#sexiquette

[satans-porno-director]

Proper Etiquette in an Adult Store/Erotic Shop Part 2

Since the major holidays have passed (thanksgiving, christmas, VALENTINES) I figured I would make a part 2

1) Put your phone down when you enter the store

When you enter the store and the cashier greets you, whether they are working with someone or not, take the .2 seconds to greet them back. Don't be rude, be polite. I know I have personally greeted many people who have walked in while talking on their phones and ignored me and I will repeatedly greet them until they answer.

2) We can definitely see you

Despite common knowledge, you aren't a ninja. So when you try to hide from us to open a package, we can hear you. It's like goddamn echolocation to us.

3) We don't have a back room full of stuff

Majority of the time whatever we order, fits on the floor. So we don't have some secret Narnia lookin back storage room full of things you're requesting.

4) Some places accept tips

No I don't mean tips on how to make our ass look like Kim K's. Or tips for illegal services for that matter. What I mean is, if you buy something and you feel like the person who helped you out did a great job and you want to tip them a dollar or two that is totally fine. If you're unsure for your area you can always ask.

5) No we don't make commission

I have gotten this question multiple times. We do not make commission. So whether you bought something worth $20 or over $100, we don't make anything off of that. Where I work I make $9 an hour, I'm not sure what it is for other places but we do not make commission, just our pay checks.

6) Female employees can only help so much

Gentlemen, listen carefully for a minute. When you come in for a pump, masturbators, enhancements, etc. We can only help so much. The minute you hit us with the "in your personal opinion, how good does it feel" or anything along those lines is the minute you'll get a "are you serious?" face. Many a times I have looked directly down towards my pelvis and said "well I wouldn't know."

7) Stop humping each other in the store

You aren't at the club and you aren't in the bedroom and I assume you aren't wild animals in heat so knock it off and wait until you're are your destination.

8) Respect the others in the store

You know how you get annoyed with those loud people at restaurants who are hootin and hollering? Yeah, don't do that in the store. You look rediculous when you do I and we have the right to kick you out of you continue to be obnoxious after we've asked you to stop.

[satans-porno-director]

Proper Etiquette in an Adult Store/Erotic Shop

When I’m working I come across many different people but there are more rude and annoying customers than well behaved ones. So, I’m creating this to help you not be a twat the next time you visit one of these stores.

1.) The employees don’t want to flirt or sleep with you.

Unless they are clearly making a pass at you as well and offering you their number, chances are they don’t see you as a potential partner. So take the rejection like a grown up and move along.

2.) No we (the employees) don’t want to test out whatever product you bought with you in any way.

If its battery operated or rechargeable we will verify it works before selling it to you. Other than that, you can go fuck right the hell off by yourself outside of the store.

3.) If you are wanting to purchase something behind the counter please make sure you know that name of it, the strength, or even the color of the product.

Otherwise, you aren’t going to have an in and out visit. Instead you’ll be there until we can finally figure out which one you decided to point to. Speak up, vocalize what you want, and be on your merry way.

4.)Do not enter the store if you are intoxicated in any way, even if it’s slight.

Even though you may not think you’re behaving in any way but normal, chances are you’re being disruptive by being loud, wanting to touch everything even though we told you no, or wanting to be argumentative.

5.) No returns.

I honestly do not know why you think it is okay to try and return any item you bought from the store and then get pissy when we tell you we can’t exchange it or do returns. Easiest way to explain it is if you visited an adult shop and wanted to by let’s say a vibrator, would you feel comfortable knowing someone else had bought it and returned it? More than likely no. And we also do not want to handle 99% of things that leave the store and you try to return it.

6.) The store isn’t your playground.

Honestly, I don’t care if you are the world’s most experienced sex addict who’s tried literally everything in the store. Do not try out the paddles or whips on whomever you brought in with you, do not over talk the employee and speak to them as if they are stupid, and don’t be a dick.

7.) Stop opening boxes and packages to a product you probably aren’t even going to buy.

More than likely there are signs in the store telling you to ask a clerk for assistance or to not open products. Bring it up to the employee working and ask to see the item nicely. When you open the packages yourself you are tampering with it and in a way making it dirty and disgusting. Employees are required to sanitize their hands before opening a package so you don’t get germs or whatever. You also risk damaging the product, remember: you break it you buy it.

8.) The employees are humans too

Just because we work there doesn’t make us a prostitute or a druggie so do not treat us like the lowest piece of scum on the planet. We are there to help you keep your sex life going,not be treated like trash.

9.) Stop being an asshole because you’re embarrassed

Real talk? No one cares what you’re buying. Not the employees, not the other customers, not even Frank the imaginary elephant. Everyone’s minding their own business and really aren’t interested in what you’re buying. So you’re kinky? Okay, good for you. You only like vanilla things? That’s fine too. You want to buy the thickest double ended dildo? Okay, will you be needing any lube,toy cleaner, or condoms?

10.) Just act like you would in any other store

Unless you’re a loud mouthed, foul attitude equipped prick. Then I would say be on your best behavior like you’re at your grannie’s who knows how to wield a wooden spoon and give you a good smackin on your hand for being an ass.