sorry for this sam, but i still have not let that matchmaking thing go where you paired me with Sev, so i have thots:
i haven't played RepComm but from what i've seen he's kind of grim and a little intense, so here i am thinking about him being all like nervous around you, but it coming off like he's standoffish, because every time you compliment him or say something nice he gets this dopey grin on his face that he has to immediately squash down and it comes out more like a grimace. but i just know he makes the sweetest sounds. he whines and not even shy either, because if he trusts you enough to be vulnerable and intimate with you, he's going all in. also he has a massive praise kink, because he needs some sweetness in his life. 😌
Liz, my love! 🥺 Why are you apologising!? This made my heart hurt in the best way; you're so completely right about all of this. Are we here for some soft Sev hours? I definitely think he deserves it, for all that bloodlust and insanity!
(Just a tiny bit of NSFW and a whole lot of ✨feelings✨ after the cut.)
Here’s the thing about Sev though: he puts it on. He knows he does.
Every time he shoots a Geonosian ravager point-blank, spraying himself and his brothers in foul yellow viscera, he knows his options are limited. He could feign bravado like Boss, embodying that eldest-brother pride and sense of duty that’s recently started to feel just a little brittle around the edges. He could just shut down, turn droid-cold, like Fixer. Poor guy’s been getting back from missions to sit wordless and stiff in his rack, bucket still on. He’s begun to worry about him.
But his biggest cause for concern is his youngest brother. He’s seen the nervous, mindless babbling that Scorch relies on to get through the more gruesome campaigns. Scorch’s jokes had begun to sound close to manic. Nobody else seemed concerned — or, at least, as though they had room to act on those concerns. Sev’s never been the best with words. He gets it out in training, or on missions. It’s easier to find clarity in brutality. But his when his first dark, shaky efforts at levity seemed to shock Scorch into movement, he felt like it might be worth it.
And ever since then, he’s taken it upon himself to carry that edge of fucked-up-ness for all of their sakes. He doesn’t mind being psycho, unrockable Sev as long as it makes them feel better about their own conflicted feelings in the heat of a fight. He doesn’t mind the ribbing from Scorch when he seems to enjoy a kill just that little bit too much. It’s better than seeing his little brother’s hands shaking too hard to reload his anti-armours. In his own way, it’s as much an outlet for that terror for him as it is for the rest of the squad.
All of this takes its toll though. When he’s finally sitting alone with you in the quiet, he lets it all slip away. It’s hard to be hard. He sometimes doesn’t know if he’s still pretending. Maybe he isn’t a good man anymore, if he ever really was one. This is why it means so much when you remind him. Because surely only a good man would get to feel your fingertips on his jaw, softly feeling the tension ease as you kiss him, light and delicate. Only a good man would get to hear you whispering to him in the dim, telling him how gentle his hands feel on your body, how careful he always is with you, how safe he makes you feel… promising him that he's safe, when he’s with you.
When you wrap your arms around him and hold his head close in the space between your breasts, it’s one of the only times he lets himself become truly soft. Your fingers in his hair, your lips against his forehead, he can simply allow himself to be loved. When he finally feels the heat of your body sinking down around him, he doesn’t even try to hold back his whimper. He needs you to tell him how good he makes you feel, because there isn't enough goodness in his life.
It's why he takes such a long time with you; so slow as he works you higher, kissing lazily at the place inside your knee even as he curls his fingers inside you. He wants to be soaked in you, until you're gasping his name — his name — creating something between the two of you that feels so good and right and safe.
In these moments, his hands are washed clean of all the blood he’s ever spilled.
