The curse of the oral fixiation
Recently I made a handful of changes to my lifestyle. First I went all raw, then i naturally was less inclined to smoke so i quit smoking. after 10 days of only raw (and eating insane amounts of raw veggies and nothing else) i relapsed on junk food and smoked one day.
Taking note of the major differences, I noticed my dreaming was the most obvious change, and that i slept much more peacefully when i was eating all raw. I also noticed that regardless of the processed food the 10 days of all raw had somehow kick started my metabolism like never before.
now I'm seeing that really just eating two raw meals a day, even if i want to munch out, my body can feel a major and surprising difference. My main issue right now is that I am a 10 year smoker gone cold turkey so i have this incessant need to be orally fixated (laugh all you want guys let the dick sucking jokes commence) but for real, I have not been able to incorporate all raw and no smoking for a major long term period due to the need to be eating things. I keep turning to candy and sugar to overcompensate for the need to smoke.
I feel like after a month... it's been about 15 days since i quit and the first time i have ever quit and been around people smoking, and also not smoked. I even had money and went to the store to buy smokes but settled for ice cream instead.
basically I"m trying not to be too hard on myself for eating junk food with the raw food diet because really I'm adding years to my life by not inhaling all these toxic fumes daily and I feel like i need to remind myself that I deserve a bit of an enjoyable transition.
I'm proud of myself, overall. I have conquered some major personal demons over the last 7 months and been finding ways of not abandoning their spirit but embracing other aspects of my own health and lifestyle as an artist. This is my version of a pat on the back i guess i could say.