so i was on the bus going home after my choir rehearsal and i wanted to pass the time so i started writing. i zoned out for quite a bit and woke up to three pages in my notes being filled about my crush. i need to know whatever i was on cause i need to take that shit again. (note under the cut)
listen up you little pricks (respectfully). do you know how hard it is to have a crush on your best friend? specifically one that just siblingzoned you, and the crush of EVERYONE? well i do. unfortunately. and it hurts so BAD. im 101% percent sure that she knows i like her, but she hasn't spoken up about it yet. im distancing myself a bit from her for a while in hopes that ill either lose feelings or that the suspicion i like her disappears. the worst thing? everyone ships me with her. since im always found walking with her, my classmates took that and rolled with it. i have to act so nonchalant whenever our ship name is screamed out so that it isnt obvious i like her. but i lwk think its too late for that because one of my friends said its obvious enough. but i cant help it man, imagine having a best friend THAT perfect. shes so beautiful, talented, athletic, smart, funny, kind...shes the epitome of golden. and you know whats funny? ive had one rule since forever and its "never fall in love with a basketball/soccer/volleyball player" guess what. shes a basketball AND volleyball player. i knew i was doomed when i found myself noticing all her little habits. the way she tilts her head to the right whenever she listens to someone, the way she holds her pen when shes done writing something, the way her eyebrows furrow whenever shes focused... shes everything but she probably thinks im nothing 😂💔 she has so many other people falling for her, but i truly think im the only one whos fallen in love this deep for her. gosh. i love the way she can carry me with ease. i love the way she puts her arm around my shoulder whenever we walk together. i love the way she whispers in my ear when she needs to say something private. i love the way her hair turns light brown under the sun. i once saw her during golden hour and i swear i felt my heart skip a beat. i love the way her eyes crinkle whenever she smiles. shes so radiant, sometimes i wonder why i have the blessing of just being with her. she matches my frequency so well too. i even started treating my hands better because i saw hers and thought "her hands are so perfect if i take better care of mine will she notice?". i started watching more minecraft args just so she'll talk to me more. its okay, i can wait a whole eternity for her. no matter how much disinterest she shows in me, i dont think this crush of mine will ever disappear.
a/n- never zone out on the bus ive learned this the hard way