Getting By
It felt like they kissed for years and still Grace couldn’t get enough, still couldn’t stop touching him, running her tongue over his until her brain was swirling in sick circles. She never wanted to let go of him. When Dylan finally pulled back Grace realized she really needed some air, taking a quick breath in relief and looking up to meet his eyes. She couldn’t help but grin up at him when he spoke. They were somewhere between being lost and finding somewhere to land and for once, Grace really had hope for them. But that didn’t make this easy. Especially not when Dylan spoke, leaving Grace shaking her head and leaning up to press a kiss to his chin. “I know.” she assured him, wishing they could have an easy life, an easy relationship. If that was even what it would be. After all, it would be filled with late nights and sneaking out in the morning like teenagers, they couldn’t tell anybody. On the other hand Grace couldn’t think of anyone else she wanted to be with. Frowning a little when Dylan broke their silence, Grace nodded reluctantly and leaned back into his touch, letting out a long sigh. He was right, they needed to talk about things. They needed a game plan if they were gonna try this for real, try being together.
Tracing over his jaw with her fingertips, Grace took a few beats of silence before she tried to say out loud what she was thinking. “Yeah, we should.” she sighed, looking up to meet his gaze. “I don’t know what we’re gonna do.” Grace told him honestly, pursing her lips while she looked over his expression. They were sort of helpless, really, but she couldn’t live without him. She’d already tried and she couldn’t do it. “But.. I wanna be with you. It’s worth it. It is to me.” Grace told him, her whisper practically echoing through the silent closet. Stroking her fingers down his cheek and resting her hand just under his chin, Grace smiled sadly and pressed another kiss to his lips just to remind herself that she couldn’t. “I just don’t know how we do that.” she sighed heavily, dropping both hands to his chest. “I mean, do we just.. sneak around?” she asked. It didn’t sound all that romantic, seeing each other being everyone else’s backs. But what other choice did they have? Grace couldn’t stop being Hef’s girlfriend because he took care of her financially. Sure, she knew there was no way she could stay there forever, once she started to get older Hef would replace her in a heartbeat. But for right now she didn’t have anywhere to go, didn’t have another place to stay. She needed to at least do a few more shoots and save up if she was going to find somewhere, and after that she wasn’t sure. Waitressing for the rest of her life? And Dylan, he needed his job, his family needed his job. They were stuck, and all they could do was keep everything quiet. Even though every time Grace saw him from the other side of the room she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs that she loved him. “What if someone finds out? What if I’m the reason you lose your job? Are you willing to risk that?” Grace asked him, afraid of the answer.
It was good time as any to talk about their future while they were pressed together in a closet but they really didn’t have any other options, everything else had to be planned, they were allowed to be spontaneous for a little while longer. They could figure something out, they had to, there had to be a way. Dylan wanted it to work out so bad and he didn’t know how it would turn out in the end but as long as he knew he took the risk and did what he wanted to do, he wouldn’t regret a thing. “I want to be with you.” he said through a small sigh, listening to Grace tell him it was worth it. He felt the same, and as long as they were on the same page and had each other’s backs, he was pretty sure they would be okay. They would have to sneak around, text and plan things when no one else was awake, set a lot of alarms so they wouldn’t be caught in the same bed, maybe even run a few errands together during the week. After all, she still didn’t know how to drive. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t sound all that bad, and as he watched Grace’s eyes looking at him for answers, he felt his features soften and spread into a smile. She loved him. She wanted it to work just as much as he did. “Of course I am.” he said, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. “I can find work anywhere, even if the pay isn’t as good. But there’s not another Grace Holden out there.” he said pointedly, smirking a little with an after thought. “I mean there’s a few obviously but let’s be honest, they’re probably not as great.” he said quietly, ruining whatever serious and deep discussion they were in by breaking out into a grin.
So typical of him to break a moment like that but it was worth it to see Grace relax a little, after all, they were doing it to be happy. If the stress was going to be too much for Grace then he would back out, it wouldn’t be worth it if she wasn’t at least glad about it. But they could find a way, he was sure of it. Releasing his teeth from his bottom lip, he kissed her just as softly as she did, pulling back to look at her just a few inches away. “I want this, no matter what the risk is okay? I love you and I just-” he paused to swallow, realizing that was the second time he had ever said that. It was a lot different that time, took his breath away for a different reason. That was enough to convince him that it would be worth every second of sneaking around and spending time with each other, she still affected him after months apart. “I can’t not be with you anymore.” he said when he regained his ability to talk. At that point all he could do was stoke his thumb across her cheek and hope that she understand that she really meant the world to him, that it was worth anything as long as they could be together. Sure, if he did get fired things would be hard but definitely not on the same scale as not being with Grace. It was probably a good idea to start saving money just in case anything went wrong, in case they were caught out. Dylan didn’t know what would happen to Grace but if it came to the crunch, he knew he would take the blame for it. It would be easier and more believable that way. His hand eventually dropped from her cheek and he kept his arms wrapped behind her back, holding onto his forearm. “You actually love me, huh?” he asked in a barely there voice, his eyes full of happiness.