The Arrow and the Flame, xxi
part xx
Summary: Yondu’s ready to do what he’s always been meant to do. Are you?
A/N: Sorry this took a bit to get up. I’m trying not to flood the tag, so I might stagger the posts a bit. Doesn’t seem fair to take up all the space, I think.
Tags: @thewildomega @pitrymcbride @fandommemporiumm @grippleback-galaxy
Words: 3,176
~~~
You spent the night before he left in the alcove. It felt right to bring all the blankets you could carry to the third deck the ship, to the place you first really fell in love with him. Most of the night was quiet. Even sex was relatively quiet. Everything tasted bittersweet, but that only added to the sensations of his body against yours.
When you woke in the morning, you refused to move before him. The longer he slept in, the longer he’d stay. You watched him sleep, breathe, and just...be alive. With you. Your body was stiff from overuse and from sleeping on a pretty hard ground, but you were focused on Yondu.
You didn’t know if your mark made you as sad as you were, or if it was normal. The only people that had left you so far were your mother - who you had a rusty relationship with anyway - and Reyus, and they weren’t your soulmate. They weren’t the one person in the universe you were made for. Yeah, you’d hated seeing them leaving, but this was something else all together. This was Yondu taking on new responsibilities and you wanting to be proud of that, but being more sad and fearful than anything else. This was telling yourself to trust in your bond, in your marks, but never really knowing how to put all of your faith into those things.
For so long, no one had believed the mark meant anything. Now you were sure it did, and that you’d found its meaning on your own, and it was leaving. You sighed against his chest and told yourself that he wasn’t leaving. He’d be around for the Alliance meetings. His ship would follow the Arcturian often, especially as it pulled into ports. You’d see him, you’d be with him. You’d talk over halo pad comms if you had to. It would be hard, but eventually the pain of him leaving would fade and you’d create a new normal.
You stopped thinking when you felt his hand move across your back. Your heart picked up its pace as you watched his face scrunch and relax. Your head screamed NO! GO BACK TO SLEEP! STAY! but you said nothing. You stared as his eyes opened, as he sighed, and he brought a hand to his face to wipe his eyes.
“Mornin’ Darlin’,” he said. He dropped his hand back to your waist and looked down at you. “How long you been up?”
You shrugged. “Not long, I think,” you said, trying to snuggle closer to him. You’d miss his warmth every night. The large bed on the second deck you’d built together seemed too big, too cold without him.
“You just been watchin’ me the whole time?” he asked.
You nodded. “I can’t help it,” you said.
He smiled and leaned forward to kiss you. You’d miss that - random kisses whenever he liked what you said. You’d miss his fingers along your neck, in your hair, inside of you. You’d miss it all. But not for long, you reminded yourself. Never for too long.
“I know I’m as pretty as’n angel, Darlin’. You ain’t gotta tell me,” he said with a satisfied smirk on his face.
You rolled your eyes and tried to smile. But you knew something was off about your expression by the way he reacted - his smile faded, as did a bit of the light in his eyes. You wanted it back. That light was the one thing that was going to get you through that day and into the next. So you tried to force another smile, a bigger one, but it must’ve been just as confused because he sighed and kissed your forehead.
“Please don’ be sad today,” he said. “I can’t leave if yer sad.”
You shut your eyes and put your forehead against his collarbone. “I’m so proud of you, Yondu. I am. I’m elated that you’re getting all of these great things, things you deserve.”
He waited, but you said nothing more. “There’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere,” he said, urging you to continue.
You opened your eyes again but didn’t move your head. It was easier not to look him in the eyes as you spoke your mind that morning. “But you’re leaving. I know we’ve made promises and plans, but this is it. Once you’re gone, we won’t live on the same ship again. We’ll have separate lives and we’ll only share the same bed once in awhile instead of every damn night and-”
“Do you not want me to leave?” he asked.
This time you did look at him. You needed to see what his expression was.
His brows were furrowed, his mouth in a frown, his eyes so dull and lifeless he almost looked asleep still. You put your hand on his cheek, knowing he had to go. You didn’t know how much you believed in destinies beyond your mark and what it promised, but it seemed his destiny was to be his own Captain. He wanted it so badly, you could feel it in your gut.
“I want you to do what you’re meant to do,” you said. “I just hate that it means we’ll be apart.”
He tightened his hold on you, and you felt that calming sensation of being one person again. If you were one person, however, you wouldn’t have to deal with the searing pain of him walking off the Arcturian ship. You reminded yourself to breathe and reciprocate his hold on you, to assure him that you wanted what’s best for him.
“I keep tellin’ you we’re gonna make it,” he whispered to you. “We gotta make it. If we can’t no one else has a chance!”
You laughed together, but it was short lived. You still had to get up, get dressed, have breakfast, and attend the promotional ceremony - Yondu’s second in his time as a Ravager. He’d be the first Ravager to ever have two promotion ceremonies, and when you thought about that, you couldn’t help but smile.
“See?” he asked, even though he was unable to read your mind. “I know it ain’t gonna be easy. But Darlin’, it’s gonna be so worth it.”
You nodded. “Of course it is, Captain Udonta,” you said, then bit your lip and cocked one eyebrow.
He smirked at you again and said, “I like the way that sounds outta you,” before crashing his lips against yours.
That time, you didn’t think about how much you’d miss the crashing. It was fine, you told yourself again. You’d find time to be with him soon. You needed to smile and let him go for his own good.
When you pulled away, you tapped his chest a few times before sighing. “Well, Captain, it’s time we get the day going. And I’m very hungry.” As if on cue, your stomach rumbled.
He laughed gently and nodded, and the two of you got up to get dressed. You’d brought a duffle bag with a change of clothes for the both of you, so you didn’t even need to leave the alcove to get ready. You packed away your clothes from the night before and folded the blankets, leaving everything in the corner. You’d be back later to clear the room.
Breakfast was quiet, even with Kraglin and Martinex sitting with you. Though, to be fair, breakfast was normally the quietest meal of the day. People were normally tired and overworked, and now many of them were getting ready to leave. Yondu had put together a good team to start out with over the last few weeks, you thought.
Everyone was called to the bridge after breakfast. The same dias your father had stood on to address Yondu and his people when they’d first come aboard was set up in its spot. All of the same people stood on the dias - all twelve captains and their First Mates had shown up within the last twenty minutes. You stood beside Martinex, across the stage from Reyus, and behind your parents.
As usual, your father addressed the assembly.
“Today, we make history,” he said. “An Officer will become a Captain through two promotion ceremonies.”
You realized your mother hadn’t been given this ceremony, but she didn’t need one. Her exit had been loud enough throughout the Alliance, and she’d already been Captain in her own mind. She didn’t need the flash to prove it. Yondu, on the other hand, deserved the pomp and circumstance.
Speaking of, Yondu breezed past you to stand beside your father. You caught a whiff of his scent - sweat and leather and you - and couldn’t suppress a smile. Martinex elbowed you gently, smirking as your father went on.
“Officer Udonta, do you swear to uphold the values and laws of the Alliance from today through the end of your life?” your father asked.
Yondu nodded. “I swear.”
You watched your father smile wider. It warmed your heart to know he was as proud of Yondu as you were.
“Do you so swear to earn your place at the table? For the right to have the Ravager colors flown upon your entrance into the next world?” he asked.
“I swear,” Yondu said, standing taller in his boots.
“Do you swear to put the needs of the Alliance first under any circumstances, and to seek guidance and assistance from your fellow Alliance Captains, should you so need it?”
“I swear,” he said, his crest glowing for a split second. The room gasped collectively at that - even the other Centaurians.
Your father turned around, and your mother handed him a long piece of leather. He turned back to Yondu, held it up, and handed it over. “Then by the power given to me by the Alliance, I pronounce you Captain Yondu Udonta,” he said.
Yondu took the leather, his smile larger than you’d ever seen. He shrugged out of his shorter jacket, let it fall to the ground, and slid into the new, long duster. It was a dark maroon color, with too many pockets to count and a fur collar. The best part was the large Alliance emblem - the flames that matched your part of the mark - pinned to the right lapel.
He rose his hands and faced the crowd, and you watched as they erupted in cheers and congratulations. You clapped wildly, losing yourself for a moment as you left your spot next to Martinex. Things seemed to move in slow motion then, as the whole room looked on as you came around Yondu and threw your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips. It didn’t seem to matter that you’d broken procedure, as he smiled at you, laughed, and wrapped you up in his newly clad arms.
You threw your weight into him, and he nearly fell backwards, but caught himself just in time. You laughed with him before you kissed him, more proud than scared or lonely than you’d felt in months. It was a relief, knowing that you could feel happy again.
You kept kissing him for a few minutes, massaging his tongue with yours, until your father tapped on your arm. You looked at him, nodded, and felt a deep blush rush into your face as you dislodged from Yondu. He didn’t let go of one of your hands, so you followed him off the stage and into the crowd, where people stopped him every few feet to shake his free hand or congratulate him on making Ravager history.
No one mentioned that he was the first Centaurian Alliance captain, but he didn’t mind. Or he didn’t notice. You did. You’d have to make a point of it later, to remind him how special he really was.
It was customary for the Alliance to hold a meeting upon the introduction of a new captain, so all thirteen captains and their First Mates and Advisors made their way to the third deck. You stuck close to Yondu, as did Kraglin, now that he was First Mate. The conference room by the cockpit was full of bodies, heat, and noise, but everyone was happy.
“So Captain,” you said, turning to Yondu. “How does it feel, to know all of these people are here to celebrate you?”
His smile was infectious, crooked and gorgeous if you had any say. And you did.
“Feels better knowin’ you gotta call me Captain the rest’a our days,” he said, biting hard into his bottom lip.
You rose your eyebrows in a quick arch, then settled against the table with him in front of you. Kraglin stood between the two of you, his blue eyes alive in the crowded room.
“And you,” you said, reaching out to force him into a hug. “First Mate! Must feel better than Weapons Apprentice.”
You let him go before he said, “Wouldn’ know yet.”
Suddenly, your mother was pushing her way between Kraglin and Yondu. She had a glass in her hand full of a deep red liquid and an unusual smile on her face. “Congratulations, Yondu,” she said. You almost envied her, knowing Yondu was now her equal. “Your ascent was speedy, but from what I hear, well deserved.” She held her hand out to him.
He shook her hand and nodded. “Thank you, Aleta,” he said. “Jus’ hope I can make y’all proud.”
She threw long dark locks over one of her shoulders. “I’m sure you will,” she said before nodding at you and leaving. Reyus took her place.
You threw yourself at them, glad they had the reflexes to catch you. “I missed you so much!” you said as you swung a bit.
They laughed and held onto you. “It hasn’t been that long since I was here last,” they said.
“I know, but you’re always busy when you’re around, and we never stop at the same ports,” you said, letting go of them gently.
“Yeah,” they said. “Aleta’s not big on being around Stakar if she can help it.” They scratched the back of their neck, and you noticed a braided and beaded lock of hair that hadn’t been there before. “I guess it’s been a while since we all hung out.”
“Too long,” Kraglin said, bumping elbows with them. “How’s First Mate life treatin’ ya?” he asked.
“It’s good,” Reyus answered. “I’ve learned how to fly a ship, and I’m pretty sure Aleta wants me to be her successor, so no big deal or anything.” They waved you off dramatically and rolled their eyes, to which you laughed.
“I’m so proud of you all,” you said, looking from one of your friends to the next. “Y’all’ve outgrown me, but I’m proud of you.”
Kraglin shook his head. “There’s no outgrowin’ you, (Y/N),” he said.
“Yeah,” Reyus said. “You’re like...the glue of the Arcturian faction. None of us would be where we are without you.”
Yondu nodded. “I definitely wouldn’,” he said, running his thumb over your mark.
You waited for the warm, fresh, wonderful feeling passed before sighing at them. “How is it that I’m the natural-born Ravager, and the three of you have outranked me?” you asked with a hint of a joke in your tone.
Reyus shrugged. “We worked harder than you,” they said, smirking all the while.
You all laughed, but you nodded and said, “Fair enough.”
The party went on like that for a while. You stuck yourself between your friends - all of whom had to leave you at the end of the day. You were grateful you’d started to trust Martinex, because he and your father were all you had left on the Arcturian faction. You wondered why you were staying, why being Captain meant so much to you, but decided you’d deal with that later. For the time being, you celebrated the love of your life with the people that meant the most to you.
And then it was time for Yondu and Kraglin to go. Their ship - a hunker called Elector by its previous owner - was docked alongside the Arcturian. The ships were almost the same size, to be honest, but the Elector looked dirtier, older, more...like a Ravager ship. It needed work, but Yondu was willing to put in the time. He wouldn’t have agreed to purchase the ship if he wasn’t.
The party made their way down to the bridge, then slowly to the loading docks. Captain Charlie clapped Yondu on the shoulder, then gave him the Ravager salute. You stood behind him as the other Captains did, and their First Mates and crews as well. Everyone tapped their chests in time for Yondu, who was on the verge of tears by the time you made it out of the crowd. He told his crew to go ahead to the Elector before him.
Kraglin was second to last to leave. He stopped by you, hugged you tight, and promised to take care of Yondu.
“Thank you,” you whispered to him. “I know you’re gonna be great, Krags. Make him proud.”
He nodded as he stepped back, gave you a heartwarming smile, then headed down the docks to the assigned airlock.
You turned to Yondu and sighed, smiling still. You could do that now, you found. It was easier than it had been that morning, and you were grateful for that. He slowly wrapped you up with his body. You put your hands on his face, trying to remember every inch of him by touch. He was still smiling at you, a newfound life in his eyes that made you sigh.
“I’ll see you real soon, Darlin’,” he said.
You nodded and pulled his face to yours, hoping to leave your taste in his mouth. Anything for him to remember you by. When he pulled back, you said, “I love you, Captain.”
He chuckled, and his chest vibrated against yours. “Stars, I love you,” he said. He removed an arm from you, which you immediately wanted back, and reached into a pocket along his pants. He pulled out a small, fat baby with blue hair. “I found one’a them Trolls at that noodle place you like so much.”
Your jaw dropped as you took the toy. Its beady black eyes stared up at you, it’s small red smile almost unnerving. But you loved it anyway. It had blue hair, and it was a token to keep him close. “I love it,” you whispered.
“Good,” he said. “The lil’ orange one’s goin’ on my console.” His smile spread before he kissed you again.
You pulled back this time. “I love you,” you repeated. “It’s time.”
He held your gaze for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll be thinkin’a you all the time.”
“Me too,” you said.
Slowly, his hands fell from your frame. He sighed as you turned, then he went around you toward his new ship. His new crew. His new life. He stopped at the airlock door, looked at you, and waved.
You brought the Troll to your lips, then waved back, and he was gone.