May 11
I kinda of miss when it hurt so bad I couldn't think about anything else. I felt something true, something intense back then at least. And I didn't think about how I am in the wrong. It just hurt and I think the feeling absolved me. In the way that suffering can do
Now it's just a whole load of grey sameness. I guess it is all fine but sometimes I feel like I am nothing. I miss when it hurt because hurt is something. I can work with it. I can twist it to enjoy it, I've been known to do so. But I can't work with nothing
