#serpentshen

[amortean]

@serpentshen replied to your post

❛ there’s another cop? ❜ he asks trying to fight the smirk tugging on his lips.

“you underestimate how irresistible they find me when I slash their tires.”

[amortean]

serpentshen replied to your post

❛ – um … before i take the bottle, why don’t you share? ❜

“... because it’s cinnamon.                     and it burns. a lot.”

[amortean]

serpentshen replied to your post:

❛ heh, looks good on you. ❜

“I—” crinkles her nose, tugging up her scarf. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

[amortean]

Ship: Sheila & Wei

awww yeeeaaah *____*

serpentshen // armsxmaster whichever account you’re on!!!

Gives nose/forehead kisses: ShEILA……… she does that quite often actually b/c it’s one of the primary ways she shows affection…. :’|

Gets jealous the most: uh… UH…. uhhhh…. i was about to say neither because i know Wei shags like four or five different ladies through the course of sleeping dogs but then i remembered he WAS actually kinda jealous about tiffany so WEI I GUESS (in fact i can easily imagine him getting agitated over sheila not being jealous like “so… what… are you saying you don’t care about me??” and fuck i know they’re gonna argue about it)

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: …. wei. in fact i’m sure he can’t help himself cracking some joke about sheila getting picked up by the police and then she tries to swing a punch at him and then hunches over and starts vomiting. 

Takes care of on sick days: idk wei doesn’t strike me as someone who gets sick often and even if he DOES catch a cold or the flu, he’s pretty self-sufficient. that just leaves sheila who is barely functional on a good day so…. wei, i suppose o 3o

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: man sheila can’t really go to a beach with her fucked up neck and her legs so idk i feel like wei would REALLY HAVE TO DRAG HER TO THE BEACH…. AND PROBABLY INTO THE WATER…. until she throws a fit because she can’t swim >:T

Gives unprompted massages: wwwwwwwei yeah wei

Drives/rides shotgun: laughs a lot kjsdgsdf wei drives…. wei definitely drives….. sheila grips the dashboard in unrelenting terror the entire time (and he laughs at her)

Brings the other lunch at work: uhHHHHHH i don’t think sheila can bring him lunch directly without blowing his cover but she CAN leave shit at random drop locations where she knows he’ll find it. (that’s fuckin qt actually IMAGINE HER LEAVING HIM NOTES….. OR LIKE… A SCAVENGER HUNT huehueueueh)

Has the better parental relationship: sheila & her mom yup yup.

Tries to start role-playing in bed: …. i feel like if they ever did this it was because one of them took a joke way too far. honestly.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: …. iirc wei is a p good singer, but dancing? … … shit he’s probably GOOD AT IT TOO sheila is pretty good as well. i guess neither of them are embarrassingly drunk dancers lmao.

Still cries watching Titanic: sheila but only if it’s That Time of the Month

Firmly believes in couples costumes: ………. sheila.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas:  fuck—wei, probably, since he’s the only one with a real income

Makes the other eat breakfast: mmmMMMMM sheila i guess i noticed that wei REALLY gets involved in his work and i wouldn’t be surprised if he skimps breakfast. sheila probably gets after him about it but yeah i don’t know if he actually listens to her…… hence….. LEAVING FOOD AT RANDOM DROP LOCATIONS

Remembers anniversaries: uhhhhhhhhhh

Brings up having kids: SHEILA’S MOM……… honestly. you know the first time he meets sheila’s mom she’d just be like “GRANDCHILDREN WHEN???? ” and it’s….. terribly awkward for him & sheila.  idk I REALLY CAN’T IMAGINE THEM EVER DISCUSSING FAMILY PLANNING UNLESS SHEILA FINDS HERSELF PREGNANT AND SHE’S LIKE “……………… SHIT.”

[amortean]

serpentshen replied to your post:my ass hurts

*chokes on coffee*

......

all men are the same

[amortean]

serpentshen replied to your post:❛ you make it a habit of stealin' peoples'...

❛ … ❜ it takes him a moment to realize they’re talking about two completely different things. ❛ you stole someone’s wallet? ❜

“no,” she deadpans, thumbing through the five-, ten-, and twenty-dollar bills inside the cash compartment of the wallet she may or may not have lifted off a pedestrian. “Why would I ever do that.”

[amortean]

❛ you make it a habit of stealin' peoples' hard-earned money? ❜

“My answer entirely depends on what you plan to do to me.”

This definitely isn’t her wallet (she obviously isn’t a 47 year-old man named Gregory Wallace, as is plainly visible on the driver’s license tucked inside), but…. well. Maybe she’s holding it for a friend.

[agentericaevans]

serpentshen dinglehxpper glacialisms she-swallowed-a-star

       ❝ Do you recognize this man at all? ❞