The Best of Her Ch. 2 - Helly R/Helena Eagan x f!Reader
Summary: You return to the severed floor, and dodging Lumon's camera and security are the least of your worries.
A/N: Here is part 2! It's Helly's pov. I didn't really proofread so read at your own caution lol. I did have a part 3 in mind so let me know if that's something you would like.
Helly hadn’t stopped thinking about (y/n). She wondered if Helena knew Helly had met (y/n).
Lumon had cameras everywhere, Helena had to have known.
Which would make it impossible for (y/n) to sneak back in.
But (y/n) would find a way.
At least Helly hoped she would.
Helly’s mind was a tornado of thoughts and feelings. Meeting (y/n) felt like….well Helly couldn’t really name the feeling. She had never met this person and yet immediately felt comfortable around her.
Helly didn’t trust easily and yet she didn’t doubt (y/n)’s words.
It bothered her how out of control she felt.
A reminder that she was not in full control of herself.
The more Helly thought of (y/n) the less she understood why Helena would leave (y/n) for Mark.
Sure Helly had feelings for Mark, which were also so new and confusing to her, but anyone with eyes could see (y/n) was something special.
Helly looked at the computer screen. The numbers stared blankly at her.
She sighed.
Helly really wanted to see (y/n) again.
-
After a few days Helly's hope of seeing (y/n) again started to wane, and the thought of never seeing (y/n) again made Helly’s stomach twist into knots.
Helly had thought of so many questions to ask her. Questions about Helena, Lumon, the outside world, and about (y/n) herself.
She wanted to know everything about (y/n).
Now she wasn’t sure she would ever get the chance to.
So Helly turned her focus back onto Mark.
He looked up from his work and at Helly. He smiled.
Helly returned the smile, but hers lacked Mark’s warmth.
She wondered how she could miss someone she had never known.
But her body knew (y/n). Her soul knew (y/n) even if her mind didn’t.
Helly slumped in her desk chair and stared up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling hoping to rid her mind of images of (y/n).
-
A week later, as Helly rounded the corner towards the break room, she bumped into the very person she’d been hoping to see again.
Helly stepped back, ready to apologize when she looked at who she had bumped into.
It was (y/n).
(y/n) beamed at Helly.
Helly’s heart started to beat faster. Blood rushing to her face at the sight of (y/n) before her.
“I found you,” (y/n) breathed.
A thin sheen of sweat beaded on (y/n)’s forehead. Her breathing evened as she caught her breath.
“How are you here,” Helly asked, still unsure if this was real.
(y/n) pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and started to dab at her forehead.
“That is a very long story and I don’t think we have the time for it,” (y/n) explained.
Suddenly Helly realized they were in the middle of the hallway. Lumon’s cameras all around them.
“Right, follow me,” Helly said, then led (y/n) through the endless halls.
Helly led (y/n) to an unused office. It was dark and dusty but quiet and private.
Helly stepped aside to let (y/n) in before shutting the door.
“Nice place,” (y/n) joked.
The side of Helly’s mouth curled upwards.
The bright lights from the halls served as soft lighting, letting the pair see just enough of one another.
(y/n) stared expectantly at Helly.
Helly wasn’t sure why.
They stood in silence for a beat.
Then (y/n) cleared her throat and walked towards one of the uncovered desks. She leaned against it.
“So, I’m here,” (y/n) stated.
Helly nodded. “Yes, you are,” she replied nervously.
(y/n) met Helly’s gaze. “Why am I here Helly?”
Helly furrowed her brows. “You’re asking me?”
“You said you wanted to see me again. Here I am,” (y/n) said and leaned back against the desk.
“Right.”
Helly fidgeted with her fingers.
Suddenly all those questions she had for (y/n) disappeared from her mind.
She felt (y/n)’s gaze on her.
It made Helly nervous.
Nervous but excited.
Helly still wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
Lost in her thoughts, Helly didn’t notice (y/n) stand up and walk towards her.
“Do you know why your name is Helly Riggs?”
Helly pulled herself out of her thoughts and realized (y/n) was now in front of her.
(y/n) smelled of vanilla and spice.
Helly liked it.
“I assumed Helly was a nickname for Helena,” Helly replied.
(y/n) smiled.
“It’s my nickname for her,” (y/n) confessed.
Helly furrowed her brows. “Really?”
(y/n) nodded slowly.
Helly wasn’t quite sure how to feel.
“I didn’t think Helena was the sentimental type,” Helly joked.
(y/n)’s smile widened.
Helly realized she wasn’t sure of anything when she was near (y/n).
She kind of liked that.
“And Riggs is your last name,” Helly continued.
(y/n) nodded again.
“Why would she use your last name?”
(y/n) turned and walked back towards the desk.
“She said she wanted to take it on a test run.I doubt she would’ve dropped the Eagan surname if we had gotten married though.”
Helly walked to a desk opposite (y/n)’s and sat down on the table.
She remained quiet.
(y/n) watched Helly.
“It suits you better,” (y/n) said, her eyes never leaving Helly’s face.
Helly’s cheeks warmed. She looked away from (y/n).
There was so much about (y/n) that confused Helly but the one thing she was sure of was that she needed to keep seeing (y/n).
-
And Helly got to keep seeing (y/n).
Every week or so (y/n) would meet Helly in the unused office during Helly’s scheduled lunch period.
It wasn’t much time but Helly savored every second by (y/n)’s side.
(y/n) was warm and bright. She was all laughter and wit.
Every week Helly counted down the days until their next meeting.
She didn’t even care that things between her and Mark had become strained.
She didn’t care about finding Mark’s wife or anything else Lumon related.
All she cared about was walking down the maze of hallways that led to (y/n).
How someone as wonderful as (y/n) fell for someone as dreadful as Helena was a mystery to Helly.
But it was easy to see why Helena fell for (y/n).
She didn’t know it yet but Helly had started to fall in love with (y/n).
-
After a few weeks of secret rendezvous their conversations started to veer from surface level to more intimate questions.
Helly stared down at (y/n)’s fingers as they toyed with Helly’s Lumon lanyard.
It was strange how easy physical touch between them had come.
For (y/n) it seemed mindless, a habit.
For Helly it was a heady rush that felt like rebellion.
“Did you ever wonder about me? About what I was like?” Helly asked, not meeting (y/n)’s gaze.
(y/n)’s hands pulled away from Helly’s lanyard.
She took a deep breath then settled her hands on her lap.
“I did. I wasn’t exactly a fan of the idea of Helena getting severed. I knew it was just to gain favor with her father. When she almost died I begged her not to go back. I didn’t think I could live with the anxiety of it all,” (y/n) answered.
Helly winced at the memory of her attempted suicide.
It seemed cruel now.
Not because she had hurt Helena, but because Helly now realized she indirectly hurt (y/n).
“I’m sorry,” Helly whispered.
(y/n) hooked her finger under Helly’s chin and brought Helly’s gaze to meet hers.
“Don’t be. I didn’t know how bad the innies had it until I did some digging after that happened,” (y/n) said.
Helly’s heart started to race.
(y/n) gazed into Helly’s eyes. (y/n) smiled softly and moved her hand to cup Helly’s cheek.
“You know when I first saw you all I could see was my Helena,” (y/n) confessed.
Helly’s mouth dried, and her throat threatened to close up.
This was a lot more contact than she had become used to with (y/n).
They held hands. They fidgeted with each other’s sweaters or handkerchiefs or lanyard- they did not romantically hold each other’s faces.
“But now,” (y/n) continued and gently ran her thumb across Helly’s cheek.
Helly unconsciously held her breath. She had never experienced such a rush.
Having (y/n) hold her face like that felt like an invitation, but to what Helly didn’t know.
Helly’s eyes fluttered down to (y/n)’s lips.
“Now what,” Helly asked, a slight tremble in her voice.
Helly looked back up at (y/n).
(y/n) had an unrecognizable look in her eyes.
Indecipherable to Helly’s mind but her body knew.
Helly leaned into (y/n)’s touch.
“Oh Helly,” she breathed.
(y/n) sighed wistfully.
Helly closed her eyes and savored the feeling of (y/n)’s touch.
“I don’t understand what’s going on with me (y/n),” Helly revealed.
Suddenly the warmth of (y/n)’s touch disappeared.
Helly opened her eyes and saw (y/n) looking away from her, (y/n)’s hands now firmly laced together.
Helly’s stomach sank.
“Did I- did I do something wrong?”
(y/n) closed her eyes and gently shook her head. “No it’s not- I just…,” (y/n) said then trailed off.
Helly frowned. She had ruined things.
She had said too much.
(y/n) opened her eyes then moved to stand.
Helly watched helplessly.
(y/n) stood and started for the door.
Helly sprung up and followed.
She reached out and grabbed (y/n)’s wrist.
(y/n) stopped but she didn’t turn to look at Helly.
“Tell me what I did wrong…please,” Helly pleaded.
(y/n) let out another sigh.
Then she finally turned her head towards Helly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Helly. I…I shouldn’t have come down here. I’m sorry.”
Helly furrowed her brows.
“I don’t understand.”
(y/n) pulled her hand free of Helly’s grasp.
“I should go. Bye Helly,” (y/n) said and turned back towards the door.
(y/n) rushed out of the room before Helly could say anything more.
Tears welled in Helly’s eyes so she turned away from the door.
She crossed her arms and hugged herself.
Helly had ruined it all and she had no idea how.
She only hoped (y/n) would return.
-
It was weeks before (y/n) returned. Week after week Helly made her way to the secluded office and waited in vain for (y/n) to arrive.
She hated the fact that she didn’t know how she had upset (y/n).
Helly wracked her mind, played their last conversation over and over in her mind, looking for answers.
But she found none.
Mark invited Helly to spend her lunch period with him. They had barely talked since (y/n) had come into Helly’s life.
Even when Helly wasn’t with (y/n), her mind was occupied with questions for (y/n) which made Helly a pretty poor conversation partner amongst the macrodata team.
Helly planned to accept Mark’s invitation to spend lunch together but something inside her told her to wait for (y/n) one last time.
So when lunch rolled around Helly made her way towards the unused office space.
She swung the door open and to her surprise (y/n) was already there, her back to Helly.
“(y/n),” Helly said, relief washing over her.
(y/n) turned around, and Helly could tell she was just as relieved to see her.
(y/n) smiled sheepishly.
Helly walked in and closed the door behind her.
The two stood next to each other, in awkward silence.
Helly wasn’t sure what to say. Should she apologize? But she didn’t know what she would apologize for.
Finally, (y/n) spoke.
“I owe you an explanation,” she said.
Helly turned her head towards (y/n). She nodded softly for (y/n) to continue.
(y/n) took a deep steadying breath.
“I shouldn’t have run out of here like I did. That was foolish of me.”
(y/n) started to fidget with her fingers.
She did not meet Helly’s gaze.
“Did I do something wrong,” Helly asked.
(y/n) shook her head. “Not at all Helly.”
“Then why didn’t you come back the following week? I spent weeks waiting for you,” Helly replied.
“I’m sorry Helly. I am,” (y/n) repeated.
“If it wasn’t something I did, then what happened?” Helly pressed.
(y/n) nervously toyed with her hair.
She still did not meet Helly’s gaze.
“I came down here the first time because I wanted to know why Helena had chosen Mark over me but then,” (y/n) began then finally looked over at Helly, “I kept coming back because I wanted to know you.”
(y/n) bit her lip.
“Fuck it,” she whispered and shook her head. “The truth is when I first saw you all I could see was Helena but now I realize you are the part of her I fell in love with. My friends always asked me what I could possibly see in Helena, and now I know it was you who I saw and you are who I fell in love with.”
Helly stared at (y/n), speechless.
(y/n)’s shoulders relaxed but she regarded Helly cautiously.
“I don’t know what to say (y/n),” Helly admitted.
“That’s alright. I’m not sure I would know either if I was in your place,” (y/n) replied.
Silence descended between the pair.
Helly had wondered how much of her personality she shared with Helena. How similar she was to her outtie.
Helly hated the idea that she was exactly like Helena.
But she wasn’t sure how to feel about the idea that who she was was visible in Helena.
(y/n) cleared her throat softly.
Helly’s gaze shot back up to (y/n).
“Do you want me to leave?” (y/n) asked nervously.
Helly shook her head.
Through all the confusing thoughts that swirled in her head one thing was clear, she wanted (y/n) here by her side.
“Okay then,” (y/n) said and sat down atop a nearby desk.
Helly mirrored (y/n)’s actions and sat atop an opposing desk.
After a few moments in the quiet darkness Helly’s thoughts settled.
She looked up at (y/n) who was anxiously toying with the hem of her shirt.
“How similar am I to Helena?”
(y/n) met Helly’s gaze. She smiled softly.
“You both have a very strong demeanor but you never bought into the Eagan brainwashing so you are free in ways Helena could never dream of.”
Helly let out a sarcastic huff. “Free is not how I would describe my life.”
(y/n) cringed. “You’re right. I just meant that Helena is constrained by her inferiority complex surrounding her Eagan ancestors and you don’t have to deal with that baggage. That lets you be someone Helena could never dream of.”
Helly considered (y/n)’s words thoughtfully.
(y/n) stood from her seat and crossed the room towards Helly. She leaned against the same desk Helly sat on.
“I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I just couldn’t explain why I ran out of here in a panic without telling you how I feel about you.”
Helly softened. “I’m not freaked out (y/n). This is just so new to me I don’t understand how I feel, like at all,” Helly confessed.
(y/n) eyed Helly wearily. “Do you hate me?”
Helly looked at (y/n) incredulously. “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to…and I definitely don’t want to. I know that much.”
(y/n) smiled. “I’m happy to hear that.”
Helly returned the smile.
The rest of Helly’s lunch period was spent in a comfortable silence. (y/n) sat next to Helly on the desk and after a few minutes she let her head rest on Helly’s shoulder.
Helly breathed a sigh of relief. She had missed the warmth of (y/n) next to her.
-
(y/n) beat Helly to the office every week after that, and even started to sneak in things from the outside world for Helly to try.
First it was cookies (y/n) had baked, then it was (y/n)’s favorite food, and on their three month anniversary (y/n) snuck in a cupcake with a candle.
“Happy three month anniversary Helly,” (y/n) said as she lit the candle.
Helly stared down at the lit candle then back up at (y/n).
“It’s really been three months since we met?”
(y/n) nodded.
They blew out the candle together.
“Did you make a wish?” (y/n) asked.
Helly blinked at her. “A wish?”
(y/n) chuckled. “You can make a wish whenever you blow out a candle,” she explained.
Helly raised her brows. “Did you make a wish?”
(y/n) nodded once more.
“What did you wish for,” Helly wondered.
“Can’t tell you or else it won’t come true.”
Helly furrowed her brows. “That’s weird.”
(y/n) laughed then scooped a bit of frosting up with her finger.
She bopped Helly’s nose and transferred the frosting.
Helly laughed and moved to do the same but (y/n) quickly got away.
After a few minutes of chasing each other the pair split the cupcake and ate contently next to one another.
-
Helly especially loved the day where (y/n) snuck in a music player and brought in her favorite album.
“It’s a classic,” (y/n) explained as the music played.
Helly looked at the album cover. It was a man with a microphone looking down at something off the page.
Jeff Buckley’s Grace, Helly read.
The music was slow but Helly liked it.
(y/n) watched Helly.
Helly looked up at (y/n).
They stared into each other’s eyes as the song continued.
Maybe I'm too young
To keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind
So... you'll never know
Helly’s chest tightened.
They hadn’t talked about (y/n)’s confession since that fateful day.
And Helly had had plenty of time to think of her own burgeoning feelings.
Broken down and hungry for your love
With no way to feed it
At first Helly believed her feelings for (y/n) were pure curiosity. (y/n) came from a world Helly could never fully imagine. (y/n) provided so much information Helly had desperately wanted.
So I'll wait for you, love
And I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return?
Then Helly considered how miserable the weeks without seeing (y/n) had felt. How every moment Helly was conscious was spent thinking of (y/n).
Oh, will I ever learn?
Oh-oh, lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late
Lastly she found out her friends had their own conflicting, gut wrenching, desires that plagued them. Mark told Helly about his confusing feelings for Miss Casey, who was his outtie’s wife, and Dylan revealed to them that he was given the special perk of seeing his outtie’s wife and speaking with her. Dylan had fallen in love and it was freaking him out.
Helly didn’t reveal the truth of her lunch escapades. She didn’t want to share (y/n) with them.
But hearing their stories did help Helly parse through her own feelings.
And she came to a very overwhelming and scary realization.
My body turns
And yearns for a sleep that won't ever come
It's never over
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over
All my riches for her smiles
When I've slept so soft against her
“You look lost in thought,” (y/n) whispered.
Helly pulled herself out of her reverie. She blinked then focused her gaze on (y/n).
“Sorry.”
It's never over
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over
She is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever
Oh, but maybe I'm just too young
To keep good love from going wrong
(y/n) smiled. “It’s alright. My favorite part is coming up,” (y/n) revealed.
Helly stared into (y/n)’s eyes, butterflies filling her chest and beating against her ribs.
The realization Helly had come to was that she too was in love.
Helly had never been in love, but the feelings that raged inside her were too strong and overpowering to be anything else.
Oh-oh-oh, lover
You should've come over, yeah, yes
Yes, I feel too young to hold on
Helly’s eyes flickered down to (y/n)’s lips.
She had only kissed one other person. She wasn’t even sure if she was good at it.
And much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Mark didn’t know any better but (y/n) surely would.
What if she was bad at it? What if (y/n) stopped loving her because she wasn’t good at it?
Oh, love, well I've waited for you
Lover, lover, lover
Her body took over. Helly leaned in towards (y/n). Her eyes flickered back up to (y/n)’s.
What if (y/n) rejected her?
It was too late to turn back.
Helly’s eyes closed as she closed the gap between herself and (y/n).
She felt the warmth of (y/n)’s breath on her lips.
(y/n) leaned her forehead against Helly’s.
“Are you sure Helly,” (y/n) whispered tenderly.
Helly nodded, not trusting her voice.
Not when all she could think about was (y/n)’s scent of vanilla and spice.
Then she felt (y/n)’s lips against her own.
Lover, love, love, love, love, love, love!
Lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late
Heat washed over Helly’s whole being. It felt like being bathed in fire but not burned.
The music started to fade but Helly could barely hear it over the thrumming of her heart in her ears.
(y/n)’s hand cupped Helly’s face and brought Helly closer against her.
Helly steadied herself with a hand on (y/n)’s thighs.
This was different from the kiss she had shared with Mark.
Her lungs started to burn but Helly didn’t dare pull away.
What surprised Helly was how familiar the kiss felt.
Not because she had kissed before.
But because (y/n)’s lips fit perfect against her own, and her hands knew exactly what to do.
Helly deepened the kiss and hungrily bit (y/n)’s lower lip.
(y/n) let out a soft moan.
A burning desire bloomed between Helly’s legs.
Helly froze.
That was new.
(y/n) pulled away, and fought to steady her breath. “Are you okay?”
Helly felt her face go hot. She looked away from (y/n) and nodded.
(y/n) smiled. “Are you sure?”
Helly sat back down beside (y/n).
The heat between her legs started to pulse.
(y/n) regarded Helly curiously.
Helly steadied her breathing.
Had she done something wrong?
She closed her eyes.
She knew (y/n) would know.
But it felt embarrassing to ask.
Helly swallowed hard then let out a deep breath.
“Something happened…between my legs, it feels hot and I don’t know what it is.”
(y/n) softened. She suppressed a laugh.
“Helly, I think you’re aroused.”
Helly’s eyes flashed open. She turned to (y/n).
“That’s never happened before.”
(y/n) smirked. “Not for you but your body and I are well acquainted.”
Helly let her head rest against the desk behind her. She let out a laugh.
“So you caused this?”
(y/n) laced her fingers with Helly’s. She brought Helly’s knuckles up to her lips. She kissed them gently.
“If it makes you feel any better, you have the same effect on me.”
Helly met (y/n)’s gaze. She raised a brow.
“I do?”
(y/n) nodded.
Helly smirked. “That does make me feel better.”
(y/n) laughed and brought her head against Helly’s chest.
Helly kissed the top of (y/n)’s head and listened to the rest of the album in blissful silence.
Things would soon change but in that moment nothing and no one else existed.