I wanted to write you a birthday fic, but time and inspiration has not been on my side so far, so maybe once I’ve caught up with all the chapters of your amazing fic, I might be able to write something that fits.
Until then, what has found the way out of my heart through my typing fingers is just a tiny moment out of a specific time or setting, just a sense of them, a little piece of peace if you will:
Your light’s the only thing that keeps the cold out
There’s no sense, but the feeling of rhythm which is maybe the closest Shi De will ever get to taming this, enduring it, all that’s tangled up inside.
Fingers carding through the hair along the nape of his neck, and suddenly everything seems to follow their pulses of direction, aligns and dives, rises and falls with every touch.
There’s no sense, no real resolution, only sensation and somehow, it’s enough. Good enough. To let him breathe. And be.
Shu Yi’s touch pulls it up to his skin, all that doesn’t fit and obey, and makes it bearable, graspable, treatable somehow, his touch is just louder that anything.
And how could he ever tell anybody about this?
Because what kind of power is this?
Whose is it? Power that is had over Shi De or power he gives away, or the unthinkable mix of the two that makes this the singular thing it is?
It’s healing with no understanding as to how, but maybe that is just how they are meant to be.
They are pure reprieve, those moments out of time, when Shu Yi touches him.
9. + 31. Lydia/Izzy? no worries if you don't want to or can't think of something x
9. “You’re in love with her”
31. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they’re you.”
Thank you so much for this prompt! I adore writing Lydia/Izzy and this kind of cured my writers block. I hope you like it!!
Isabelle wrenches herself away from the werewolf woman she’d been kissing. The club’s bass rings loud in her ears and the woman looks back at Izzy in confusion.
Izzy blinks against the darkness. The woman is pretty, beautiful even. Blonde hair falling over her eyes and the hint of a smile on full lips.
She reminds Izzy too much of what she’s losing.
“I—I’m sorry, I need to go,” Izzy gets out feeling like she can barely breathe.
The woman takes the rejection easily enough, nodding and letting Izzy walk off the dance floor. Izzy all but collapses against the bar, trying to take a deep breath.
Fucking hell.
She is Isabelle Lightwood. She should not be this undone by one girl. One stupid girl who was never going to stay. Izzy knew that from the start, and yet somehow she’d let herself fall anyway.
“Alec said you’d be here.”
Izzy spins around and her heart jumps into her throat when she finds Lydia standing next to her at the bar.
Fucking Alec. He needs to leave this alone. “Alec’s an ass who should mind his own business.” Izzy retorts, looking anywhere but Lydia’s face.
“Isabelle—“
Izzy gasps in a breath that’s more painful than it should be. “Don’t Isabelle me,” she grits out, “You’re leaving tomorrow.”
“I know.”
It’s all she says. Nothing about the past five months. About how in these last few weeks Izzy had felt like maybe something had changed. That maybe this wasn’t just about the sex. Obviously she’d been the only one.
“So, nothing matters,” Izzy gets out, “It was just for fun. We had our fun. Now you’re leaving. It’s fine.”
You’re in love with her. Izzy’s brain supplies. She wishes it would shut up.
Izzy still refuses to look at her. She can’t. She can’t look into Lydia’s eyes and delude herself into thinking she sees any sort of affection there. No. Not again.
“Izzy, look at me,” Lydia’s hand on Izzy’s arm feels like fire and Izzy almost pulls herself away. “Iz please, we need to talk about this.”
Anger lights, hot and feral in Izzy’s chest. Why does Lydia get to remain rational? Izzy feels like the world is falling apart and Lydia can just stand here, hand steady on Izzy’s arm. It’s not fair.
Izzy finally looks at her.
“What do you want me to say, Lyds? That I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you?”
Lydia actually looks pained at that. Good. Let her feel some pain for once. Izzy’s been bearing this all on her own the past weeks and she’s not sure she has room for any more.
She doesn’t even care that she’s probably said too much. Revealed too much. It doesn’t matter anyway. Lydia is still leaving tomorrow.
“Izzy,” Lydia says, wrapping fingers around Izzy’s wrist. They press against Izzy’s pulse point, a familiar intimate gesture that Izzy had thought actually meant something at one point.
Izzy closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to look at Lydia’s face. She knows she’ll find affection there and that’s the problem. Lydia does care about her, just not in the way Izzy wants.
Lydia tugs on Izzy’s arm and Izzy surrenders to it because she’s weak and if this is the last time she gets to have Lydia, she’s going to take it. Wordlessly, she lets herself be pulled into a kiss that is both sweet and heartbreaking all at once.
When they pull apart, Lydia’s hands come up to cup Izzy’s face, keeping her close.
“What are you doing?” Izzy demands.
“Getting you to listen for one goddamn second,” Lydia says. Her thumb swipes over Izzy’s bottom lip and she lets out a breath that ghosts over Izzy’s chin.
Izzy steels herself for the rejection. Of the apology that Lydia can’t be what Izzy wants. Because surely, if she hadn’t known already she knows now that Izzy loves her. Izzy waits for the ‘I’m sorry I don’t love you the way you want.’
“I’m in love with you, Isabelle Lightwood.” Is what Lydia says instead.
Her eyes remain trained on Izzy, bright and defiant. Izzy has spent hours watching Lydia, trying to memorize every bit of her. “You—“ Izzy starts, floored, “you’re not lying.”
Lydia lets out a breathy laugh, pressing their foreheads together. “Of course I’m not lying. I am stupidly in love with you,” she says, “I have been for a long time now.”
Izzy scrambles to get her thoughts in order. This is not what she’d expected.
“But you’re leaving,” she blurts out.
Lydia goes back to Idris tomorrow morning. Her five month long stint at the New York Institute to help Alec out is over and she’s going back to Idris and the life waiting for her there. They’d just been friends with benefits. Izzy had believed that once Lydia was gone, it was all over.
“I know I’m leaving,” Lydia says, “but that doesn’t mean this has to end. I want to do this right this time. Not just hookups. I want real. With you. If you’ll have me.”
Izzy huffs a quiet laugh, not quite believing it. “Of course I’ll have you.”
Lydia smiles so wide that Izzy’s heart expands in her chest. This time she smiles into the kiss Lydia pulls her into.
🏆🎆 An Award for the Loveliest of Writers 🎆🏆What you create for the world is loved and deserves recognition for all of your hard work and passion!! Thank you for sharing your talent—of which is beyond compare ♡ Pass this on to 5 other authors who you think deserve more recognition and appreciation ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, this is such a compliment 💕 I am so flattered and honored!
ahaha any and all of the chris/wesker fics i wrote bc that is (was?) so not my pairing. at all. not even one little bit. but here we are anyway :’D and those were fun to write, negl!
15. something you learned this year
that I am capable of writing longer fics, too. and by longer I don’t mean actual chaptered things that some amazing writers do (😘) but long by my standards. for the longest I only did short tiny little things exclusively and now it feels good that I can consistently do longer things too.
there are a lot of lessons I still need to learn, but I think I’ll keep this positive, and only go with what I did learn :’D
23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t
ohhh man. half of my wips? I still am gonna do those though. I am holding out hope that they’ll get done :’D there’s the childhood friends nivannedy one, the firefighter chreon one, then the mutual pining joe/nicky and a couple of easygoing ones for them, and... yeah my to-do-list is as long as my finished-fics-list :’D
Based loosely on the events of the final episodes of season 1, the story follows the return of Lydia Branwell to the Institute of New York but this time she ends up enjoying her time there and surprisingly she discovers something worth staying around for. Well, someone...
Rare Pair: Lydia Branwell/ Isabelle Lightwood
for @sh-rare-pair-exchange and dedicated to @sfjessii
Today was the day. Maryse had gathered them all late last night, only to inform them that the Clave had sent an envoy of Shadowhunters to stay in the Institute for a while, at least until the attacks instigated by Valentine subsided and Clary knew how to fight better. Isabelle had a feeling her mother knew more than she was telling them but when had that not been the case between them? She had made peace with that a long time ago, that’s why she was now walking the halls leading to the kitchen and pestering Alec for more information on the matter.
“Do we know at least who they are sending?” – Isabelle asked as she walked into the kitchen for a cup of black tea with Alec in tow.
“I only know that we’re getting a couple of additional Shadowhunters to deal with the increasing Downworlders attacks in New York.” – He said and moved to get a cup of coffee for himself.
“How long are they staying for?” – Izzy’s curiosity was one of the things that hadn’t changed since she was a little girl.
“Iz, I literally know what you know. Mom didn’t tell me anything more but until Clary is fully trained and ready, we can’t stand with our hands crossed and wait for the next attack. Valentine’s influence in growing with each day.” – Alec said and sipped from the steaming black liquid in his cup.
“And that is exactly why we’re accepting all the help we can get from the Clave.” – Maryse walked into the kitchen too, fixing her hair and making sure it was tightly gathered in a ponytail.
The opening of the heavy institute doors alerted them than the new arrivals were already here and Maryse ushered Isabelle and Alec out of the kitchen to meet the newcomers and see who their new teammate would be.
Time seemed to stop for a second when the Lighwood siblings saw the person standing in front of everyone else, black pants, tactical shoes and a light brown blazer, head standing high and with hair carefully braided there stood none other than Lydia Branwell.
It’s been a little over three months since the most disastrous wedding of the Shadow world, or at least since the infamous wedding ceremony of Alec Lightwood and Lydia. At first there were many shocked guests and Maryse had almost gotten a heart attack as she saw her son kissing Magnus Bane but now that she had seen how happy her boy is, she was glad he had the courage to stand up for his love.
“You have got to be kidding me.” – Alec murmured under his nose but tried to keep his expression neutral as Lydia approached them. Her stance was just as confident as before even if a tad stiff, her chin holding high but her eyes were filled with uncertainty. It was safe to say that she didn’t feel completely at ease standing there either.
“Maryse. Alec. Isabelle.” – Lydia acknowledged everyone with a curt nod of her head.
“Lydia, we’re happy to have you here. Things have been getting harder to manage with the increasing attacks.” – Maryse spoke first.
“You are all welcome to start patrolling with our teams, each of you has already been assigned to one so go find your teammates.” - She added and the rest of the newcomers scrambled already having heard their orders.
“Lydia you can leave your things and meet Alec and Isabelle here in twenty minutes, you are patrolling tonight.” – Maryse said to Lydia and turned around to go back to her own work, the Clave had sent them ten more people and they didn’t have any time to waste.
“Lydia, can we talk for a second?” – Alec asked, one of his hands rubbing his neck, Izzy could tell her brother was nervous but she got the hint and excused herself.
Seeing Lydia back in the Institute made Isabelle feel a little tense, she wasn’t her biggest fan but after she heard what the blonde said at her trial and the fact that she tried to stop it made her company a little less unpleasant.
Sparing her brother and Lydia one last glance before she went to the armory, Izzy saw Lydia saying something that made Alec let out a small smile and he extended his hand, shaking hers in return before they parted ways.
Their first mission with Lydia was a success, they managed to bring down the four demons without taking any major hits themselves. Lydia might not have been the most talkative person in the world, far from it in fact but it wasn’t as if Izzy and Alec had tried to maintain a conversation going either, the three fought well together and that was enough.
The first week went by quickly, doing most of the same stuff as before, train, patrol, sleep and repeat.
Usually, Alec spent every free moment he had with Magnus and when he stopped by the Institute, he wasn’t surprise to see Lydia training there now. Izzy opted to keep her distance but kept a close eye on Lydia, she hadn’t seen her talk much with her brother since the first day they saw each other again and most of the time they spent together they’d either train or discuss the plan for their next patrol.
Two weeks went by and Izzy could see that everyone still seemed to walk on eggshells around her, beside Alec and Magnus who were actually starting to warm up to her. Most people avoided her because they thought she’d kill them only with her glance and others were simply avoiding her because they knew she’d kick their asses on the training mat and wanted to avoid bruises. During that time,
Isabelle had been watching the blonde woman stick to her own for the entire time she’d been there, she trained on her own, ate on her own and even chilled in the garden on her own. The younger Lightwood was getting curious now and small part of her was starting to feel bad for Lydia. She was a good fighter, she’d even saved Izzy and Alec’s bacons a couple of times already and hadn’t mentioned it after that. It felt like they had fallen into a comfortable routine and their improvised team functioned well.
The fact that Lydia was strikingly beautiful was also a factor that made Izzy keep her distance from her, she didn’t want to complicate the situation even further so she pretended not to notice the glances she received from Lydia when the blonde thought that Izzy wasn’t looking at her. However, the younger Lightwood couldn’t help herself and one foggy Saturday morning she broke her resolve.
The Institute was almost empty, save for the two or three Shadowhunters left that were roaming the halls and the team that was patrolling the streets now, Alec had gone to Magnus’ and Clary was spending the weekend with Jace and Simon, trying to get them not to kill each other. Lydia was alone in the training room, she’d just finished punching the boxing bag and droplets of sweat were falling down the sides of her face. Izzy looked at her as she kicked and punched the bag, she could see the muscles flexing under her skin and Lydia’s focused expression, never breaking contact with her imaginary opponent. Izzy’s mind came up with a tempting idea and she made her way to the weapons rack and then to Lydia, holding steadily a staff in her hands.
“Come on, let’s see what you’ve got,” - Isabelle said as she threw a staff at Lydia, the challenge evident in her voice.
“Are you sure? I won’t go easy on you” - Lydia arched her eyebrow as she saw Izzy getting into position.
“I have no doubt about that but I assure you I can hold my own,” - Isabelle said with a smirk at the end and felt the snake unwrap from her wrist, transforming her electrum whip in a solid staff in the blink of an eye.
And so they began, no slow swings at the beginning like with Clary, no careful movements like with Alec, no time for hesitant attacks like with Jace... Lydia was uninterrupted, fierce chain of movement. She swung her staff over her head and managed to lend a quick hit on Isabelle’s cheek. For a split-second worry flashed in the blonde’s eyes but when she saw Izzy looking at her with fierce determination instead of anger and spite, her worried lessened. The next couple of minutes every attack was met with a block and Isabelle couldn’t help but smile as she finally found an opening and sharply thrusted the end of her staff into Lydia’s stomach, making her tumble backward in pain that only lasted a couple of moments.
“You’re better than I expected.” - Izzy said with another smug smile and watched Lydia regain her position.
“I can say the same thing for you.”- The blonde tried to sound menacing but it was a difficult task to achieve while admitting Izzy was an excellent fighter, perhaps even better than herself. Their rivalry seemed to have shifted into something else in nature.
Lydia was now standing in front of Isabelle, holding her staff in position, her feet began moving as she saw the younger Lightwood circle her. The blonde was the perfect image of control even now, composed and focused even though her breathing was fast and she already had several bruises forming on her skin. Isabelle couldn’t help but let her eyes roam over the blonde’s body, smirking as she saw the other woman struggling to keep her eyes from straying down her figure was well.
“You have a good balance but you cannot control everything.” – Izzy said as she attacked.
Lydia could feel the heat coming off in waves from Isabelle’s body standing so close to her, she could also smell the faint scent of orange blossoms that clang to Izzy’s hair. For a moment her mind got clouded and she missed the way Izzy’s lips curled up as she brought her foot between Lydia’s and sent them both tumbling to the ground. Knocking Lydia’s staff out of her hands, it landed on the other side of the training room, far from her reach as well and now the blonde found herself pinned to the ground with a smirking Isabelle Lightwood on top of her.
Even though Izzy was the shorter one out of the two of them, she held her tightly pinned to the ground now and her self-satisfied smile made Lydia wonder why she had wasted those two weeks until and hadn’t talked with Isabelle on the first day like she did with Alec. She wouldn’t say she and the older Lightwood were friends yet but they were getting there and at least things between them weren’t awkward anymore. Grabbing Lydia by the wrists, Izzy let the staff transform back to a bracelet around her own wrist.
“Do you yield?” – Izzy asked and tightened her grip just to convey her point.
“I don’t give up so easily.” – Lydia said and did something no Shadowhunter had ever tried before, a bold and daring move that nobody had tried in years. She started tickling Izzy and the woman quickly rolled aside and Lydia used the moment to turn their positions.
“That’s cheating!” – Isabelle managed to say between laughs.
“Everything is fair when you’re pinned to the ground.” – Lydia said and secured Izzy’s hand under her. Even though this had started as a fight, it quickly turned into something completely else, even though they’d both tried to actively stay away from each other when they weren’t patrolling, the tension that had now settled between them was too heavy to be ignored. Lydia’s ocean blue eyes were almost black, mirroring the desire that burned in Isabelle’s and their bodies were mere inches apart when Izzy felt the other woman’s erratic heartbeat and…
A loud clash came from the kitchen breaking the moment between them, it seemed Izzy wasn’t the only one that should be prohibited from entering that space without anyone keeping an eye on her, she had only caused a few minor fires anyway.
Lydia moved from on top of Izzy as if she had burned her, she should’ve just yielded when her back hit the ground and save herself from this torture. She quickly got to her feet and was ready to walk away, leaving a stunned Isabelle behind her when she heard Izzy calling after her but decided to ignore her.
“Lydia, wait!” – Isabelle jumped on her feet too and tried to stop the other woman but the blonde’s feet were moving quickly away from her.
Something cold and thin wrapped around Lydia’s wrist and when she brought her hand up to see what it was, she was both frustrated and surprised to see the end of Izzy’s whip coiled around her skin, enough pressure to only make her stop in her tracks as Isabelle approached her.
“You have been avoiding me ever since you came and when you finally talk to me you run away again, what is your problem?” – Izzy asked her, her dark brown eyes now filled with hurt.
“Oh, because you’ve been so welcoming Isabelle?” – Lydia asked rhetorically.
“I just…” – Izzy started but wasn’t sure where to actually start from.
“You know what forget it.” – She said and tried to end the conversation, this time it was she that was walking away.
“I didn’t want to make it weird okay?” – Lydia quickly answered frustrated and saw Isabelle stop and turn to look at her once more.
“Well, weirder at least.” – She added with a small voice and took a deep breath.
“I was the one that almost got you stripped of your runes and I know you didn’t like me before that either and now we were finally starting to work well together... I didn’t want to put at risk the way our team works.” – The blonde explained and saw Izzy cross her hands in front of her, this wasn’t her favorite subject to talk about but it was necessary.
“I saw you not only letting but also encouraging Alec to go with Magnus even though it meant destroying all your chances of leading this Institute and I also heard what you said at my hearing. I know now why you thought you were doing the right thing.” – Izzy admitted.
“Yeah well, turns out Alec wasn’t my type at all.” – Lydia said with a small shake of her head. She didn’t like having to talk about her feelings where everyone could hear her so she tried to deflect with dry humor and started walking away again.
Izzy could feel her heart beating rapidly now, she hadn’t been wrong after all, Lydia seemed to feel the same attraction as her so maybe it was time to clear the air between them once and for all. Swinging with her whip once more, Izzy tugged at Lydia’s arm until she was standing within reach again.
“Can you stop running away every time I try to tell you something or can you only talk to me while you’re on the stand?” – Izzy asked feigning frustration.
“Ugh! Do you expect me to write you a formal apology about that or…?” – Lydia was about to say something more when she felt Isabelle’s lips press against her.
The kiss was slow and hesitant at first but Lydia quickly snapped out of the surprised stupor and kissed her back, feeling Izzy smile against her.
“I expect you to stop brooding alone from now on and let me take you out tonight. It’s not our night to patrol so I can show you around the city and we can do more of this.” – Izzy said as she leaned in for another kiss.
“Deal.” – Lydia managed to say between kisses and felt Isabelle’s hands wrap around her middle, pulling her close. It was a little over three months and two weeks since the most disastrous wedding in the Shadow world and Lydia had never been happier.
You can have the main idea! Because that’s all I have at the moment :D I got stuck, and couldn't even decide what pairing to use. I wanted it to be a scene where Jace lets someone touch his wings, and explains to them why he’s so careful with them.
(warning for Valentine’s F- parenting and a death of a bird)
AU in which angel blood gave Jace wings. Valentine gave him a falcon because he wasn't able to teach Jace how to fly, and he wanted Jace to observe the bird and fly with it to get better at flying. And that's what Jace did. He loved to fly with the bird, and the hours he could spend in the sky with it made him feel free like nothing else. The falcon became his friend, and he saw something in it he'd never seen in anyone else. Wings.
So that's why it hurt more than Jace is able to describe when he saw Valentine break the falcon's wings.
So once upon a time I had a prompt for a 3x10 aftermath, Magnus in the alley with Alec and no magic, and then I accidentally deleted it, so I’m uh. Using this to bring it back! (I opted for Malec, here.)
Alec’s stable.
Jace had activated runes before he left, and he’d had a hard enough time leaving he’d almost walked right into the wall of the building going around the corner, trying to keep an eye on Alec and the way forward at the same time. He never would have torn himself away if Alec was really...
If Alec was...
Alec’s stable.
Not good, but not dying. Magnus keeps repeating that in his head, over and over, not dying, not dying.
Almost too late, but not quite.
Alec’s not quite conscious, and his breathing is too shallow, and Magnus is afraid to pull the arrow out, but he’s not dying.
Magnus hopes he’s not lying to himself.
Magnus holds Alec’s hand, ignores the way his other hand trembles as he smooths Alec’s hair back from his forehead, and he listens to him breathe. Alec’s eyes flutter, and his hand squeezes back, and then he’s still, his grip fading, but he’s still breathing.
Magnus wishes he could do something. He can’t even call Catarina, it’s not like he’d brought his cell phone to Edom, and he can’t make fire messages anymore, he can’t, he can’t...
He knows Alec’s probably got his phone, but he’s afraid to let go of Alec’s hand to look for it, afraid if he tries to move Alec to search his pockets he’ll hurt him more, afraid if he lets go Alec will let go, he’s afraid he’s crying but he can’t let go to wipe his cheeks.
He should, though. He should find Alec’s phone.
Everyone in the New York Institute has a...
Shit. He can’t even remember what it’s called. That thing where you just push the one button and it calls the Infirmary, so they can send a medic or call whichever Warlock’s on-call for the new contract with Lorenzo to offer healing magic.
Magnus can’t even call Nephilim-911, dear god he’s useless.
“Mm.” Alec makes a noise, not even close to a word, tension in his jaw and eyes too glassy as he tries to blink them open, and Magnus realizes his hand is holding too hard, his fingers tightening too much, makes himself relax his grip, swallows something close to another sob.
I have thoughts, and although some ideas will surely find their way into fic, I want to rant about it like this, too:
First Scene:
Thoughts and meta on The Untamed, episode 43, the scene at the end where WWX and LWJ leave for the Burial Grounds. You know, the talk about their song.
First thing, which is not the main focus of this rant, but a detail I found a nice touch: Lan Wangji is leading Apple, after Wei Wuxian complained in the previous scene that animals like Lan Zhan and not him, which was promptly demonstrated when he had to pull Apple to get him going. With Lan Wangji Apple is docile, being led smoothly. I think this small element shows how the WangXian relationship works: If I can do something that you can’t, I will do it for you naturally, no question asked or needed. Lan Wangji protects Wei Wuxian with the sword, Wei Wuxian drinks in Lan Zhan’s stead, Wei Wuxian safes his own medicine for Lan Wangji’s broken leg, when the other has no chance to get medicine himself, and when walking is too hard, one will carry the other. Lan Wangji will lead Apple, when it makes travelling easier for Wei Wuxian. It comes easy and naturally as a matter of course. There’s no shame in it. They complement each other with their strengths. Sigh, go team WangXian. End of small excursion, on to the main event, that I actually want to talk about:.
The conversation about the song WangXian through Lan Wangji’s eyes, and the general metaphor of the song.
So, in the scene WWX plays their song, smugly fishing for LWJ’s reaction, because clever bastard that he is – with most things, ha – he finally figured out how LWJ recognized him. LWJ hears the song, and he simply radiates love, happiness and contentment right then and there. This - in that moment - is the essence of their relationship, it is all there, they are together, at each other’s side, they travel to fight the evils of the world, are there to protect each other, LWJ is leading Apple, see above, this is what and how they are. This is their love. And LWJ is living right in the middle of it in that very moment. WWX is too, though he doesn’t know it yet the way that LWJ does.
So WWX is like: I figured it out, how you recognized me. That tiny reaction on LWJ is wonderful. Like: ‘Took you some time, but I knew you would’. Because LWJ knows, and that is important, some things he must let WWX figure out on his own. Like the name of the song between them. The name of that everything between them.
Who’s the composer? He gives a clue, but not too much. You will get there.
What’s its name? And the delivery of the next line is something beautiful. Because I fully believe Lan Zhan is… flirting. ‘What do you think?’ He’s playful and light and takes a chance, like: Okay so while you’re at figuring things out, let’s see if you have figured that/us/me out yet. He is not asking WWX to give the song a random name, the song has a name, has a meaning and is what is it for him, he is asking if WWX knows it yet, knows that song and thing between them for what it is yet, for WWX, the same way that LWJ knows what it is for him. Because When LWJ plays WangXian, it means I love you. WWX is playing the song already all the time, and it might even mean something similar, but he hasn’t come to that conclusion, hasn’t realized the final name he will give their relationship yet. But still he is already doing it, playing the song, acting out feelings he hasn’t named yet.
So when WWX misses the mark with his answer, LWJ is maybe a tad disappointed for the blink of an eye, but then simply aborts the conversation that won’t bring the insights and revelations he hopes for this time, on an upbeat note. Not yet, it is, I will wait. Wei Wuxian, clever bastard in all but this.
Because I think for LWJ time doesn’t really matter all too much right now, He’s waited more than 16 years, he can wait longer as long as WWX is back in his life. He will keep looking at WWX with the song in his eyes and wait until WWX will recognize it.
He will even let him go in the hope for having WWX come back knowing everything they are and COULD BE. Because LWJ might really want those kisses, after all, right...
And when WWX tells him later on to better have a name for the song when they next meet, the ‘way ahead of you’ makes it clear. I am only waiting on you, but I will, patiently, serenely and full of hope, because I know you will get there. Your mind will get where I feel your heart might already be.
Anyways, I was looking for words for the feelings that that whole scene, and LWJ especially evoke in me.
It is serenity, love and peace.
It’s lightness and profoundness. It’s Hanguan Jun, Light bearing Lord.
Peace. Because they are already there. WWX expressed how he doesn’t fear, even if it is a dangerous trip. How he doesn’t care how they slander him, as long as he one true friend. Like this, he can go on. Their consciences are clear, and LWJ is at peace since WWX came back to him, but you can really feel it in that scene.
And I think that is why with that portrayal, I don’t mind the effects of censorship too much in this drama, because their love is felt completely.
They are both already playing that song, they are living it, and I for one think, that WWX realizing its name, is what finally happens in the very last scene of the drama.
