Pull off my armor, knees bruised and naked
Peel back my skin, call out my name
tw bruises, police, body image
occurred: today, sept 16th
grace had no idea how long she’d been in this closet, all tied up. she hadn’t eaten a thing, though they did give her water every now and again before gagging her once more. and they would bring her to the bathroom once a day. how kind of them. she was pretty sure she was starting to hallucinate things, one time she could have sworn she had awoken in a field of sunflowers, the sun warm on her skin.
but no, she was still in a dark, damp closet, her hands and feet tied tight together with rope, tied to a pipe. she had grown so weak, she had given up fighting. it was clear her kidnappers wanted to punish her, but were they actually trying to kill her? she wasn’t sure. death wouldn’t be so bad at this point.
her body was so fucking tired. so fucking weak. her wrists and ankles burned from the rope. her throat was dry. her stomach felt concave with hunger. moving her arms or legs was painful. these two men had tortured her with their words, with their wandering hands on her body, with lack of food and water and lack of light. she was a shell of herself and she was starting to welcome death to her doorstep.
the closet door busted open and she expected her two kidnappers faces to come into view, but she saw policemen instead. which still wasn’t the most welcoming sight, but it was better than nothing. she didn’t move, didn’t even lift her head from the cold concrete floor. they removed her gag, cut the ropes that tied her, one of them picked her up. the police spoke to her, things were being yelled as the frat house was raided, but grace stayed silent.
there was nothing for her to say. she had been kidnapped and missing for... days? a week? and it felt like no one had been looking for her, no one had cared. had anyone cared? how had the police found her?
she now sat on the back of an ambulance, a blanket being wrapped around her. a female nurse kindly and carefully started to check her out. her eyes felt so heavy, she just wanted to sleep. curl up in a ball, under a blanket, and sleep.
she didn’t wanna talk. didn’t wanna think. everything and nothing hurt all at once.
"Oh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges
I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon
There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs
And if you wanna go to heaven you should
fuck me tonight."
evening of august 31st, downtown toronto, featuring anson.
bianca didn’t want to leave the hospital, not for a second, but her anxiety about if anson had anything else planned was truly weighing on her. she needed to do something as soon as possible. she needed to fix this. and she was going to fix this. even though her eyes were tired, her hair was lackluster and dull, and her body was sluggish, she needed to get the ball rolling on a solution.
she reluctantly left the hospital after texting anson and telling him to meet her down an alley that was within walking distance of the hospital. she did her best to fluff her hair as she walked down the sidewalk, wanting to not look so rough in front of anson. it wasn’t long until she was turning down the alleyway and she saw a car parked at the end of it. the driver’s side door opened and anson emerged. she slowly walked up to him, though she knew to let him talk first.
his evil grin spread across his lips as he cocked his head to the side and let his eyes graze over her from head to toe and back again, “so what’s up, bee?” she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes flickering to look behind him and see someone else was sitting in the car. a quiet warning that any misstep from her would not be tolerated. her eyes moved back to him and she took in a big breath before speaking, “what’s it gonna take for you to leave my friends alone?”
anson let out a laugh, “i shoulda known they were connected to you. you’ve really downgraded, huh? you could have me protecting you, but you got two scrawny weirdo’s instead.” her jaw clenched and she looked away, not liking listening to anson talk about them that way, but she knew she had to stay on his good side, so she said, “i didn’t tell them to go after you like that, alright? they did that without my knowledge. and i’m sorry. they shouldn’t have done that and they got the message, alright? they won’t try to mess with you again.”
he studied her for a moment before he smirked, “of course they won’t, that one dude might not even make it, right? that’s gotta be tough, but he came for me first. fair’s fair.” a lump formed in her throat and she swallowed it back thickly, raising her chin a bit, “so.. what’s it gonna take? for things to chill out.” anson took a moment, slowly inching forward toward her before reaching out and placing his hands on her upper arms. he ran his hands up and down, “be my arm candy. the guys know how much control i have over you, you’ll make me look even more powerful.”
bianca pressed her lips together in a straight line and looked away from him. she was slowly concocting a plan in her mind and that plan meant she had to say, “yes, yeah, okay. as long as I can still go to my classes and work, i’ll be your little arm candy.” she looked to him, looked him right in the eye, and he smiled, “good, glad to hear that. i’ll be in touch, my baby bee.” he squeezed her arms, a little harder than he should have, to let her know who was in control. he backed up before turning and heading back to his car.
she left the alleyway, heading back to the hospital. as she walked, a plan started to form in her mind. she needed to learn a few things from anson in order to bring him down: how deep did his connections with the police run and where was his hideaway, where he kept the drugs and probably a lot more. this was going to work. it had to. she was going to bring anson down for good. payback for all he had done to her, to eli, and to adam.
What? Bianca is looking for attention and her desire for affection gets the best of her. Unfortunately, the only man around is her auntie’s boyfriend.
Triggers? Mild Smut & Slight Abuse
Bianca had just gotten back from a dance class and basically collapsed on to her bed. Never mind being physically exhausted, her mental state was all over the place. She was trying to change, trying to be better, mostly for herself, but part of it was to show Eli that she was ready, she could handle it. But she had fallen back into taking her favorite kind of pill: Xanax. It made things seem better, feel better. It was all she had to make her feel okay. Reaching into her nightstand drawer, she grabbed a bar of Xanax and took half of it, dropping the other half back in the drawer and closing it.
Outside her closed bedroom door, she heard a man and a woman’s voice. She immediately knew it was Juliana and her boyfriend.
“I’m gonna run to the store to pick up some dinner, why don’t you just wait here and relax? You deserve it.” Juliana, of course. Suck up.
“Thanks, babe.” She heard the two kiss before hearing her auntie leave. There was a grunt and a thump, guessing that he sat himself down on the couch in the living room.
His name was Corey, maybe? Whatever it was, she didn’t care, she just wanted some attention. Getting up off her bed, she walked towards her door and opened it up. The sound made him look over and their eyes met. The brunette leaned against her bedroom doorframe, resting her head against it as her body formed sexy curves. She was still in her tight, spandex shorts, a tank top, and a zip up hoodie, so she knew she looked casually hot. With a seductive smirk and her eyes partially closed from the high of the pill she took, she eyed him, “Heard you needed to relax, that you deserve to relax.” The man stood up and sauntered over to her as she bit on her bottom lip, her eyes staying locked on his, “Oh yeah, care to help me?” His hands found her waist and she sighed, her body molding towards him, pressing tight against him. Her fingertips playfully climbed up his chest, “It’d be my pleasure.” The girl backed up into her room and he followed with eagerness, slamming her door behind him.
Then there were hands everywhere.
She needed this, she needed to feel wanted, even if he just wanted something from her rather than wanting her.
She could pretend, just like all the women in her family.
Her clothes were off and so were his and she was on top of him on her bed.
Skin against skin made her shiver and moan.
This was all she wanted.
She felt tears threaten to fall, a flash of Eli crossing her mind. The last time they kissed. That night had been everything she had wanted and nothing she had wanted all at the same time.
Snapping out of it, the girl climbed off of him and laid down on her stomach beside him, tugging him to get on top of her. The surprise and delight on his face would have been amusing to her if she wasn’t holding back tears. He positioned himself on top of her backside before shoving inside of her.
HIs strong hands gripped her skin all over, wandering and holding tightly as he thrust in and out of her. She grabbed on to the sheets below her, pressing her forehead down on a pillow and closing her eyes.
Bianca just pretended more. That this was the affection she longed for. That this was satisfying her every last desire. That his hands groping her body were hands that cared, hands that craved her. Just pretend. Always pretending.
When he was finished, he rolled off of her and started getting dressed, mentioning that Juliana would be back soon. Brushing her hair from her face, she slowly pushed herself up without a word, grabbing her clothes and pulling them on. She was attempting to tame her hair when Corey opened her bedroom door.. and Juliana walked through the front door of the apartment. The two women made eye contact and all she could do was give her a stone cold look, one she had learned from her mother. Juliana charged past her boyfriend and straight towards Bianca, screaming, “You whore! You have to take everything, don’t you?! Why don’t you just go stand on a street corner, at least that way you’ll make some money!” Her auntie was right in her face, but she herself was expressionless. Juliana had no idea how alike they were, no idea at all. Juliana’s face only grew more red, her eyes bulging, “Say something, you whore.” When Bianca still didn’t speak, Juliana stepped back before slapping the girl across the face. It didn’t surprise her and she just stood up straight once more, holding her cheek now, as Juliana pointed her finger, “Stay the fuck away from him or I will kick you out of here.” She swallowed thickly, giving the slightest of nods, which seemed to satisfy Juliana who left, dragging her boyfriend with her.
Something he realized quite early on in his new job was that he was only making half as much as what he was making at the mansion. That wasn't good enough. But he worked, he did as many hours as he could a week, exhausting himself each and every time. It was a relief for him, trying to focus on something else that wasn't Grace. That would only last minutes at a time, at most. The word 'no' still echoed in his ear every single day, reminding him why he was working such a shitty job, why he couldn't smile the way he used to. His sister noticed, his father noticed, but they never said anything. It was by the two month mark, after weeks of missing her and incredible chest pain whenever he wasn't sleeping, he realized just how badly his job was affecting the family. His dad had to start working more hours too, he never complained but Brooklyn had to stay at her friends house until six before his dad picked her up. The school trips became less, the food on the table became more about quantity than quality. It was noticeable. Dylan couldn't do anything though. He didn't do much anymore, he hadn't seen any of his friends. They all struggled but nobody as much as Dylan, standing in the shower and thinking about Grace's lips on his skin. Where she had touched him last, the way she held him as close as possible like she did care. The last kiss they had. Each time it made him break a little more, but he refused to cry. Refused the emotion whenever his eyes would prick with tears. It had to be a Saturday, or a Friday, he didn't really know. He worked throughout the day, quietly. Nobody had ever heard more than two words out of him but he didn't care. One of his co-workers, he couldn't remember his name, decided to take a lunch break. Dylan only took breaks to smoke or eat a sandwich packed by Brooklyn. He felt too guilty not to eat them.
But they were all eating outside, laying a new busy road that contained a lot of traffic. This guy was loud, showing something to the guy sitting next to him, talking about boobs. Dylan briefly looked over at them with an annoyed look on his face, a mouthful of sandwich in his mouth when he paused. They were reading a playboy magazine. Dylan didn't know if it was a new issue or not but he stopped chewing all the less, something swirling behind the dead look in his eyes. They were being arrogant and cocky, joking about having sex with the girls in the magazine, and he lost his appetite immediately. That night he couldn't help it. He showered and he was out of the door, mumbling something about not waiting up. He found a nice spot on the beach, surrounded by rocks and the sounds of the waves crashing, and he just drank. A piece of paper and a pen perched on his lap, a bottle of tequila wrapped in a paper bag resting next to his leg. He was writing, to her, and he was going to get it all out so he could try and move on. To forget, because fuck, it seemed like that was never possible. His shaky fingers wrote her name, Grace, and the paper stayed like that for an hour. He just kept taking sips out of the bottle, his head turning fogging and his chest flooding with warmth. He watched the waves crash for a while, blinking slowly until he finally decided what he wanted to tell her. He lifted the pen to the piece of paper and scribbled, in the messiest barely readable writing, you broke me. A small sob came from his lips, his brain not refusing it this time, and he cried the way he should have. All aching bones, red eyes, a constant rush of tears running down his cheeks. When he made it home, drunk and heart broken, he collapsed into his dad's arms.
The brunette had cleaned up the floor, getting all the watermelon back on the tray and finding a rag in her small bathroom to wash up the floor. It was hard to do with handcuffs on her hands, but she didn't want to get into any trouble. She wasn't doing a very good job at getting on his good side, she just seemed to be fucking up every thing she could and losing more of her chances at finding a way out. After what seemed like forever, the man came back to her and she looked at him with a bit of fear. He had her phone in his hand, the screen now glowing, which meant he had charged it. She was confused as to what he was doing, but he didn't say a word, he simply began pressing a few buttons on her phone before Drew's voice came through loud and clear and Bianca choked up. He had left her voicemail after voicemail. Her mouth dropped open and she whispered out, "Drew..." This man was doing this to hurt her, to torture her and he was doing one hell of a job. She felt her throat closing up, her eyes burning with tears, her mouth drying, her stomach churning and causing bile to rise in her throat. But the brunette was stronger than that, she held it all back as he played each voicemail, there were three of them at the moment. "I need my wife, I know I get angry but it's only out of love. I need you more then I need air or the sun damn it, you are my everything and I love you. I love you more then anything in the world... just please come home." She shook her head, able to hear the beginning of how her disappearance had broken him and she thought to herself, 'I love you, too. Please hold on.' The second voicemail began and he sounded worse than before, but she held it all in as she listened, closing her eyes as she felt her kidnapper's eyes on her. "If you can even hear this, I am going to find you. I promise, superman's here baby and he won't stop until you are safe in my arms or until I get to show you just how much I love you..." She kept her eyes closed, it was easier to keep the tears at bay as her heart felt as if it were seriously breaking, "I love you my little love bug." She bit her bottom lip, letting his words and his voice echo in her mind, but she was answering every word he spoke with an 'I love you' in her mind. The third voicemail began and he sounded so broken and tired and she just wanted to stroke his hair and tell him to get some sleep, that she'd hold him and never let go. "I can't do this tiny dancer, I can't live without you, I need you to stay strong where ever you are for me please. Baby you are the light of my life and there is no life without you. I'm sorry I ever called any other girl beautiful, or thought they are hot. You are beautiful, and you are hot to me, you are all that ever will matter. Please baby please come home to me. I don't want to hear the words that my wife will never come home to me." At his last words, she couldn't stop a sob from wracking her body as she hunched over and hung her head, letting her tears fall. The man beside her simply stood, "You don't need him, Bee. I'll always protect you. He's nothing now." Her teeth clenched but she shook her head, just listening to his footsteps as he left her there alone. Bianca laid down in bed and curled up, finding new tears now as she broke down, whispering out to Drew even though he could never hear her.
Getting into her car, she drove to Vince's place, not scared in the least. She actually wasn't really feeling a thing in the moment, she just wanted to feel pain, feel the pain she'd put others through lately. Parking outside his house, she got out and walked to the front door, not even knocking before it opened and Vince gripped her upper arm and pulled her inside. Not a single word fell from Bianca's lips as he shoved her up against the wall hard, not even a whimper. His hand closed around her neck and she stared at him with dull eyes, noticing the venom in his. Bianca was starting to lose the ability to breathe as he held her throat tighter and tighter, but she didn't fight back. When he finally let go, she couldn't help but gasp for air as he began finally yelling at her. It was like she had gone deaf, she saw the way he spit because he was yelling so angrily, but not a word made it to her ears. The world had fallen around her and she just sat back and watched. When he had finished his rant, his fist came slamming into her stomach, knocking the air out of her and causing her to hunch over. Instead of pain, Bianca enjoyed the feeling, smirking to herself as he spit by her feet and then walked away from her. When she had caught her breath, she stood up straight and slowly walked out of the house.
It wasn't enough, the large bruise forming on her stomach wasn't enough and she craved more. Bianca got into her car and sped off, not sure where she was going, but she ended up by the tracks. She stared at them from her car for a moment, thinking of Colin as her eyes grazed over the emptiness in front of her. Getting out of her car, it was like she wasn't controlling herself any longer and her feet moved on their on, moving her towards the tracks. Without another thought, she laid down on them and stared up at the sky. Her heart should have been racing, she should have been scared that a train could come at any moment, but she wasn't and that was probably the scariest part of all. As she laid there, she thought of Colin, of Craig, of Tayy. If she was gone, would it really be so bad? They'd move on, they'd be better. Happier without her. Suddenly she felt the tracks beginning to shake and rattle beneath her and something other than herself told her to get up. It was like there was a tugging on her arm and suddenly she shot up and ran from the tracks before the train came rushing by her. Bianca stood there, breathing heavily and finally feeling alive, finally feeling adrenaline rushing through her and her heart beating hard against her ribcage. She hadn't felt this in a while and she wasn't sure if she should be excited or frightened.
