make it right
sevika x younger!fem!reader
warnings! age gap (reader is 29 and sevika is 41), slight angst to fluff to smut, sevika is horrible with feelings at first (she tries afterwards tho), cheesy romance cuz why the hell not, yearning yearning yearning (a lot of it and then some more), cunnilingus (r!receiving), tribbing, sevika gets emotional during sex
men and minors dni!!
word count: 9,4k words
ᨦ ෆ ᨩ summary: sevika didn’t realize how much she loves you until it was too late. and after two years of living in regret, she’s done listening to her brain when she sees you again, going as far as to make a whole month all about you.
note: this is genuinely the longest one shot i’ve ever written and holy shit… i lowkey love this one, even tho writing it was actually getting on my nerves. i’ve also gotten sick while writing it, so excuse the quality in some parts (i really tried my hardest). not proofread so this might be absolutely shit. enjoy!!
sevika has done a lot of stupid shit in her life. dating that one girl back in college who turned out to be straight and experimenting. hoping that her relationship with her father would get better as she grew older. getting drunk on her friend’s wedding after having a very brief life crisis.
some have become a funny joke with her little group of friends, one that get a chuckle even out of her.
and then there were some that she just wishes she could forget forever. drown them in a bottle of whisky.
all of those memories are stored in her head. a mental list of embarrassing, painful, awkwardly funny parts of her life.
those memories love to terrorize her in the most random moments of her life. she has gotten good at ignoring over the years, but some days were harder, where even a hard alcohol or a good fuck couldn’t fix.
another thing that sevika always knew about herself, is that she has never been the best person on earth. she has her flaws, like everyone does, but she never had the need to lie about how perfect her life is. she knows it is far from it.
and with flaws, regrets walk along hand-in-hand. sevika regrets a lot of things, far too many.
but her biggest regret is ever letting you invade her life.
you, a woman who is just the complete opposite of her. you are sweet, gentle in ways sevika is not. you cared for her when others only pretended. you were, to her, the perfect person. she never understood how good you could be with others. with her. it scared her, really.
she was scared of how well you could read her, made her feel seen in the most vulnerable way. she hated it, but you were the only one who ever had the privilege to know who she truly is.
the only issue about this almost perfect, pulled-straight-out-of-a-novel relationship was?
the pretty big age gap.
you were 27 when sevika met you, and she was 39. you two met at a bar she was a frequent for nearly a decade, with you and your friends celebrating your friends’ engagement. she never asked what reason you had to suddenly approach her that night, but she still remembers what exactly she saw.
you, endearingly tipsy from wine, walking over to her with a pretty smile glimmering on your lips. your makeup was slightly smudged, lipgloss ruined from the wine. she even remembers how you unbuttoned your blazer widely enough to show her the slightest sliver of skin hiding beneath.
you were simply breathtaking, in a way that made sevika crave. and you were just as desperate, clinging to her side looking all coy, touching her bicep and feeding her ego with sweet compliments. she was loving it, deep down. having a pretty girl hung up on her arms made her feel invincible.
you were not shy about your desire for sevika, going as far as to make the first move. it’s what led you into her bed that night, and many more nights after.
she could never forget how desperate you were for her, a strange woman you met at a bar.
you were insatiable.
there were days where she had to cocoon you in her duvet just to keep you away from her. and sevika was never a woman who struggled with not having enough stamina. she had more than enough and then some, enough to go for hours, but it was nothing compared to you.
you were bold. hungry. feral like a rabid dog, sneaky like a predator. you knew how to test her resilience, patience, and restraint.
no warnings sevika gave you ever stopped you either. if anything, they would make you work harder to get her riled up, until you ended up bent over a random piece of furniture that was in sevika’s way.
but she never complained. it was what she loved about you.
and loving you was scary.
when things began to get serious, sevika felt cornered. what was first just a great sex with a younger woman, became more. and you both felt it.
sevika tried, she really did. but the nagging feeling that kept saying to let you go, knowing that unlike her, you had a whole life before you, was far too loud in her head. you were perfect for someone like her, and the way her heart was racing at the mere sight of you made it clear how much she loved you.
she never said it, but she knew. though she wasn’t sure if you knew it, too.
that’s why it had to end. she loved you too much to tie you down to someone like her. an older woman with her life a mess, who is more familiar with a bottom of a bottle than romance. she is only a mechanic with her own business, while you can make it bigger in life with your fancy degree and a way with words.
you needed someone who deserved you. and sevika knew it would never be her.
she couldn’t face you to end it. you were the sunshine in her life she didn’t know she needed until she had it. and sevika was always weak for you. the second your eyes would meet, she would chicken out.
so what did she do instead?
she sent you a text.
sevika felt like a coward, hiding behind her phone screen when she sent the message. yours came flooding her inbox immediately, and by the typos and short messages, she knew you were crying on the other end of the line.
you tried to reach out to her so many times the first week or two, calling and texting to the point where sevika was leaving her phone at home when going to work. not because it was annoying, but each notification that came from your number made her heart ache more and more each time.
she began avoiding spots where she could accidentally meet you. that one restaurant you two once went to? it did not matter that sevika had to go to the gym that way, she would use a different route. the area where you work? she did not dare step foot in there.
she even stopped going to her favorite bar for a while, the one where she met you. the last thing she wanted was to see you there, waiting on her, give her that sweet look that would break her resolve.
and now, it’s been two years, and sevika has not moved on since.
if anything, it got worse.
she thought moving on would be easy. you were just another woman in her life, a younger woman, too. she expected to be back on her feet within three months, jumping into another woman’s bed to forget you.
and she did just that.
except it had no effect.
no matter who she had in her bed, you invaded her mind like a parasite. a parasite she desperately wanted to get rid off, but nothing ever worked.
sevika never felt more pathetic in her entire life more than now.
she has thought many times about contacting you again. thinking about calling you, telling you how sorry she is, even going as far as begging you to listen to her. she even bought you flowers once, on your birthday – even though she pretended to not listen when you still were together – walking to your place with an apology she has practiced for a whole day.
but as she stood before your apartment complex, watching random people in the window of your living room, she chickened out. the bouquet she paid a hefty amount for ended up in the trash, and she drank a whole bottle before midnight to drown her sorrows.
she regrets meeting you, but she regrets ever letting you go.
she spends nights on her phone, gathering the courage to text you. her thumb hovers over the call button each time, but never really clicking it. she doesn’t even know if you have her blocked.
if only sevika knew you weren’t any better.
you like to claim that you have moved on. you laugh and smile with your friends as if your heart has not been heavy with anger, replacing the sadness that first prevailed. even after two years of absolute silence from the older woman, the situation weighs heavily on you.
it’s not the breakup that is the problem – if you can even call it that. if sevika were to tell you face-to-face, you would take it. it would hurt, sure, but you would understand. you would have some kind of closure.
but apparently by sevika’s standards, you aren’t even worthy of a phone call.
worth nothing more than a fucking text message.
you read it so many times it’s engraved in your mind since, haunting you like a nightmare. and no matter how many times you tried to reach out, she ignored it all. all your calls and messages, read but never answered.
that hurt the most.
dating after sevika has been rocky like walking on a rope bridge. always hit or miss, never going past a third date, until you stopped forcing yourself into another relationship that only deepened the wounds left behind.
as much as you try to convince yourself that you hate her, that you have truly forgotten all about her, you can never deny how you always miss her.
the smallest things reminds you of her. the scent of motor oil that always lingered on sevika’s clothes, to the way she loved her whiskey served. even something as insignificant as a smoke of a cigarette. you remember how much you hated kissing her after she had a smoke, which only made her kiss you harder.
you miss that.
you miss when sevika gave you her attention, not just the sex part. all of it.
and perhaps you were silly enough to believe that she loved you back because of it.
today was meant to be another normal day for sevika. after a long shift, all she wanted was to go to a bar, have a few drinks and go back home. her usual – though horribly sad – routine.
but ever since she woke up today, at 6am like always, she had this gut feeling that something is going to happen.
it started small.
first there was a woman walking past sevika with the same hair as you. her heart nearly stopped thinking it was you, but when the woman turned around, she let out a sigh of relief and a quiet curse under her breath.
she was being ridiculous. she last saw you two years ago. you probably changed your hairstyle by now, looking completely different. she probably wouldn’t even recognize you if she saw you on the street. at least she wanted to believe that.
then came the restaurant she once took you to. sevika’s heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she came to her senses, realizing that she went the wrong route.
she has been used to avoid this street, this part of town entirely. why did she accidentally stumbled here today of all days?
it made no sense.
until she saw you.
she was right about one thing, though. you really changed your hair. otherwise you look the same, and it scares sevika how easily she has recognized you in the crowd of people walking by. but it’s hard to not notice when you stand a few feet away, standing before an opened car, wearing black slacks and a black blouse.
you look professional, yet still so unbelievably beautiful. the way you stand there on your heels, a perfect depiction of an office siren. sevika almost forgets what she has done, forgets sending that stupid message. almost going as far as to step forward to walk towards you and wrap her arms around you.
but she can’t. how will she look like, after two years of radio silence, deciding to hold you as if nothing had happened? as if she didn’t ruin the best thing in her fucked up life. she doesn’t deserve you, and you deserve more than an asshole like her.
the moment passes when you finally close the car and turn around, your eyes landing on sevika standing not far away. she sees how your body stiffens, eyes widen in shock, and she is far from doing good herself.
neither of you move for what feels like hours. people pass by you, all in their own worlds, ignoring the two worlds that once parted have collided once again. and neither of you have the courage to approach each other.
at least sevika doesn’t have the courage. what would she even say? no words that come to her mind can ever fix the mess she has made.
but watching you stand there, perfect like the first she met you, her body works on her own. the soles of her boots against the concrete is the only sound that fills her ears, along with her rapidly beating heart – beating hard enough to put her in a cardiac arrest.
but it’s now or never. for the first time in sevika’s damned life, she follows what her heart wants, not her brain.
she stands a few feet away from you now, and seeing you flinch away makes her heart sink. not that she can blame you, but it aches nonetheless. she takes a deep breath to calm her pulse, before her mouth opens.
“hey,” is the only thing that comes out of her, and she groans. why are feelings so complicated?
your eyes lock with hers, and before sevika can continue, you finally speak up. “what do you want?”
“i…” the question renders her speechless. she doesn’t know herself what she wants anymore. a proper closure? an apology? fall down to her knees and beg you to come back to her? it’s all options, and neither at the same time. “i just want to talk.”
“two years too late, don’t you think? but you can send me a text message. that’s your thing, isn’t it?” you snap at her, and sevika winces. touché.
“look, i’m not here to argue. i don’t know why i’m here, anyway. and today of all days. but i know is that i want to fix this,” sevika hates the word that comes out of her next. “please.”
“but you said i’m too young–“
“i know what i said!” her voice comes out harsh and frustrated, but not entirely at you. “but i can’t get you out of my head and it pisses me off.”
you look away from her, and sevika is tempted to grab you by the chin and make you look at her. just like she used to when your eyes closed, or darted away from her when she brought you to cloud nine and back. but she can’t. not after everything.
“i know i don’t deserve a second chance, not after the bullshit i did,” she hesitates for a moment, “give me one night. that’s all i want. you can yell at me, slap me, scalp me for all i care. just… just give me that.”
that’s when your eyes lock with hers, looking bewildered like a deer in the headlights. your face switches between various emotions. angry, shocked, ready to slap the audacity out of sevika for even suggesting ever meeting again.
the silence feels heavy like a storm cloud, and for a second, sevika believes that you will reject her. she wouldn’t hold it against you if you did, but a part of her prays to win you over again, to have you back in her life even after she let you go.
and as she’s opening her mouth to speak, you beat her to it.
“fine. one night. that’s all you’re getting.”
instant relief floods through sevika’s body like a whisky, warming her up. she tries not to let it show, but the way her flesh fingers twitch ever so slightly give away her true feelings. she hates how easily you pull a reaction out of her.
her lips curl up in a ghost of a smile. “i’ll pick you up on friday, 6pm.”
it is finally friday. the clock on the wall of your bedroom ticks away 5.30, only thirty minutes before sevika shows up.
and you’re nowhere near as ready as you have hoped.
you have absolutely no idea why you had agreed in the first place. the closure, perhaps? wanting to hear her out? or maybe… maybe, somewhere deep in your heart, you want to see her one more time before fate does its job.
the scene keeps repeating in your head, playing out possible ‘what if’s in your head, as if that’s going to help. you cannot change the past now. you promised, and saying no to her, even after what she had done, is easier said than done.
you probably should have said no. make things easier for yourself.
but it’s hard to deny the effect she still has on you. how her voice sends shivers down your spine, like it used to before. how her big frame towers over yours, and how it makes you want to be in her mercy – in her arms, where you once felt so safe.
you’re still under her spell, and you can deny it all you want.
not even ten minutes pass when a ringing sound of a doorbell pierces your ears, making you flinch by the mirror. she’s here early, and your stomach is tied in knots.
it’s now or never.
you check yourself in the mirror one last time, fixing up the buttons of your blazer vest, mostly just to make her wait. you had to wait for two whole years, she can handle two minutes.
“you can do it…” you whisper to your reflection as if it can support you back, taking a deep breath before you walk towards the door. you hang the bag over your shoulder, put on your shoes, and with one last sigh, you leave your apartment.
the soles of your platforms thud against the steps as you descend, unsteady like a fading heartbeat. not even halfway down, you consider walking back up and ditch sevika on this date – if you can even call it that.
there is nothing more to it then closure, you convince yourself. or try to, at least.
because the second you open the main entrance and see sevika standing in front of you, every thought in your mind evaporates like a mist over boiling kettle. you are back to the days when you were together, head over heels and heartbeat embarrassingly loud.
her broad frame towers over you, dark maroon shirt perfectly hugging her upper body, and exposing enough of her sternum with three buttons undone. the hem is tucked in her pants, tight slacks that hug her thighs just right, showing off her muscles for the world to admire.
she must be doing this on purpose, you are sure of it.
and as you are admiring her, sevika is busy taking you in. you notice her throat moving as she swallows, her eyes raving over your suit-clad body. her mouth opens, then closes, then opens again like a fish stuck on land.
a small flicker of confidence lights up in you, knowing you still have an effect on her.
a minute passes, the two of you standing there in awkward silence.
until sevika clears her throat. “ready?”
“ready,” you nod, lying through your teeth.
sevika walks you to her car, hand hovering over your back, but never really touching. she opens the door for you, waiting until you sit before walking to the driver’s seat.
the ride is quiet, too quiet. you have nothing to say, and by the way sevika’s jaw is set tight, you can tell she wants to say too much but doesn’t know how to start.
you set your eyes on the view outside, watching as the scenery passes by. anything to keep yourself occupied so you won’t look at sevika.
but she forces you when she speaks up.
“you… you look great,” the words come out strained, like her mouth worked before her brain did.
you stay still, lips pursed together as you watch her. steel grey eyes set on the road, flesh hand on the steering wheel while the prosthetic one digs into her thigh. her nostrils are flared, eyebrows furrowed, and you cannot really read what she’s thinking right now.
your silence makes sevika groan. “you can at least acknowledge that i’m talking.”
“i’m looking at you. isn’t that enough?”
“i know you’re angry–“
“angry doesn’t even fucking cover how i feel, sevika,” you cut her off, sharp and loud.
“you know words aren’t my strong suit,” sevika mutters, her grip on the steering wheel tightening.
“yeah, i know. you prefer texts,” you jab where it hurts the most, not only her but you. “you’re expert at that.”
“for fuck’s sake.”
“what? can’t handle the truth? can’t handle that i’m not jumping into your arms and accepting whatever excuse you have prepared for me?” question after question pours out your mouth in an angry outburst, questions that don’t have an answer.
not one that would make your anger less explosive, anyway.
“i’m trying, okay?”
“you should’ve tried two years ago, sevika! you kick me in the ass through a fucking text, and now you think i’m gonna be all hot and bothered for you?”
“just shut up!”
sevika’s voice is a roar of frustration, helplessness and anger. she makes a sharp turn right, your face nearly kissing the window, parking at a random place where it’s all suspiciously quiet.
she turns to you, and you watch how her expression twitches. tightens and loosens repeatedly, fighting whatever bomb of emotion is ticking within her.
“i know i fucked up, majorly. and i get that you probably hate me ‘cause of it,” she takes a deep breath, “but there hasn’t been a day where i haven’t regretted the bullshit i’ve done. i tried so many times to contact you, visit you… do anything to see you again. but i couldn’t.”
“why? why couldn’t you, huh?” you press on, forcing the answer out of her one way or another.
she glances away when she speaks up again, “because you deserve someone better than me. someone who’ll give you a good life, who’d be on the same wavelength as you. the same age as you. i have… nothing to give you besides a good fuck.”
you think for a second that your ears are deceiving you. hearing doubts from a woman who looked nothing but confidence herself, smirking at you whenever she showed off, always so sure of herself… it feels strange. but it doesn’t do anything to cool you off.
it only makes you angrier.
“so you just… decided to make a decision for me? do you think i’m that incompetent to know what i want?” your heart is beating out of your chest, the onslaught of emotions feeling heavy on your sternum. “i’m almost thirty, sevika. i’m not a little naive girl who doesn’t know what she wants. you can’t make decisions for me!”
“i know that now, and- and i’m sorry,” the apology is barely audible when sevika utters it. “please, give me a chance to fix it.”
“fix how? you think you can’t fix two years of distance in one night?”
“give me a month,” sevika says without hesitation.
your eyes narrow, eyebrow raised. “what?”
“a month. thirty days. i’ll do all i can to fix this. fix us,” it is the most desperate you’ve ever heard her, and you don’t want to admit how it hits you.
thirty days. you can’t even believe you are thinking of agreeing to it. you shouldn’t be, not after what she has done. but with the way she is looking at you, expecting you to give her the benefit of the doubt, it makes you weak. she hits all the weak spots in you, and you wonder if she even realizes this.
“can’t believe i’m considering it,” you scoff, but it’s not bitter anymore. exasperated, perhaps. “alright. we can try, i guess.”
and when sevika takes your hand in hers, muttering a silent ‘thank you’, you want to believe that she is being sincere with you.
“starting tonight, i promise i’ll do anything to make it right,” she whispers to you, her voice soft and comforting.
when her hand leaves yours to focus back on driving, you start missing the warmth of it. it was the warmest she has touched you, filled with promises that fill you with a speckle of happiness. you don’t even catch the smile on your face.
but sevika does, from the corner of her eye. she sees how your lips curl up ever so slightly, how your eyes suddenly seem more lively than a moment ago. your muscles aren’t taut like a string anymore, and she takes it as a good sign that maybe she will win you back.
she must.
the rest of the ride goes silently, until she stops by a familiar place. the pub where you first met. you haven’t been there ever since sevika broke things off, but it hasn’t changed at all.
and when she walks inside with you by her side, a lively hum of people having fun greets you. it’s not overwhelmingly loud or crowded, a typical friday night after a long week.
sevika leads you to an empty booth, far from others so you can have some privacy. her eyes never leave you, and it is a little awkward at first. even as you order, she never seems to look away, as if she’s afraid to do so.
“i won’t disappear, y’know. stop gawking at me like a hawk,” you huff.
“can’t help it,” sevika mumbles, and a small smirk grows on her full lips. typical. “what if i look away for a second and you’ll leave?” her words are meant to be a joke, but you can see a flicker of worry in her eyes.
she’s being serious, even if she tries to hide it behind her typical bravado. she really hasn’t changed at all.
the rest of the night falls into a soothing rhythm. the tension is not as intense, but it’s clear neither of you want to dive into more serious topics. you’re on a pause – a moment that’s just for you to enjoy before the talk will become inevitable.
when sevika’s lazy smile drops and she sets her whisky on the table, you know that the moment comes now.
“i’ve never gotten over you, y’know. what we had,” she sighs, and for the first time she looks away. “i just couldn’t handle the thought that you would one day regret settling for me.”
“that doesn’t excuse the break up through text,” you retort.
“i know,” she pinches the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut.
“i deserved more than a shitty text, sevika.”
“i know that.”
“don’t you have anything better to say than ‘i know’? because to me, it seems like you don’t know shit,” her answers – or rather lack-there-of – makes you bristle, hand clenching around the glass so tight it could break under the pressure.
“will you ever stop throwing it into my face like that?” sevika snaps at you, unable to keep her frustration at bay.
“you have any idea how much it hurts? to receive a fucking text from a woman you love that ‘i’m too young, and i don’t know what i want in life yet?’ so i’m sorry if i’m hurting your feelings now, because you did it it to me first.”
whatever has been bubbling within sevika slowly evaporated, seeing how you slump against the chair as you continue to blame her – and rightfully so. she has no right to be angry at you, when she’s the one who did this.
so she shuts up. takes everything you were definitely bottling up in you for the past two years. you don’t receive words, only hums and nods as she lets herself be berated for her sheer stupidity. and as you ramble on, tears gathering in your eyes, sevika can only think one thing.
you’re beautiful even when you’re angry at her.
sevika only reaches out when the tears start to fall, standing from her seat to nestle against your side, her strong arm wrapping around your trembling body. and you melt into her warmth, just like old times. it feels right, just how it used to.
but this time, sevika will not let it go.
“i’ll make it right, i promise,” she whispers, full of conviction, landing a tender kiss into your hair.
and you might finally let yourself believe her.
you’re surprised by how much sevika still remembers about you.
yesterday, she got you your favorite flowers, something you once briefly mentioned, never expecting her to even catch it. you certainly never would expect a woman like sevika to remember something so small. unimportant by her standards. but as you held the bouquet in your hands, watching as sevika’s eyes flickered from one place to another, you felt that familiar warmth bloom in your chest.
you haven’t felt that in a while.
and today, she took you to the bistro you used to visit back in your college days, still as lively as it was years ago. you don’t even remember ever telling her about it, or what order you always got.
yet before you could open your mouth, sevika ordered for you, everything to a t.
“can’t believe you remember so much about me,” you mumble with your mouth full, to which sevika chuckled.
“what? can’t be sentimental once in my damn life?” she scoffed.
“i’m serious. even my family doesn’t know as much as you do,” you poke the food around as you speak.
“i may not look like it, but i pay attention. especially if it’s you.”
“if it’s me,” you mutter under your breath, a small grin growing on your lips. “never thought the big scary sevika would be so soft.”
“tease me like that and i’ll stop,” she points the fork at you, as if ready to poke you, but the melodic tone of her laugh that follows tells you all you need to know.
she definitely won’t stop now.
“an amusement park? really?”
“what? think i’m too old for that?” sevika’s thick brow quirks up, arm set on her hip.
the way she reacted makes you laugh way too loudly than you intended, making people stare at the two of you. “aren’t we both a little too old for plushies and cotton candy?”
“just you wait,” she tsks before taking you by the wrist and dragging you to the entrance.
sevika pays for the tickets, her warm hand never letting you go. she holds you like a kid holding a balloon, afraid that you’ll float away if she lets you go. and whenever you tug and pull, her grip just tightens, leaving you no other choice but to walk by her side.
besides the families that came to visit because of their children, you and sevika are definitely the oldest here. it’s a little embarrassing, and you would expect sevika to feel the same. but when you look at her, she looks unbothered.
she’s busy taking it all in, eyes going from one colorful attraction to the other. it’s like she’s never seen so many colors at once.
as much as she tries to act, you see a crack in her expression. the small furrow between her dark eyebrows, her lips jutted out in a thoughtful pout. she looks younger, more alive than you’ve ever seen her.
“you look like you’re seeing colors for the first time,” you poke fun at her, but there is nothing but fondness in your tone.
sevika snaps from her daze hearing your voice. “i’ve… never been to an amusement park.”
“really? never?” your eyes widen, your head tilting up to look at her. “not even with your parents, or maybe on a date with someone?”
“funny,” sevika scoffs as if you just said the most ridiculous thing. “my mama died when i was a kid, and my old man… let’s say he was never a father of the year.”
oh.
she’s never opened up to you before. not like this.
you feel as sevika’s grip on you loosens little by little, until it slips. but you don’t let her. your smaller hand grabs her, and you pull her back in. she looks surprised when she glances at you, only to be met with a playful smile that dances on your mouth.
“well, we have a lot to catch up on,” you say, and without giving her a chance to speak, you start pulling her to the first stand – candied apples.
sevika cringes when you hand her the sticky apple, and when you force her to take a bite, you chuckle at the expression she makes. she acts like it’s poisonous when handing it back to you, chewing that small piece in her mouth for what feels like ages to her.
but what sevika didn’t except is how seriously you’re taking this.
ride after ride, stand after stand, there probably isn’t nothing that you did make sevika try. cotton candy, tornado potato and god-knows what else that will leave her with a heartburn and a lot of regret tomorrow. and after nearly throwing up the entire contents of her stomach on the pirate ship ride, she knows one thing for sure…
amusement parks are not for her.
“you cut your hair!”
“yeah, i did. couldn’t be bothered tying it up every day,” sevika shrugs, a smirk curling up on her lips. “don’t look so shocked. i thought you said you’d like me with an undercut.”
“i’m gonna miss that silly little ponytail,” you let out a sigh, your hand reaching out to brush her hair from her eyes.
“you don’t know what you want, woman,” she groans at you, pushing your hand away from her hair.
the last thing sevika wants is to show how flustered your touch leaves her.
you probably don’t even realize what effect you are having on her over the past days, how open you’re making her be. never in her life has she worn her heart on her sleeve for someone, with how many people have treated her like shit.
no one but you. she would let you rip it out her hands and stab it for all she cares, if it proves how hard she loves you. how unbelievably happy you make her feel.
sevika still tries to keep her walls up; old habits die hard. yet every time you smile at her, touch her, even do something as small as looking at her with those sparkly eyes of yours.
how could she ever let you go that day?
“i also noticed something,” you mutter suddenly, catching sevika’s attention.
“what?”
“you don’t smell like cigarettes anymore,” you observe.
“yeah, i stopped. i know how much you hated it when i smoked,” she says with a grin, her hands slowly coming to rest on your waist. “said i smelled like burnt shit and my lungs are probably like charcoal.”
“was i wrong, though?”
“shut up, smart ass.”
“after you, old lady,” you wink at her, earning you an eye roll from sevika.
“always gotta have the final word,” she mutters, her grip on you tightening ever so slightly.
and sevika can’t be any happier that you’re letting her touch you like this again. you’re so close, so warm, so perfect against her. sunshine caresses your features, enhancing her favorite parts of you.
and you?
you’re falling in love all over again, if not even more than before. each day you spend with her is magical. whether it’s a date night by lit candles and fancy dinner, or a simple walk around town after work, you appreciate everything she does.
you cannot deny the gash left on your heart after what sevika has done, perhaps that will never truly heal. it might wake you up randomly one night, seeding doubts deep into your mind. but you can finally believe that sevika will be by your side if that ever happens.
“you look good, though,” you whisper to sevika after a moment of silence, pressing yourself tighter to her side. “it suits you. makes you look… younger, in a way.”
“are you saying i looked old before?” sevika glares down at you, warning you to choose your words wisely.
but you only tease her further, “…maybe.”
“brat.”
“oldie.”
a snort escapes her, smiling so widely you can see that gap between her teeth you can’t help but be so mesmerized by. she clears her throat to pretend she didn’t just laugh at your silly nickname, only if her eyes didn’t have that glimmer in them. it exposes her fully, and she lets it be.
for you, sevika refuses to hide.
“you know, you never told me why you approached me that night,” sevika looks at you as she chews on the piece of steak in her mouth.
her voice is the only thing snapping you from your trance. the meal in front of you – far too fancy for your tastes – has gotten lukewarm as it sits nearly untouched on a plate. you’re not sure if sevika has realized it yet, how intensely you watch her. admiring how she looks in the dim light, the candle on the table enhancing her perfect imperfections.
“oh, that?” you chuckle, taking a bite of a potato wedge. “just my friends being pushy and dramatic.”
“oh? so you’re saying you wouldn’t approach me without your friends’ approval?” she smirks at you.
“the opposite, actually. i didn’t need their approval or permission.”
“so you really don’t listen to anyone but yourself,” sevika sighs, more amused and exasperated then annoyed.
“excuse me? i listen to you,” you retort, jabbing the back of her flesh hand with the handle of the steak knife.
“sure, you do.”
“come on, that was one time. i was stressed out, okay?”
“one time, my ass,” she rolls her eyes when you groan. “it was at least seven times. and by the time you were done, neither of us could move for thirty minutes straight.”
“not my fault you can’t handle it,” you mutter under your breath, loud enough for sevika to catch it, earning you a glare.
“weren’t you the one who passed out in the puddle of your own c–“
“shut up!” your loud panic makes others turn to your table, some shaking their heads before returning to their meals.
you take a sip of wine, hiding just how flustered you are behind the glass. you down it in one go, the alcohol warming up your body and going straight into your head.
now you at least have the wine to blame for the warmth emanating from your cheeks.
“they kept pushing me to find someone,” you finally admit, fingers playing with the stem of the wine glass. “i was the only one single at that time, too focused on work, on my future. so i wanted to shut their mouths.”
sevika stops eating, her eyes focused on you. she looks thoughtful, eyebrows furrowing and lips downturned in a frown. but as quickly as the frown appeared, her usual smirk replaces it. “so you just used me to shut their mouths?” she asks you, leaning against the table, her tone ever-so-slightly icy.
“maybe at first,” the admission weighs on your chest, and you look into her eyes to see her reaction. “but after the night we spent together, it turned into something else. i wanted more of you.”
you barely breathe as you await sevika’s reply. the worst-case scenarios flood through your brain, making you sweat under the satin fabric of your blouse. she’s quiet for far too long, and the way her brows twitch makes the tension even worse.
just as you’re about to try and say something, she lets out a breathy laugh.
“you’re an idiot, sweetheart.”
sweetheart. you haven’t heard that in a while, yet it still makes your heart jump in your chest like the first time.
“says the one who breaks up with someone through text,” you bite the inside of your lip, attempting to hide the growing smile.
and sevika just groans, “touché.”
the month is over with a blink of an eye, and before you know it, today is the last day of sevika’s promise. the last day which will determine the next step in your and sevika’s relationship.
and you’re nervous. it only dawns on you as you stand before her house, looking exactly the same as the last day you’ve been here. the day before she sent you that stupid text message. today will be different, though. you tell yourself it will. you wouldn’t spend a whole month to find out sevika has been leading you on.
…right?
nerves play tricks with you, poke fun at you and push you around. bullying you into overthinking.
you haven’t expected to feel this way on a last day, not after everything sevika has done for you. she’s proved herself more times in a single month that she’s truly serious about this, serious about you – making you feel guilty about doubting her after doing so much.
she’s gone as far as to stop smoking for you. that’s something, right?
yet as you knock on her door, your throat suddenly tightens and you cannot breathe. you’re drowning at the bottom of the ocean, water filling your lungs as you helplessly gasp for air.
the door opens after a minute of your internal struggle, revealing sevika. her presence reels you back to the shore, grounding you, making you feel safe. doubt makes way for relief, leaving you with a deep breath out.
she doesn’t let you stand by the door for long. with her mech hand snaking around your waist, she leads you inside, the door closing behind you with a soft click. immediately, your nose is hit with a delicious scent of homemade food – your favorite. and only then you notice the apron wrapped around sevika’s waist.
“an apron, huh? real homey,” your fingers pulls at the string around her neck, toying with it. “what’s next? gonna start baking cookies?”
“might as well. then stuff them in your mouth so you’ll shut up,” she mutters as her hands work you out of your jacket before leading you into the kitchen.
and the sight makes you gasp.
it’s nothing like you have expected from sevika. sure, she has mentioned that she’s planning something ‘really special’ on the last day, but you thought she was just joking around with you.
clearly she didn’t joke about this.
you never guessed yourself to be the romantic type, mostly because no one has ever tried to go out of their way to treat you like a princess. yet sevika has done all of it and more, and now you’re surrounded by a fantastic smell of her cooking, candles lit up on the table, flower petals scattered on the floor. all that basic cliché stuff.
coming from sevika, though, this is more than just a silly movie cliché. you know what kind of woman she is, and that nothing of this is her thing. but for you, she did it. she did everything.
“hope you like it,” she doesn’t sound so confident anymore, almost as if she’s afraid of rejection.
“as cheesy as this all is, it’s still the best thing someone has done for me,” your voice softens, not at all as teasing like a minute ago.
you lean in closer until your lips lightly touch her cheek, a barely-there kiss, though enough to hear sevika gasp. before you can even react, her warm hand cups the back of your head, pulling you in for a desperate kiss.
her full lips move against yours like she’s starving for you, all tongue and spit and groans. sevika has been far too patient, holding herself back for the right moment. this is the best moment for her to show you just how she’s missed you.
unlike those two years ago, her hands don’t travel under your clothes to strip you as quick as possible. she just kisses you. barely comes up to catch her breath before she’s back on you, whining in your mouth like an overgrown puppy. her usually deep, gruff voice is a little higher pitched, and it makes you weak in the knees.
sevika never whimpered. you only ever got her to curse, grunt and pant. whimpering was off the table, no matter what you did. until now, and you plan to enjoy it.
she pulls away when both of you begin to get carried away, a string of saliva connecting her mouth with yours. it’s a hot sight, seeing sevika so drunk on you, and it’s only the start of the night.
“c’mon… before the food gets cold,” she whispers, a little breathless, guiding you to sit down.
“no,” you stop her, pushing her back against the wall with all your strength – which is a lot. “i want you now. we can eat the food later.”
sevika wants to argue. she’s worked hard on this, made it all perfect just for you. but how can she fight this when you’re peppering her jaw with kisses, mumbling sweet words against her skin? she won’t admit it to a single living soul she knows how you have her melting. you turn her brain into mush, thinking of you and only you.
“okay,” is all sevika whispers before gathering you in her arms, hands on your ass, lips connected with your in a messy dance of tongues as she leads you to her bedroom.
she stumbles a few times, hits the doorframe a little too hard when she kicks open the door, but it’s only a mild inconvenience when it has you giggling against her mouth. it softens any frustration from her expression, curses dying on her tongue as she’s about to utter them. she’s dreamed of hearing you laugh like that again, in a moment like this.
slowly setting you down on the bed, your legs dangling off the edge, she starts working your pants down. they slide off with ease, leaving your underwear on for now. she doesn’t want to rush this, even when you’re bucking your hips in the air, desperate for some action.
“let me take it slow tonight,” sevika whispers, cupping your face to kiss you again. more gentle this time.
“fuck, sev. i’m – mmhm – not playing slow tonight,” you try to get her off, push her under you, but it’s futile the second she lays her weight on top of you, pressing you into the mattress effectively.
“still so fucking needy,” she chuckles into your mouth before moving her kisses to your neck. “didn’t change a bit, huh?”
her mouth finds your weak spots easily, and she takes her sweet time with each hickey she leaves on your skin. she remembers how sensitive your neck is, because of course, she does. she has you writhing under her without trying much, making you moan like a virgin.
your fingers thread through sevika’s hair, tugging and pulling at the strands just so you can hear her hiss. she always enjoyed getting lightly bruised. back scratches, bites and hickeys, even hand prints if the two of you were feeling friskier than usual.
good to know that didn’t change.
moans and gasps fill the bedroom, mostly coming from you. your body tingles under her every touch, every brush of her warm hand, every kiss that marks your skin. you can hardly focus on anything else besides sevika’s body on yours, caressing you like she used to.
when she comes up to kiss you again, tongue probing your mouth, you busy yourself with taking her shirt off. you nearly tear it in half because of the buttons, cursing under your breath before successfully slipping it off her broad shoulders and dropping it on the floor.
it’s when sevika finally pulls away from you, giving you a moment to catch a breath as she works her prosthetic off. she sets it on the nightstand by the bed while her flesh hand slips under your top.
it’s not long before you’re both naked, tangled in the bedsheets as you continue taking this slow. agonizingly slow.
the wetness between your legs is uncomfortable by this point, your clit is throbbing and begging for attention. and sevika is purposely avoiding your glistening cunt, her fingers and mouth kissing and touching every part of you except where you need her the most. it’s killing you.
“sevika, i’m gonna start yelling if you don’t- holy fuck!” your eyes nearly roll back into your skull as sevika’s mouth wraps around your clit, making your heels dig into the mattress.
“still tastes so good,” she mutters into your sopping cunt, letting out noises like a woman starved.
she’s loud and desperate as she eats you out, spit mixing with your arousal until you can’t tell which is dripping down on the sheets. her tongue slides and swirls around your swollen bud, mind set on giving it attention until she feels it twitch against her mouth.
sevika will do anything to keep you like you are now. your shaky legs squeezing her head. hands in her hair to push her further in. eyes locked with sevika’s, all glassy with unshed tears. a sight engraved deep in her mind for so long, yet tonight is the most special one.
“missed this,” she pulls away from your clit, laughing when you whine in protest. she kisses your tummy as an apology. “missed you. never letting you go again.”
a smile breaks out on your lips, head raising from the pillow to look at her. “i’ll have to kill you if you do.”
“i’d like to see you try.”
“you’re pushing your luck, sev.”
“i know,” sevika goes back to your clit, kissing the throbbing bud and sucking it into her mouth.
each brush of her tongue against your pussy has your body trembling, pushing you closer to the edge. your moans get more frantic, voice growing high-pitched. it only makes sevika work harder, diving into your folds until she can barely breathe. she will happily suffocate if it means she gets to see you crumble all thanks to her skillful, greedy mouth.
“come for me, baby. give it to me,” her voice is hoarse and muffled, vibrating against your needy clit.
and you do. you come all over her mouth, grinding your hips into her face until you’re left overstimulated. sevika licks you clean, drinking your juices like a sweet nectar she so desperately needs.
“fuck,” you gasp for air when you feel sevika pull away, a grin setting on your face. “forgot how good you are with your mouth.”
you pull her on top of you again, arms wrapping around her head to keep her close. her body blankets yours now, shielding you from anything that isn’t her, because nothing else matters at this moment for either of you. not now, or ever.
“and i forgot how loud you can be,” she’s lying just to tease you, and you can tell by the smirk on her face.
sevika would never forget that about you.
“we both know i can be even louder than that. i’m just saving it for later,” you press a kiss to her lips, tasting yourself on her.
sevika lets out a tender chuckle against your mouth but leaves her comments to herself. at least for now. she still is far from done with you.
“hold your leg up.”
you listen to her command without a second thought, grabbing the back of your knee to bring it to your chest. your soaked cunt suddenly makes contact with hers, and it makes both of you hiss. sevika wastes no time to roll her hips against yours, clit on clit, moaning deeply against you.
she falls apart immediately, chasing that sweet high she only ever experienced with you. her broad body is trembling above yours, lips quivering, eyebrows knitted. she’s melting like a lit up candle, and before she realizes it, a tear falls down on your cheek.
she is crying. sevika is crying.
no sobs leave her, but her breaths are shaky and her moans come out broken. it takes you so off guard you almost forget about the sensation of her pussy rubbing against yours.
“shit,” sevika gasps, her eyes squeezing shut. “i- i’m sorry, i… i just can’t believe how stupid i was letting you go. i should’ve never…”
she’s rambling now, a mess of a woman that only you get to witness. she’s never opened up to anyone like this, stripping herself bare of all the protective barriers she kept on to protect herself.
“shh…” you shush her, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “just focus on this. on us.”
your words spur sevika on, her hips rutting against you with unabashed hunger. she buries her face into your neck, muffling noises into your skin. she doesn’t bother controlling the volume of her voice. she needs to let you know how good she’s feeling because of you.
her muscles tighten, and her moves get sloppier as the knot begins to form in the pit of her belly. her arm engulfs your right side to pull you as close as she can, whining against your cheek.
then, with a loud groan, sevika comes against you. her body shakes in your arms as she rides out her high before collapsing beside you, her fingers finding your clit to push you over the edge.
“oh, fuck… fuck!” your second orgasm hits you like a punch, wracking through your body until you nearly pass out.
sevika pulls you into her chest, peppering kisses against your temple as you curl into her chest. none of you speak for what feels like hours, comforting silence covering you like a protective blanket.
you could get used to this.
it’s only after you two calm down does sevika break the silence. “think i pulled my hip there.”
“after one round? you’re really getting old, sev,” you snort.
“oh, i forgot you’re getting younger,” you can’t see her, but you can practically hear the eye roll in her voice.
“i’m still younger than you.”
“oh, don’t worry. it’ll all go downhill after thirty,” you smack her on the back after that comment, pulling her head back to frown up at her.
“so funny,” you grumble.
“you love it.”
“unfortunately.”
you two fall quiet once more. sevika’s eyes are locked with yours, her thumb rubbing gentle circles against the plumpness of your cheek. you lean into her touch, pressing a gentle kiss into her palm. a small gesture that makes sevika’s heart jolt in her chest.
you barely catch the words that leave sevika next, but she repeats them. those three words you once only hoped you’d hear from her but it never came.
“i love you,” she can’t take this back now, and she doesn’t want to. she won’t be a coward like last time.
“i love you, too, sevika. i never stopped,” you admit softly, fingers brushing strands of sevika’s short hair away from her eyes.
she smiles, relieved. “i always loved you. i was… so fucking stupid back then. i let you go thinking it was better for you, but i guess i was just terrified of a relationship, knowing you could settle for someone better.”
“i told you, didn’t i? i know what i want in life,” you whisper, giving sevika a chaste kiss on her mouth. “and i want you.”
“good, ‘cause i want you, too.”
she pulls you in, locking her lips with yours. it’s tender and full of love, nothing like the clash of teeth and tongues you were used to with her. it warms you up like a sip of warm tea on a cold morning, soothes your heart like a gentle caress. perfect in every way even after sevika pulls away.
“this is nice,” you whisper.
“yeah,” she whispers back, kissing your forehead. “the dinner is probably cold now, though.”
“i’m not hungry. not for food, anyway,” your lips curl up in a grin, making sevika groan.
“you’re gonna put me into a grave,” she complains, but she doesn’t fight it when you roll over, pinning her under you.
“you can handle it, old lady,” you take her hand in yours, pressing the palm to your cheek.
“don’t know about that.”
but as sevika watches you on top of her, cheek nuzzled into her rough palm, she is as soft as a jelly cake.
and sevika knows she’s right where she wants to be.
