, screaming for help. But no one will hear you in the darkest corner of the room. My room. Our eyes will speak but the mouth will open and it will be my voice. What I choose to let them know will silence you even more.
