#seriouslyineedhelp

[finiffy]

Gears just standing there for 30 mins watching this short blond gremlin attempting to slap his head

Let Ukulele slap Gears's bald head!

[blagorodnic]

"what do you do for fun?"

well y'know... listen to music, read, daydream about the 6 alternate realities I made up in my head because I want to escape the infinite despair the real world brings me, draw. just the usual.

[finiffy]

I’m sorry just… the most plausible scenario I could think of why gears would be a sugar daddy in the first place is rights telling him he should live a little, get a few more friends, maybe a romantic partner…

so gears goes “oh ok” then instantly turns around and starts throwing money at his assistant because “Dr. Rights said i should get a romantic partner, if I pay you will you be mine”, meanwhile Ice is just Standing There like 🧍‍♂️

Help help this is so funny?? Gears buddy....I love you so much, you are an idiot, a sugar daddy idiot

[finiffy]

I’m sorry but implying that Crow got somebody to kiss him,,, Gears wakes up in the middle of the night to Crow Three Inches from his face sitting on his chest and it’s a good thing he doesn’t have a startle reflex because Crow would’ve been launched across the room if he did.

“how did you get in here”

“picked the lock. Charles I need you to kiss me”

iceberg is literally just sleeping through this conversation right next to Gears. It doesn’t work and Crow is like “god dammit” before storming out. He does not close the door

YES! This is exactly how I imagined how this went! Crow just going straight to Gears and demanding to be kissed and just walks away once he sees he is still a dog

[finiffy]

Somebody attempts to kidnap Charles once (1). He comes back 30 minutes later with no less than 2 eldritch horrors accompanying him. The kidnapper has to be put in a mental hospital

One of the o5s who taught him self defense going," See! Street smarts! And you people thought that it was a stupid teaching him that."

[finiffy]

They have 3 weddings. One for each of them

You know what fair enough...they are even all specifically themed for each one of them....a stupid hawaiian one where they both get ceremonial swords as they duel, an all black wedding with 'Welcome to the Black Parade' playing, and garden wedding (thank god Francis is fucking normal in this one)

[finiffy]

The o5’s reasoning to why they’re so excited about the second wedding compared to the first is because “well you were only a child back then it wasn’t that important (like getting married on the playground at 8) and now you’re older (like getting a bf at 14) so it’s more serious” and Gears is just sitting here like “I had a whole ass child during that marriage what the hell are you on about”

ADSHDJFD

I am absolutely obsessed with the minds of the long lifespan o5s. Them treating his first marriage like how little kids play house on the playground is so fucking funny

[finiffy]

Alison listens to her mother instead of father because “dad that’s weird as hell”. Gears, feeling confused because that was decidedly not what happened in his childhood, phones O5-7 about this. 7 just says “I understand” at the end and hangs up. Later that night, an eldritch abomination crawls through Alison’s window, retrieves the teeth from under her pillow, and puts $5000 in its place because “that is the amount of money a normal human child would expect to be given when doing a deal with the Fae using their teeth, yes?”

The tooth fairy is real and their name is Teeth

Could you imagine the morning after just...Alison going to her parents that she saw the tooth fairy and had given her money...yeah Gears's wife is staring at Gears at why the hell he gave their daughter thousands of dollars