#selfshippinh

[presidentpoppy]

dont worry about it

[dapper-ships-herself]

Chuuya has a complicated relationship with his birthday.

(I believe that his "birthday" is more like the day he woke up without his memories, since like he wouldn't know anything about his past to know his actual birthday.)

Spoilers for Chuuya's past.

---

The cork came out of the bottle with a soft pop, and the dark red wine flowed in a steady stream to Chuuya's empty wine glass.

He took a deep swig, setting the glass on his table with a clink. His home was mostly dark, save for the moonlight coming in through the glass. He'd thrown himself into his work today, trying to keep too preoccupied to think about the day's date and it's meaning.

It's been fifteen years already, fifteen years to the very day since he woke up memoryless, lost, angry, confused, surrounded by destruction with Arahabaki clinging to his very essence like a twisted parasite.

It's been a long road since then, and while he no longer sees himself as something completely inhuman, there were still days he doubted himself. He still had so many questions, of where he came from, what he had been like before, and how much of himself was really him now? If Arahabaki was somehow removed for him, what would he be? To name only a few.

His "birthdays" usually ended like this, him drinking by himself in his home, thinking and wondering and pondering. He tried some years to go out and party to try and feel something on this day, but no matter how late he stayed out, he always found himself back here, alone.

Sorrow already spoiled

Never hopes or wishes anything

He couldn't remember where he read that poem, but it seemed fitting.

He picked up the bottle of wine again, his cheeks already flushed from his first glass, but there was a knock on his door before he could even pull the cork out.

His guard rose; being such a high ranking mafia meant he hardly ever got any unplanned house gets that meant anything good. Most people had no idea where he even lived in the first place. Before his mind could go through too many rabbit holes, he got a call.

"Knock knock knock, Chu-baby~ Care to let me in?"

He let out a breath, shoulders relaxing, and mentally berated himself for getting so paranoid there.

"Yeah, one sec."

Gillian beamed at him when he swung open the door, and he couldn't help but smile right back at her.

"Hey, chu-baby~ I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, I was only having a drink; come on in." He stood to the side and beckoned her forward, to which she skipped through the doorway and his slightly clouded mind noticed for the first time that she was wearing a satchel slung across her chest.

He closed the door and turned to face her. His hands almost unconsciously settled on either side of her waist and leaned in to give her a soft kiss.

Taking their relationship the step forward into romance was still a fairly new development. There'd been several obstacles in the way, namely their opposite allegiances, but neither could stay away from the other. It was almost comical how resistant he'd been to even her attempts at friendship at every turn when they first met, and now it was like he couldn't remember how he'd even breathed before he met her.

He pulled back to look at her, hands still on her. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Did you not get my text earlier?"

"Huh? Oh, I had my personal phone shut off most of the day." He dug in to his pocket to grab his phone and look at the messenger. He hadn't even thought to look, so intent to keep distracted, but sure enough an unread text waited for him.

Gillian💜: "Morning, birthday boy~ I've got a lot to do today, but I hope I can see you tonight!"

She sighed "Honestly, you had me a bit worried today, going so long without responding; you're lucky you're so cute, mister."

He only continued to blink at his screen. "How... did you know what today is?"

"You told me like a month ago, remember? Eh, I guess you were pretty drunk, so I'm not surprised if you did forget that."

"Oh." Damn, now that she mentioned it, he did have a fuzzy memory of something like that.

"mhm, and like the amazing girlfriend I am, I brought you some things." She took his hand and lead him over to his couch, gently pushing him to take a seat. She plopped next to him and began riffling around in her satchel.

"Look, I wasn't really-" planning on celebrating today, he was going to say, before he had something placed on his head, a thin strap tucked under his chin. He reached up to feel what it was. "A party hat? Really?"

Gillian giggled "You look so adorable, Chu-tan~"

"What, am I turning eight?" His trepidation was almost forgotten amongst her ridiculousness.

"Hey, you're never too old to wear a party hat." She turned back to her bag and pulled out her next item, which turned out to be a small box that opened to reveal a miniature cake. "So, I wasn't sure what kind of cake is your favorite, so I thought of something that seemed kind of like elegant, and decided on a German chocolate cake. The frosting is chocolate too. What do you think? I tried to have some fun with the decorating while also keeping it classy, because you're a classy boy."

"Hold on, did you make this yourself?" He stared at the cake in disbelief.

"Sure did, totally from scratch, too." She smiled proudly. "I'm no professional, but I think I'm pretty good still. Oh! I picked up some candles too, hold on."

Chuuya stopped her with a hand over hers before she could reach back into the bag. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"why are you doing this?"

"why?"

"why are you going out of your way to celebrate a day that's not even my real birthday, why... why would you celebrate me like this?"

She turned her body to fully face him, turning the hand he had a hold on to interlock their fingers, picking up and doing the same with the other and holding both up between them. "Because, I care about you, Chuuya. I know you have some pretty complicated feelings in regards to your past, but your origins change nothing about the way I see you. My kind, loyal, loving, dependable, strong, wonderful Chuuya." She kissed the knuckles of both of his hands." So why wouldn't I want to go out of my way to show you how much I appreciate you today? Especially since I knew you'd be spending it getting wine drunk if left to your own devices."

Chuuya was at a complete loss for words, starring in to Gillian's clear and earnest eyes. Sudden enough to elicit a squeak of surprise from her, he practically dove forward to envelope her in his arms and hold her tight against him, his nose buried in the crook of her neck. "Thank you." There were so many things he wanted to say right now, feelings that got clogged in his throat; he hoped she could hear at least some of them in those two words.

And judging by the way she wound her arms around him in return and squeezed warmly, she could. "Of course, Chuuya."

They stayed like that for a while, soaking in the comfort of each other. Gillian at some point disentangled herself enough to lean back and press their foreheads together. "I still have one more thing with me today."

"And what would that be?"

"Your present, of course~" she reached over to fish in her bag to pull out a small velvet bag tied with a draw string, something round sat heavily within it.

She handed it to him with an eager smile, and he slowly tugged on the opening and pulled it what was inside.

A glass ball, and inside floated a small arrangement of preserved flowers.

"they're sakurasou. Have you ever heard of what they mean?" When he shook his head, she elaborated. "Long lasting love. And these ones are preserved for eternity, the same way our love will last forever as well. What do you think? They're pretty right."

He smiled, running his thumbs over the surface of the glass. "Beautiful." He placed the ball gently on the table, making sure it won't roll, and turned to guide Gillian's face to his.

She pulled back sooner than he wanted. "ah, the cake, it's going to get stale." She pouted.

He chuckled "It will be fine for a minute. Besides, I've got my sights on something even sweeter."

Their lips locked together, moving and dancing in sync. Chuuya leaned in, bracing himself over Gillian. "Happy birthday, Chuuya." She whispered in their shared breath. "Have you thought of a wish yet?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what I want." To never spend another birthday alone again, to always have Gillian by his side forever.

[kakushusband]

i love you more and more with each passing day 💖