The voices of Hmong women are changing--slowly, but it is changing. As a child growing up, I felt unequal to my only brother. There were eight girls in my family and I was one of the oldest. I was train to become a homemaker, which required early training from cleaning, cooking and doing paj ntau. My Grandma's favorite line was "Lazy, you guys wouldn't last three days before they send you back!" That was to encourage us to work hard and diligently. I just remember being so resentful to becoming a Hmong Nyab (bride) because that could mean that my freedom would be stripped away from me. I have seen it many times where young Hmong women who had dreams and goals suddenly had to put them aside to serve their family--- That is very selfless of them. I did not want to do that. I did not want to become just a homemaker. I did not want to just serve my family (Which there is nothing wrong with that), but I wanted to keep dreaming because I am a human being with dreams and goals too.
I had a dream at a young age to become a Hmong film director---to improve Hmong movies. My parents were very against me doing such thing because I was a girl. I had dropped out of college and traveled for a couple of years, which my parents were horrified and truly disappointed in me because education is such a highly values and coveted thing within the Hmong culture. However, it was during my times of travels when I realized what I wanted.
Today, I am an aspiring fashion designer. That may sounds confusing as to how I ended up in fashion, but I have done it all along. I learned the art of sewing pai natu (flower cloth) at the tender age of 6. I remember vividly watching my mom and my older sisters hunched over and sewing all day long. How did I find that fun? I don't know, but I wanted to learn. My mom made me practice sewing straight lines until I could get it perfect---all the stitches would line up making perfect little x's. After my grandma made me finish my first set of Hmong clothes, I never did it again. I had enough of the tedious cross-stitching at the age of 10. I started making little clothes for my rag dolls and then I started making costumes for our epic home videos. And from there, I started my journey of clothes making. I designed costumes for our home videos and wanted to have a hand in movie costumes. Although, I never had the chance to do it professionally, I have found a different path for designs.
It was not until I became pregnant with my daughter that I took my sewing more seriously. I wanted to go somewhere with sewing and become good at it. I started designing clothes and practice honing my sewing skills. This year, 2015, has a big push for me, I made a couple mini collections, and did my first runway show. Doing the fashion show was a very inspiring experience for me. It gave me a chance to reach out and meet other Hmong designers, and artists out there in the community that I've become a little detached from since I live in Indiana where there's a very small Hmong population. However, I still have a long way learn and go from here. I am just glad I am doing what I love.
I want to help change the voices of Hmong women. I want to be a part of encouraging Hmong women that we are more than just homemakers. We should not be limited to what our society wants us to become, but more importantly, we should not limit ourselves and our own desires to become better.
