#sh:paul

[honeyjars-sims]

2.4.1 Welcome Home, Boys

Bringing the boys home meant a lot of last minute scrambling to get things in order. The first order of business was finding a place for the teenager, Brody, to sleep.

Luckily, Hollis and Mercedes were able to move into their new place sooner than anticipated, so we were able to convert Hollis’s old apartment into a new space for us.

Her old bedroom became a playroom, and her living room became Brody’s bedroom. We already had a nursery ready upstairs for the baby, who we named Lucas Solomon. 

The whole thing felt so surreal. Even though we knew we could get a call from the adoption agency at any moment, we didn’t expect that moment to come so soon. Or to be welcoming not one but two new members into our family.

When it came time to bring the boys home, Brody was a bit quiet. He seemed happy but a little shy. I remember how it felt to move in with complete strangers, so I understood where he was coming from. We arrived home and started showing Brody around.

While Paul was getting Lucas settled in, I showed Brody his bedroom. 

“I get my own bedroom?” He asked.

“Yeah, and your own bathroom, too,” I told him. 

“Wow.”

As Paul held Lucas, I noticed Chelsea watching him closely. I tried to work out what she might be feeling. If I had to guess, I’d say she felt betrayed. She didn’t say anything, though, just continued to keep a close eye on her new little brother. 

Rachel, on the other hand, was over the moon about meeting her new brothers. She talked Brody’s ear off on the way home, and continued to do so at home, although Brody was still being quiet.

We showed Brody around the rest of the house. The thing that caught his attention was our workout area. In fact, he decided to get a little workout in himself. I wanted to ask him about himself, to get to know this new person living in our house, but I didn’t want to push him too much.

We continued to check in with him throughout the evening–offering, but not forcing him, to join us in conversation. He seemed content to sit in our presence and just take everything in. It was our new normal that we were all getting used to. 

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[honeyjars-sims]

2.4.13: Brush With a Bully

Brody’s perspective

It was time for school and Brody realized when he got there that he’d forgotten to study for his exam. He did the best he could, but he couldn't remember half of what was covered on the exam. 

To make matters worse, after class a boy named Tom came up to him and insulted his clothes for no reason. Brody couldn’t remember having seen this kid before. He tried not to let it get to him, but it put him in a sour mood for the rest of the day.

When he got home, he looked around for his parents. He found Paul in the baby’s room, having just put his brother in the crib for a nap. He wasn’t sure if he should bring up what happened at school, but Paul could tell something was wrong. Brody decided to be honest, and Paul gave him some good advice about how to deal with people who are rude. Brody thanked Paul for the good advice. 

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[honeyjars-sims]

1.3.20 Great News (Times 2)

After Hollis’s wedding, I didn’t have anything to take my mind off of waiting to hear from the adoption agency. It turned out that wasn’t an issue for long. Paul got one home from work one day and told me he’d gotten a call from the adoption agency.

“Tell me it’s good news,” I say.

“It’s great news. There’s a newborn who’s in need of a home and they want us to take him.”

“Are you serious?” I’m over the moon. “We’re finally getting a baby?”

“Yes, I’m serious. This is real, we’re going to have a son!”

“I would say you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words, but I think you do!”

“I definitely do. There is one other thing, though.”

My heart drops a bit. What else could there possibly be? 

“What is it?”

“Well, the baby has an older sibling. A much older sibling, a 16-year-old brother. He’s been in foster care for a while, and they asked if we’d be willing to take him, too.”

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I know. She said if we need some time to think it over, then we can.”

“I don’t need to think it over,” I tell him. “If the kid needs a home, then I can’t turn him away.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.”

“So, how do you feel about it?” I ask.

“I’m with you. We have the space in our house and our hearts, so why not?”

“So it’s official, then. We’re getting two sons.”

“We are!” Paul kisses me on the cheek.

I can’t believe we’re expanding our family with 2 more people. We’d better get started on preparing for our boys.

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[honeyjars-sims]

1.3.6 Other Options

Since the girls were with Hollis, I decided to take full advantage of the alone time and wallow in my misery about Hollis’s decision to not have another child. I retreated to my bed and was in full sobbing mode when Paul arrived home.

“Honey, what happened?” Paul sets his things down and joins me on the bed.

“Nothing happened. Everything’s fine. It’s just…” The words got stuck in my throat and I sobbed harder.

“What is it?” 

I sit up. “Hollis told me she doesn’t think she wants to have any more children.”

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry," Paul says, rubbing his forehead. "I know the timing is awful with me deciding I’m ready for a baby.”

“I know it’s her decision, but I really thought she would want one more at least.”

Paul puts his arm around me and rubs my back. “Well, she might not want more kids, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have another.”

“I guess you’re right. I hadn’t really thought about that.”

“We could go a more traditional surrogate route, or we could adopt. We have options.”

For some reason, it hadn't occurred to me that we could do this without Hollis. “I guess we do. I’ll have to think more about it.”

“Whatever you decide, I’m behind you 100%. As long as we end up with a baby, I know we’ll both be happy.”

I kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for bringing me back down to earth.”

“You’re allowed to feel upset about it. I just don’t want you to give up hope.”

“I won’t.” Now that we've talked about it, I'm feeling a bit better about the whole situation. We'll still have to decide on what route we want to take, but having a baby no longer feels impossible.

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[honeyjars-sims]

1.3.4 Feeling Ready

“How is Chantal doing?” Paul asks me after my meetup with my sister. 

“Great. She said she and Damien put their nursery together recently.”

“Oh, that’s good. They don’t have much time left before baby comes.”

“She’ll be here before we know it.”

“So, all of this talk about the baby lately has got me thinking about the girls when they were that small.” My heart skips a beat. I was planning on bringing up the idea of having another baby, but I was still nervous about how he might react. What if he still wasn’t ready?

“Yeah, me too. But you probably already knew that.”

“I did. I know you’ve been wanting another baby for a while.”

“I have.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m finally ready for that, too.”

“A baby? Really?” I’m totally caught off guard. I thought we might discuss it and make a plan for the future at the most. I wasn’t expecting Paul to say he was ready now, but I sure am happy to hear those words. 

“Yes, really.”

I stand up and wrap him in my arms. 

“I can’t believe this! You just made my day!”

“Well, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. I don’t know when it’ll actually happen, with Hollis planning a wedding at all. We might have to wait a bit longer.” 

Paul is right. It takes more than just the two of us to bring a child into the world, and we’d better make sure that Hollis is on board for another pregnancy.

“We might. I can ask her how she feels about it when I see her. At least then we’d know what to expect.”

“That sounds like a good plan. I’m excited.”

“Me, too.” 

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[honeyjars-sims]

2.4.3: Time for Therapy

Paul and I were both on paternity leave, which made adjusting to our bigger family a lot easier. It was nice having us both home as we took care of a newborn.

“I can’t believe this is real life,” I told Paul as I cradled Lucas in my arms.

“I know.” Paul smiled. “I’m glad it is, though.”

“Yeah, me, too,” I replied. “I wonder how Brody is doing at school.”

“I don’t know. I hope he’s adjusting well.”

“I’ve heard good things about the school, so maybe it won’t be too bad.”

“Yeah.” Paul sighs. “It’s just so hard to tell with him. He’s been so quiet.”

“I know. I want to ask him so many things, but I don’t want to bombard him with questions.”

“When do you think we should broach the subject of therapy with him?”

“Probably soon,” I say. “I don’t want to throw too much at him at once, but I think therapy will be good for us all.”

“I think addressing it as something that will be good for us all as a unit is the best approach.”

“I agree. I don’t want it to come off like we think he’s a problem.” 

“Definitely not. Hopefully, he’ll start feeling more comfortable here as time goes on.”

“I’m sure he will, as long as we continue to reach out but also give him space. That really helped me when I moved in with my dads.”

“I’m glad you have some insight on how he might be feeling. I think that’s going to be a big help in navigating this.”

“I hope so.”

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[honeyjars-sims]

1.3.14 Reality Check

I wake up one morning and decide that it’s a good time to talk with Paul about what I’ve been feeling. Since my discussion with Rachel, I’ve been thinking a lot about how tumultuous it was when I first moved in with my dads, and how it might be the same with the kid we end up adopting. 

“I think we need to talk about something.” I tell him.

“What is it?” Paul sits beside me on the bed. 

“Well, I know they covered this in our adoption classes, but we really need to discuss what things might be like when our kid eventually gets here.”

“What things?”

“You know how I told you about moving in with my dads?”

“Yeah, you said it was hard at first, and you tested them for a while.”

“That’s right. I just think we need to prepare ourselves for things not being as happy as we’re feeling about it right now.”

“That makes sense. I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement.”

“Yeah. I just think we should start thinking now about some sort of family therapy, and individual therapy for the kids could be a good idea as well.”

“I agree. It’s best we address these things now and not wait for things to get bad first.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page. It’s going to be hard for us, too.”

“We’ll get through it together.”

“Yeah, but we need to be realistic about it in the meantime.”

“I didn’t mean to sound dismissive.”

“I know. I’m not saying things will never get better, just that it could really take a toll on us as a family.”

“I understand. I really do. I can look for a therapist for us, if you think that would be helpful.”

“I would. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

I feel better now that we’ve talked about it, but part of me is still concerned. Paul had such a healthy childhood that he can’t really relate to what it’s like to come from a tougher situation. I just hope he’s really as prepared as he thinks he is. 

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[honeyjars-sims]

1.3.11 Moving Plans

I make my way over to the cafe one afternoon and see Hollis is there grabbing a cappuccino. “Hey Hollis!” I call out.

We exchange pleasantries and I sit down. 

“I have some more big news,” she tells me. “Mercedes and I are going to be moving.”

“Moving? Where?” I ask.

“Oh, just to one of the bigger units. She wants to have a home pottery studio, and our one-bedroom unit is a little small for that. Plus, now we will have a bedroom for the girls in case they want to sleep over.”

“That makes sense.”

Paul walks over to us. 

“What’s going on?”

“Mercedes and I are moving,” Hollis explains before taking another sip of her cappuccino. “I figured I’d let you guys know since it’s technically your property.”

I turn to Paul. “What are we going to do with all that space?”

“Good question,” he replies. “We could open up the living area and maybe put another room down there.”

“Hey, at least give me time to move out before you start making plans for my place,” Hollis jokes.

“Fair enough,” I tell her. “When do you think you’ll move?”

“Probably not until after the wedding. We want to focus on that first.”

“Good idea.”

“Speaking of, your wedding date is coming soon. How are you feeling?” Paul asks.

“A lot better now that we’ve got all of the big stuff squared away. I really appreciate your help with everything.”

“You’re welcome, we’re happy to help.” 

I’m excited by the prospect of having more space. Now that we’re having another kid, we could use more room. We have an extra room upstairs, but there’s not much room downstairs for all of the girls’ things. It’s only going to get more crowded with another person in the family.

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