A Letter
Kristi,
I feel like everything was so much easier when you were around. You come to mind at least twice every four days so it’s a wonder it has taken this long to write. Our relationship was one of the most consistent and productive relationships I’d had and I find myself reflecting on the nature of it. It didn’t cross my mind until I left our last meeting but I wanted to say “I love you.” I made a resolution to write a letter and leave it for your but that… well, that didn’t happen.
I brag about you. It’s funny because I was so sure it wasn’t gonna work. Listening to you on the phone, I got so damn agitated. I remember feeling scorned or like I’d been given the cold shoulder. You were just so sure of yourself. Maybe it’s because I expected a tender and pitying? response… Nope. And thank you, dear Baby Jesus.
I can now recognize and admire the confidence conveyed by your tone, your voice. Recently, I’ve been at the writing game, or at least trying to play, and it requires a lot of mindfulness; writing in my voice, using my words. Maybe it seems closer to the Truth to use Our in ves de “my.” It’s a spiritual thing.
I’ve been specifically toying with this idea of letter writing. This came about after I found myself writing my blog and tuning it to what I thought my readers would want; I did not approve. Took a break from the blog and took up the challenge of writing Dr. _____ to reconnect and solicit funds to travel without kissing his ass. I’m happy to say he responded positively!
About the blog, I started in in conjunction with a crowdfunding project, and it has been a good excuse to write. The crowdfunding is to help fund my travels but I feel that I need to do something more; to have a project. I like the idea of selling letters. I’ve yet to decide how to do it but I’m sure I’ll try selling this one. My friend has suggested I compile a book of letters.
I’ve been in Bangkok, Thailand for the majority of the past four months. I’ve been here since leaving India at the end of July, trying to physically, mentally, and emotionally recover. From depression. From diarrhea. From ear infections I didn’t know I had until the change in cabin pressure alerted me to it. The place I’ve been staying and working is called __________, and is one of the strangest and most temperamental places I’ve ever known. It has been a safe haven for so many since I’ve been here and is a good place to recover; it holds you. Which can be dangerous, if you catch my drift.
I’m leaving soon to Cambodia, excited to get away. I’ve been awaiting Opportunity, and they only just presented themselves when I decided it was time to leave. I’m intent on returning. Want to take a writing course and join a writers group and find a job ot set me up to start paying my loans in May. I have high hopes. Faith.
This letter has not been an attempt to solicit funds and there are no expectations for any reciprocations in communications. But if you desire to do so, send me a note or an email. I’d love to here from you. You’ll find my contacts below.
Stay fabulous,
Johnathan
BTW, the way my name is pronounced back home is like a double “a” in Hindi (Jaan) and means “life” or “lover”. Bwahahahaha