idk what trauma survivor or psychotic person needs to hear this but not being happy for someone whos abused you or given you brain damage when they experience success doesn't make you an envious person. insane statement.. i know! but you're not!
and if they call you that, well thats gas-lighting, and you're still not.. having a sense of self really serves as a protective factor from ppl's gas-lit interpretations of you and it's so important. it's also possible that the person gas-lighting you may struggle with envy and r projecting. I'm sorry this is happening to you
Also if the reality is that you hate them as a consequence of trauma they put u thru and their gas-lighting, that’s also a valid and justified feeling to have and you are not an evil monster for that (toxic positivity can be so vicious to trauma survivors). Neither does ur inability to be happy for someone who’s hurt you. Neither make u an evil monster.