fighting my own monsters...
Description: The reader opens up to Severus about her insecurities and her past, which makes Severus feel very bad. This results in him helping her be more positive about herself.
Characters: Severus Snape x Reader
Warnings: Possible mentions of self-harm and suicide.
You have fallen in love with Severus Snape. You, the small, shy professor at Hogwarts, created a relationship with the greatly feared potions master. You story was quite simple. Severus had subtly fallen for you after bonding for days on. Although he always had an annoyed sneer on his face he actually enjoyed your presence.
He loved the way you’d giggle every time he made a sarcastic comment. And he especially loved the way you give him your full attention when you spoke. You learned to look people in the eye when they spoke to you because when people do that to you, you feel comforted knowing they’re actually listening.
The two of you became a couple in a rather silly way. McGonagall noticed the two of you had an interest in each other for quite awhile. She’d “accidentally” leave you two alone together and make small comments about how you’d be a great couple. Soon enough, you gained enough courage and admitted your feelings to severus, and to your surprise, Severus felt the same way.
Months went by and the two of you were perfectly happy. Winter was well on its way and you were very unhappy about it. You enjoyed Summer, Spring, and Fall because you always had an open mind and were able to do things freely. During the winter months, you’re stuck inside the caste for months and months, alone with your thoughts.
This was the first winter where you and Severus were together. You were quite afraid because you never want Severus to see this side of you. You don’t want him to know that deep down, this giggly and happy girl was nowhere near happy.
You sat in Severus’ arm chair in front of the fire, while he graded tests in his study. As you stared into the blazing hot flames, the usual bad thoughts began to invade your mind.
You’re no good. Who would ever want to be in a relationship with you. How is someone supposed to love you when you look like that. He pities you. He doesn’t really love you at all.
the voices are right. How could anyone ever love you?
“y/n?” a familiar, comforting voice ripped you away from your thoughts.
You turned your head in his direction and instantly realized tears were streaming down your face. You quickly attempted to wipe them away but Severus grabbed your arms before you could get them all.
He quickly sat down and pulled you into his lap as you started to cry. Severus placed his hands on either side of your face and looked directly into your eyes.
“y/n” he said with a stern, but soft voice “I will not let you go until you tell me whats wrong.”
You tried to look away, but quickly gave up because you knew severus was being serious. For months you’ve tried to swallow the truth, but you now realized that in order for you two to be 100% close, you need to tell him everything.
“6 years ago.. I was going down a really rough patch. I was still in school, and I didnt have many friends and having the anxiety that i have, made everything worse.” You said quietly.
You looked at severus and noticed he was giving you his full attention.
“I became very insecure about myself. I didn’t like my legs, or how my nose was, or how my stomach wasn’t flat, and my hair…. and having no friends just made my life completely horrible. Six years ago Severus.. I tried to kill myself.” The tears began to build up “I haven’t felt that way in a very long time, but those insecurities… i still have them.”
Severus looked at you with astonishment. He quickly, but softly pushed you off his lap. At first you were hurt because you thought severus was angry but he gripped onto your hand and pulled you into his bedroom.
He pulled you in front of his full length mirror and forced you to look at yourself. He stood behind you and you looked at him through the mirror.
“My heart aches knowing you dont see yourself like i see you y/n.” He said with a pained expression. “Every part of you gets more beautiful each and every day.”
He touched your soft, h/c hair “Your hair is beautiful.”
He slowly tucked your hair behind your ears. He walked closer towards you and planted a soft, passionate kiss on your nose “Your nose is amazing.”
Severus then, lowered himself onto his knees as placed his hands lightly on your hips and kissed your stomach “Your stomach is wonderful.”
And finally, he kissed each of your legs “Your legs are outstanding.”
He then stood up once more and looked into your eyes as he placed his hands on each side of your face again.
“Every part of you is magnificent. And i love you for that y/n. Please.. if you ever feel this way about yourself again, you’ll tell me so i can remind you that you are perfect.” he said, without looking away from your eyes.
Tears built up in your eyes once more, only this time, they were happy tears. You nodded your head quickly and choked out an “I promise.”
Severus half smiled and pulled your face towards him and kissed you passionately on the lips for several minutes before pulling away.
Once again, your thoughts invaded your mind.
Severus truly loved you. He believes you are absolutely beautiful. And for the first time in 6 years.. you actually believed him.
