In response to #SendForgivenessViral
I’ve seen a video float around Facebook from a segment by The Project about bigotry stemming from fearfulness. Instead of being angry when someone says a racist comment, the video calls for us to stop perpetuating the cycle of fear by being empathetic to bigots. It sounds nice and frames it in a way that makes us the ‘more tolerant ones’. But if we step back for a moment, there is really no justification for hate speech, discrimination or any form of abuse. It’s not hard to understand that someone is acting out of fear when they are violent or racist, but how does it make that act okay?
Perpetrators of hate speech already hold a false sense of victimhood which is self-imposed and self-serving. People who are asking for the deportation or internment of a group of people may be ‘scared’, but of what? It’s a position of privilege to feel that you are available to have those kinds of options of safety where you have the power to remove or incarcerate someone for their race or religion. Victims of discrimination do not have that luxury - you are always ‘coloured’. Being tolerant towards acts of hate and hate speech, because we assume that those people are simply ‘afraid’, problematically glosses over institutional and systemic racism.
Victims have consistently been told to ‘forgive’ their abusers, but it should never be asked of the victim to forgive and forget. Especially when the person who performed the hate has not asked for it themselves.
Victims have always been forced into the role of ‘the tolerant educator’, but this returns the burden of maintaining safety onto the victim. Asking someone who is on fire ‘how can I do better?’ doesn’t elevate the pain and is incredibly draining (although most people who perform hate speech are not interested in helping the people they are discriminating against and are often unapologetic).
Calling out people who say terrible things and hold terrible opinions is important. This is the thing I most appreciate from my friends - otherwise I’m forced to maintain my own safety alone.
We can change toxic behaviour by standing up and calling it out. We will perpetuate a cycle of fear if we say that these things are tolerable. We need to stand together and continue communicating that hate - even when derived from fear - is inexcusable. It’s not enough to be not-racist, we must act in anti-racist manners. When we stand up, we do it out of compassion for those who are being oppressed and discriminated against. This was never a fair fight to begin with - it means a lot simply to not stand down.