Because I write so very slowly but also who knows if I’ll ever finish, here’s a part of the streddie I’m writing
Stan is sitting with the others around a table that is way too small for seven people, sharing burgers and fries. On his left, Mike is eating silently, nodding and humming to whatever Ben is currently telling him. He is the only one not eating; None of the others has said anything, but everyone has noticed. (It would be another two months before Bill first brings up the topic of eating disorders, one night in hushed whispers, and four months before Ben admits to having an unhealthy relationship with food) On the other side, facing Ben, Bill and Beverly are arguing about what sauce is the best for dipping chicken nuggets in. Bill is a strong supporter of sweet and sour sauce, and Beverly – ‘’W-What is wrong with you, Bev?’’ – dips hers in honey. Bill is offended, disgusted, and a little in love, all at once. Ben stops what he is saying to grin at the two of them, laughing when the argument escalades to Beverly gathering all the containers of sweet and sour sauce and dropping them in the designated trash tray™ in the middle of the table. Bill’s scandalised expression makes the three others laugh.
Stan isn’t noticing any of this, though. Instead, he is not so subtly very subtly staring at the two losers sitting across from him, remembering every minute or so to take a bit out of his burger so no one notices how distracted he is. Eddie’s face is red, and he is visibly holding back a laugh into his chicken sandwich. He shakes his head, willing his expression to remain neutral, but his eyes betray him. Next to him, Richie’s stealing fries from everyone across the table (Except for Stan. The cold look he’s given Richie when he tried to take some from his tray a few minutes earlier seems to have worked), leaning back against the wall of the booth and feeding jokes into Eddie’s ear. It looks like an old, perfected routine – it is! – and anyone who doesn’t know the losers as well as they do themselves won’t notice the difference with how it’s always been, but Stan can see it alright. The way Eddie leans slightly to the side with every joke, their heads almost touching, the way the slightest hint of pink is showing on Richie’s face, the way Stan knows, without even looking, that their ankles are touching, it’s all there.
It’s distressing to say the least.
Both Eddie and Richie have sworn countless times to the other losers that it wouldn’t change anything, that they had, after all, already been dating for years without noticing it, but it does change things. It changes everything. Now, during movie nights, the two people actually watching the movie in its entirety (Mike and Stanley) can’t look on either side of the room without catching couples kissing. When they meet up, Eddie and Richie always arrive together and leave together. They also no longer have group sleepovers at Eddie’s, which had been a rarity, even before, and instead double the amount they have at Ben’s and Richie’s houses.
(Ben’s parents seem to know about the two boys, but still let the whole gang sleep in the basement – even Beverly, who still isn’t allowed to stay at Bill’s – and Richie’s parents either don’t know or don’t care)
More importantly, it seems like both Richie and Eddie never have time to spend with the other losers when it’s not a group hangout. Stanley and Richie used to have a weekly night in where they worked on homework together and talked about everything and anything until they both fell asleep. These nights weren’t technically supposed to be sleepovers, but Richie’s mom never came upstairs to check if he was gone and so he spent the night more often than not. Stanley also spent a lot of time with Eddie, before. He was, with Ben and Mike, one of the only losers willing to accompany him on nature walks and bird watching; the rest of his friends either became too antsy before long (Richie and Beverly) or had parents who straight out refused to let them go into the woods without adult supervision (Bill). Eddie certainly would have been a part of that last category had it been anyone but Stan he was going with. Almost miraculously, Mrs. K had let her son follow along with him – after telling both Eddie and Stan about how dangerous the woods can be, how it’s full of diseases and dirt, and in an almost pleading tone asking ‘’you’ll make sure you don’t touch anything over there, right boys?’’ to which both had nodded silently. Every time they planned on going, she packed two full days worth of medication, enough food to last for almost a week and never let Eddie go without having him promise to call her right after getting back to Stan’s house, and to be home by seven.
Stanley didn’t like Mrs. K much, but she seemed to think he was the most reasonable out of all the other losers, and he couldn’t argue with that.
The last time Eddie and Stan had gone bird watching together had been a month ago, and there was still no news on when the next one would take place, if it ever did. So yes, Stanley is mad, and with reason. He feels like he’s losing his friends in a way he hadn’t felt when Ben pulled him aside, last year, and announced that he wouldn’t have as much time for their board game nights because he was still getting used to not being single anymore. He thinks it is unfair that they both get to spend almost all their time together while he barely sees them anymore. If a slight pull in his chest tells him that there’s another sadder, deeper reason as to why he feels so mad and jealous, Stan ignores it entirely.
He is still looking at the boys when, a couple of minutes later, Mike taps him on the shoulder. He tells him he’s going to the washroom and ask if he wants to come with. His tone is light, but his eyes are worried. Stanley nods before standing up as well. Richie makes a joke – out loud this time – about them being a bunch of girls for going to the bathroom together, and while it only earns him groans and headshakes from the other losers, Stan feels his heart lighten up a bit.
As soon as the door shuts behind them, Mike turns to Stanley, frowning.
- Yes, of course. Why are you asking?
The other nods towards the door, his voice dropping down to barely above a whisper.
- We’ve been talking, Ben and I….we noticed how it seems to be affecting you.
- What has? Stanley asks.
This is starting to look like an intervention to Stan, and as he looks at Mike it can see the look in his friend’s eyes. He is feeling bad for him. The two share a long look. Stanley knows that Mike means well, and definitely knows what he is talking about, but admitting that two of his closest friends dating makes him jealous is not an option. While Stan holds the greatest trust in Mike, his admission that he’s been talking to Ben means that he would tell the other boy whatever Stan admits (‘Which is a good thing. Your friends are worried about you, and you should be thankful, Stanley’). Ben knowing means Bill and Bev knowing, and, possibly, Richie and Eddie knowing. That he’s uncomfortable and mad. About them dating. Which would be the absolute worst case scenario. This last thought is what decides him to shake his head and smile.
- You know what? I don’t really want to talk about this now. Thanks for caring though.
Mike nods along, but the weird look from earlier remains in his eyes.
- Alright. You know you can talk to us – any of us – anytime.
Before they leave the washroom and go back to their friends, Mike hugs him. A short, grounding heart, that reassures Stan. Everything will be fine. They are the losers, the lucky seven, and this will not be what breaks them apart…
