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~This Must Be the Place (my new story)
Directory:
Prologue (completed)
Chapter 1: New Beginnings (coming soon)
DiMarco Family Tree (contains spoilers)
Something has been on my mind lately. At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do anything about it, but it kept coming up in my thoughts. I decide to talk to Paul about it. We’re in the baby’s room with Chelsea when I bring it up.
“I want to get your opinion on something,” I tell him.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I never finished college. I know I have a good job now, but I left when I was going through a rough time and I’ve always wondered what things would be like if I hadn’t.”
“I didn’t realize you thought about it that much. So, are you asking what I think?”
“Yeah. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea. I mean, we have four kids, one of whom is only a few months old.”
“Well, honey, that’s up to you. Do you think you have enough time to focus on school on top of everything else?”
“I think so. I looked into it, and Britechester has a program that’s geared towards working adults. It’s all online, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to campus.”
“That sounds great! If you decide to go for it, I’m willing to help out however I can.”
“I know you would, but you have a full time job yourself.”
“We’ll make it work. If we have to get some extra help in the evenings, we can afford it.”
“Thanks for being so supportive.”
“Of course! I want to support you any way I can. So, what are you thinking of studying?”
“I think I want to study Media Production. I think it could help me move my way up at work to some production stuff behind the camera.”
“That sounds perfect! I think this is going to be good for you.”
“Thanks, I hope it is.”
Previous | Beginning of Story | Beginning of Chapter | Next
Brody and his friends were meeting up at ThrifTea. Brody got his favorite chocolate boba.
He sat down with his friend Malik and they talked a bit about their favorite video games. Brody told him that one of his dads streams video games sometimes. Malik was impressed. It felt good to let one of his friends know a little more about his family. He still hadn’t mentioned that he was adopted, but they might have suspicions since they know he has two dads.
After they chatted a bit, they decided to head inside to talk to some of the others. They joined Nadia and Isaac’s conversation. During the conversation, Nadia told Brody that she was glad they’d become friends. Then, it happened.
Brody’s heart began racing and his cheeks got warm. He felt a fluttering in his stomach. There was no denying it now. Brody had a crush on Nadia. He was equal parts exhilarated and horrified. What if she didn't like him back? What if she did?
Just then Malik and Isaac wandered off, leaving Nadia and Brody alone on the couch. Maybe they sensed that something was brewing between the two and decided to give them space. Brody had to say something, but he was too shy to flirt outright. He decided to casually ask Nadia if she was single. She said she was, and left it at that. He still couldn’t tell if there was any interest on her part. He hoped there was.
Previous | Beginning of Story | Beginning of Chapter | Next
Just so you know, I'm going to go down to two story posts a week instead of three, on Monday and Wednesday. It's getting too much to keep up with lately.
⌨️ Thiago doesn’t have a jealous wife – in fact, it would be very beneficial if she continued her online relationship with him.
⌨️ It would also be helpful if she passed evidence of their chats along; encrypted, of course.
⌨️ Any additional information she has about him would also be useful. She can name her price.
⌨️ Lastly, she is not to discuss this with anyone - Thiago is not just someone’s husband; he’s a Grand Duke.
He absolutely did.
After she got all the details, she immediately went downstairs to talk to her husband, Jay.
“ I’m gonna tell you something, but you can’t freak out. “ She warned. Then she took a big breath and spilled it it one run on blob.
“ I just found out one of my subs is royalty and they’re trying to do some sort of coup or something and overthrow him. I don’t know - either way, they wanna pay me to give them Intel. “
Doli stared at Jay, who said nothing for a long while. Then, his eyes squinted.
“ Royalty? Like royalty, how ?” He asked. 
“ A Grand Duke or something. But that’s not the point, babe. “ Doli answered , her eyes wide. “ Should I do it? If I don’t do it, are people going to beat down the door? Should we call the police? “
“ How did he even find you? How did he know that Duke guy was even a sub? “ Jay asked.
“ No idea. “ she answered. “ But… he did reach out to me through an encrypted message; you think he’s a spy or something? “
✏️ Jay knows encryptions. Jay also knows that someone with that skill set goes out of their way to avoid attention.
“ Whatever’s going on is clearly above our pay grade. I wouldn’t send any transcripts; that’s a breach of OS guidelines. You don’t wanna get caught up. “ Jay said. “ You can tell him you’d be willing to ask specific questions, but that’s it. Then tell him to never contact you again. “
Then Jay said he’s gonna call Bernardo in the morning to come take a look – clearly her computer’s compromised.
Robin: It’s not your fault.
Alex: That’s not true.
Robin: You were just a little kid.
Alex: Yeah, but I still knew what I was doing!
Robin: You didn’t make her d-…
Alex: I did!
Robin: [sighs] You can’t keep blaming yourself.
Alex: I can, and should! It’s just-.. you’ll never understand because I can’t-.. ugh!
Robin: You know you can tell me anything, right?
Alex: You wouldn’t believe me even if I did.
Robin: I’d always believe you.
Alex: Always?
Robin: Well, within reason-…
Alex: Exactly! This is well beyond reason.
Robin: I’m more used to that than you’d think.
Alex: Yeah, right.
[Alex scoffed lightly, though her voice was devoid of scorn]
[Alex launched herself to her feet and took a deep breath before she could change her mind]
Alex: I can make people do whatever I tell them to and they'll just do it, no hesitation. They don't even realize what's happened until it's already said and done-.. but it's not all ha-ha make someone dance like a chicken, y'know? It can hurt people, like my mom, and I'm terrified something like that might happen again so I really think about what I'm gonna say over and over and over but sometimes stuff just comes out, right? Like when you're angry or sad or whatever but I can't have that freedom ‘cause it’s dangerous, so I just try to think as little as possible but it’s exhausting keeping up that wall and overanalysing every little sentence before it comes out. It’s easier not to be around anyone, I guess. Like, that’s why we stayed with my uncle so much and why I was home-schooled, right? But then I met you and got a taste of what it was like to have a friend and-.. and you were different, but I don’t know why. It’s like you’re immune for some reason, and it's not like I haven't tried! Just small things as a test, nothing bad, but it feels like whatever I suggest goes right over your head and I don't understand. It’s kinda nice though, like you’re the only person I can really relax around ‘cause I won’t just blurt something out and make you walk off a cliff-.. not that I would, obviously, but…
[Alex stopped blathering abruptly, rather self-conscious now that she'd word vomited out what felt like her entire being right in front of Robin, who had sat in a strange, perplexed looking silence throughout the entire duration of her rambling soliloquy]
...
Alex: Hello?
Robin: Is that why you always say maybe in front of everything?
Alex: Well yeah, it's purposefully vague-.. is that really what you're choosing to say about all this?
Robin: Sorry, I'm just processing. I feel like things make a bit more sense now.
Alex: You know what doesn’t make sense? Your weird immunity…
Robin: Maybe I just have a super strong brain.
[Robin grinned half-heartedly, his stomach sinking as he realised he probably ought to explain his own specialty]
Alex: What?
Robin: Nothing, I just-…
Alex: There’s something different about you too, right? I’m not imagining things, am I?
Robin: Well, I can feel what other people feel, I guess.
[Robin sucked in his bottom lip and widened his eyes briefly as if that simple little answer would be enough for Alex. He’d never been much of a talker anyway and it felt doubly weird to tell someone about his “gift”, even if that someone was Alex]
Alex: You mean like an empath?
Robin: That and erh, people’s thoughts n’ stuff come through too.
Alex: Wait, wait, wait-.. you can read minds?! Holy shit, Robin.
Robin: What, c’mon-.. don’t make it sound so odd.
Alex: We are odd though! Gosh, that must suck for you though.
Robin: Sometimes.
Alex: Why’d you ask about the water thing then? You must’ve already known the answer.
Robin: No, it doesn’t really work properly on you for some reason-.. maybe ‘cause you try so hard to keep your mind blank. S’pose you must be pretty good at it.
Alex: Oh.
Robin: It’s neat though, sometimes-.. peaceful.
Alex: Sometimes? Bet you hate it at times too, Mister Nosy.
Robin: [snorts] Busted.
Alex: You realise what this means..?
Robin: What?
Alex: We can only properly relax around each other, right? Like we’re perfectly immune to each other’s bullshit-.. like super soulmates or something.
Robin: Super soulmates, huh?
Alex: I bet it’s in the dictionary somewhere…
Axel: She's providin' moral support while I do some thumbnails for tour posters.
Sorella: Not Rocky?
Axel: Rocky'll put 'em together, but up to me to brainstorm.
Sorella: Ah got it. Didn't mean to interrupt.
Axel: Nah! You're helpin' with the creative vibe!
Sorella: If you're making posters, are the tour dates all finalized?
Envy: [exasperated sigh] No. A few of the venues are giving us the runaround STILL. Saying our streaming numbers aren't good enough for them to book us. Joey is looking at a few backups. Hopefully they work out better. It's just rude!
Sorella: Seriously rude, don't they know Mystress is the next big thing?
Envy: Right!? Whatever... It'll all work out. I know it.
Axel: It will. Don't worry. Hear back from any of your auditions?
Sorella: Nope. I'm not really surprised. I didn't really fit any of the parts I tried out for. Deja hasn't heard back from any either, so we might come up with something to keep us busy for the fall. A cabaret maybe. Her day job SUCKS, oh which reminds does remind me- thanks again for convincing me to quit the pub.
Envy: [laughs] You're welcome!! And you didn't think you were good enough for sessions work!
Sorella: I don't know why I ever doubted you.
Envy: You really should know better by now! I know everything.
Dear Diary,
I suppose I can finish up this one before I buy a new one. Though, I think my therapist would tell me a fresh one is better or whatever. I don't feel like going to get one and there's pages here. I'm about to be divorced. I have two daughters that I love more than anything in the world. I was still pregnant with Juliana the last time I wrote in this. Wasn't even married yet. Had no idea what the next few years had in store for me. I don't really want to write about that right now.
Today was the one day every 2 weeks or so that Otis can stop by to visit. Oh yeah, that's another new thing. I'm dating Otis Marroquin. It started out as an affair, but we've been officially dating for a little over a month now. It's night and day from dating or even being married to.. well you know.
Otis is amazing with both of the girls. They get so excited when he gets here. Kitty continues to be an overachiever, she's already able to walk little distances, and for Otis she'll waddle as fast as her legs can carry her. I'm starting to think she might not really know who Mat- "he" is to her. I don't particularly feel bad about that. Otis does so much for them. He's incredibly patient with Juli, that's what I notice the most. He plays with them, too. It's not beneath him to get on the floor and play dolls or princess or whatever they want. It's precious to see.
Then, he makes sure to spend time with me. Still with the girls nearby, but his focus is on me. That's so new. He asks about what I've been up to. He agreed with my therapist that writing would be a good outlet for me. But mostly we do talk about everything he's doing. He's really busy... I worry that he's going to overdo it.
He can't ever stay for very long. He has an alarm on his phone for when he needs to go catch the last train of the day. He isn't happy when it goes off. The girls aren't either. They do their best sad eyes to try to get him to stay, but again he's so good with them. He manages to make them simply excited for when he can next be here.
I won't let him see it, but that doesn't really work on me. I keep it together in front of the girls, but it hurts how much I miss him when he leaves. One day it won't be like this. Right?
until later, Gemma St. John.
Brody and his friends were meeting up at ThrifTea. Brody got his favorite chocolate boba.
He sat down with his friend Malik and they talked a bit about their favorite video games. Brody told him that one of his dads streams video games sometimes. Malik was impressed. It felt good to let one of his friends know a little more about his family. He still hadn’t mentioned that he was adopted, but they might have suspicions since they know he has two dads.
After they chatted a bit, they decided to head inside to talk to some of the others. They joined Nadia and Isaac’s conversation. During the conversation, Nadia told Brody that she was glad they’d become friends. Then, it happened.
Brody’s heart began racing and his cheeks got warm. He felt a fluttering in his stomach. There was no denying it now. Brody had a crush on Nadia. He was equal parts exhilarated and horrified. What if she didn't like him back? What if she did?
Just then Malik and Isaac wandered off, leaving Nadia and Brody alone on the couch. Maybe they sensed that something was brewing between the two and decided to give them space. Brody had to say something, but he was too shy to flirt outright. He decided to casually ask Nadia if she was single. She said she was, and left it at that. He still couldn’t tell if there was any interest on her part. He hoped there was.
Previous | Beginning of Story | Beginning of Chapter | Next
I ran into Hollis at the cafe, and we had a chance to catch up. She still lives close by, but we hadn’t had the chance to have a proper conversation in a while. It seemed like we were just shuffling the girls back and forth without taking the time to really talk.
“How is married life treating you?” I asked her.
“Oh, it’s great! Mercedes and I couldn’t be more happy. She’s been getting a lot of business at the pottery studio.”
“I know Rachel is excited about that! She was so thrilled when Mercedes put one of her vases up for sale in the shop.”
“She was! Especially when she found out someone bought it!”
“That’s our little artist!”
“How are the boys doing?” Hollis asks me.
“They’re doing well. Lucas is learning to roll onto his tummy. And he’s been babbling so much lately! He hasn’t been waking up as much at night. And Brody seems to be adjusting well. I think therapy has been going ok, and things at school have improved.”
“That’s good to hear. The girls really love their new brothers.”
“Yeah, Chelsea is still a little jealous of Lucas, but we’re making progress. Rachel just adores them both.”
“I know, she doesn’t stop talking about them!”
Hollis and I talk for a few minutes longer before she has to head off. I’m glad we got to catch up a bit. With everything that’s been going on, it’s hard to make time for friends.
Previous | Beginning of Story | Beginning of Chapter | Next
Barbara Stephens sat behind the front desk at the Britechester Public Library. Not to be confused with the giant University Library on campus. No, this one was much smaller and filled with young families and teens rather than the hundreds of stressed-out college students she was usually surrounded by.
It was her job, yes, and a boring, monotonous one at that. But in some ways, it was also an escape.
While some people may prefer a day at the spa, or lying on the beach near the ocean, or hiking in the mountains, there were only two places where Barbara felt truly at peace.
The first was in her tiny garden surrounded by fragrant flowers and the gentle hum of bees.
And the second was here at the library. There was a particular quality to the quietness of a library, broken only by whispers, muffled footsteps, and the pleasant crinkle of plastic that protected the hardcover books. It was soothing. Though, perhaps a little too soothing.
Barbara’s head slumped down for the third time in as many minutes. She jerked it back up with a sigh and tried to refocus on her textbook. History had never been her favorite subject, but this was the first time her solid ‘A’ average had been threatened. She had never got a ‘B’ in her life, and she wasn’t going to start now. It was a slippery slope.
With a shake of her head, she looked up at the clock to check the time.
4:17
She smiled to herself.
Gabriel would be there soon. The realization filled her with renewed energy, and she returned to her textbook, refusing to look toward the entrance.
If she was caught watching the doors when he walked in, he may think she was waiting for him, and that would be far too embarrassing.
Because she wasn’t waiting for him.
Not really.
Not like that.
She just appreciated the consistency of his routine. She’d grown to anticipate the moment he walked through the door. The way he would stop at the same shelf to pull the same books that he returned the evening before and sit at the desk by the far window to continue working on… whatever it was he was working on. She’d never had the courage to ask. Or to speak to him at all, for that matter. He didn’t seem the type that wanted to be bothered.
The only reason Barbara knew Gabriel’s name, and the fact that he went to her school, was because she happened to mention him to Imogen, her friend and former roommate, who somehow found his student profile within minutes of Barbara describing him.
One minute Barbara was going on about his dark hair and eyes, and the way he tended to cover his mouth with his hand—gripping it tight with his brow furrowed, or scraping his thumbnail along his lower lip as he stared off with unfocused eyes—and the next minute, those eyes were staring back at her from Imogen’s screen.
“That him?” she had asked.
“Yes. How did you do that?”
“It’s a gift,” Imogen shrugged like it was nothing, “His name is Gabriel Russo. He’s a grad student, majoring in Microbiology.”
When Barbara caught herself daydreaming yet again, she stretched and chanced another glance at the clock.
4:21
Apparently, this day was never going to end. Giving up, she pushed her textbook aside and decided to start scanning the books from the return bin instead. Might as well work while, you know, at work.
The doors opened a minute later, briefly letting in a draft of cool air and the smell of wet concrete. It was raining again. Not a heavy rain, just a quiet drizzle. Barbara smiled to herself, waiting for Gabriel to walk by before she would allow herself to glance up and watch him navigate his now familiar path through the shelves. But he didn’t walk by. Instead, soft footsteps walked closer and stopped behind her.
She was about to turn around and ask if the person needed help when they knocked on the counter.
Three knocks, to be precise, in quick succession.
Followed by two slow knocks. Left then right.
Michael.
Mikey, to her.
Her twin brother.
And the last person she wanted to deal with right now.
She turned to him, her face going from customer-service-smile to you’re-dead-to-me-glower so fast that she wasn’t sure if she was successful. For good measure, she added a succinct, “Fuck off,” and turned her chair back around.
“B,” he said, sounding more exasperated than he had any right to.
“I’m sorry,” he tried again when she didn’t respond.
Barbara went back to scanning the books, one by one, “I’m working.”
“If you’d answer my calls, I wouldn’t have to bug you at work.”
Now that pissed her off.
She whirled around on him, no doubt she was giving him the full force of her glower this time, “We live together, asshole. You could come home some time.”
He took a deep breath as if he needed to gather strength before saying, “Can we just talk, please?”
“I’m working,” she said again through gritted teeth.
“Can we meet for lunch tomorrow?”
“Depends. Is Katie going to be there?” She infused all the bitterness she felt into the name. It was rare these days for her brother to be without his girlfriend. Barbara wouldn’t be surprised if she was waiting for him outside, and the thought made her tense.
He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, exasperated all over again, “No, Catherine will not be there. Just you and me.”
Barbara was going to dig in deeper, but was distracted when the doors opened and Gabriel walked in. She stared for a beat longer than she intended and he glanced at her.
Not just glanced.
He smiled.
Okay, more like the smallest quirk of one corner of his mouth, but it felt like the sun bursting through her cloud-covered day and made her heart trip over itself.
She looked back at Mikey, but he was looking curiously at Gabriel as he walked away, and she wanted nothing more in that moment than for Mikey to leave.
“Fine,” she said, pulling his attention back to her. “Lunch. Tomorrow.”
“Who’s that?” he asked.
“He’s no one.”
“Liar.”
“He’s none of your business.”
“That’s how it’s going to be now?”
“Yep.”
He sighed yet again in that way of his. As if talking to her had depleted all his energy stores and then some. “Noon. Our usual spot.”
“Can’t wait,” Barbara said without an ounce of sincerity.
Prev // Next
A/N: We've gone back in time about 40 years, give or take. And while I have an incredible amount of respect and admiration to those who make their stories decade-accurate in regards to aesthetic, fashion, music, technology, etc... I am not that person. And this year has been hard, so I'm not going to put added pressure on myself when it comes to something that is supposed to be fun, y'know.
(I know most of you probably wouldn't get hung up on that, but I got in my head about it lol)
It’s time for another exam, but this time Brody is more prepared. He’s been doing a lot more studying lately in order to keep his grades from slipping. It’s been working–he managed to get his average up to an A.
At lunch time, he realized Tom was back. Mr. Langerak came and sat at his table, so Tom didn’t bother him. Brody and his friends didn’t mind Mr. Langerak hanging out with them. He was one of the cooler teachers at the school.
Brody did his best to ignore Tom’s presence. Luckily, he was sitting by Nadia, which was a good distraction. He noticed she sat by him in class as well.
He was still a little confused about how he felt about her and vice versa. She was a good friend. Maybe he didn’t need it to be anything more than that. Or maybe he was just afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same way. He tried to push any thoughts of something more than friendship with Nadia out of his mind for the time being.
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It’s time for another exam, but this time Brody is more prepared. He’s been doing a lot more studying lately in order to keep his grades from slipping. It’s been working–he managed to get his average up to an A.
At lunch time, he realized Tom was back. Mr. Langerak came and sat at his table, so Tom didn’t bother him. Brody and his friends didn’t mind Mr. Langerak hanging out with them. He was one of the cooler teachers at the school.
Brody did his best to ignore Tom’s presence. Luckily, he was sitting by Nadia, which was a good distraction. He noticed she sat by him in class as well.
He was still a little confused about how he felt about her and vice versa. She was a good friend. Maybe he didn’t need it to be anything more than that. Or maybe he was just afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same way. He tried to push any thoughts of something more than friendship with Nadia out of his mind for the time being.
Previous | Beginning of Story | Beginning of Chapter | Next
Charlene: Now that it's been a little bit of time, have you settled on a hobby for yourself?
Gemma: Oh. Not really. I've not been good at anything I've tired.
Charlene: I'll remind you that you don't have to automatically good at a hobby. Nor is that even the long term goal. What have you tried so far?
Gemma: Right. [sighs] I considered taking up an instrument, but music isn't really my thing. I'm no good at singing. I tried knitting, but it makes me feel so constricted. Wasn't fun. Painting or drawing wasn't much better.
Charlene: Mhmm.
Gemma: One thing might work… I found my old diary. I've been cleaning out my room. Getting new furniture. Going to paint it. I spent so much time in here with Matty. The more I change the better it feels. Anyway, found my diary in a box and read through it. It was…. Embarrassing to read. The things I thought were important. The way I talked about people. Yikes. But I thought it might be nice to pick writing back up.
Charlene: I think that's an excellent idea. Whether it is journaling or you lean more towards creative writing.
Gemma: I think so too.
Charlene: I look forward to hearing about your writing next week. Same time?
Gemma: Yes, please. Thank you.
The doorbell rings.
Dario: The fuck do you want?
Anna: I'm here to see my grandchildren.
Dario: Nope.
Anna: Excuse me?
Dario: No entry. Not without calling first. Today isn't a good day for it.
Anna: [scoffs] Gemima I know you're listening, come speak to me like an adult.
Dario: Bit-
Gemma: I've got this, Dario. First of all, Anna. Please don't call me that. My name is Gemma. It's really nice that you want to visit the girls, but today doesn't work.
Anna: Why not!?
Gemma: We're expecting family to come over ourselves. I don't want to overwhelm them.
Anna: Oh. Well of course not. I didn't realize you had any extended family.
Gemma: I do. If you don't mind, we need to get some things done before they get here.
Anna: Certainly. I'll call you tomorrow? Plan a time?
Gemma: That would be good. Have a nice day.
the door locks
Dario: Extended family, huh?
Gemma: Sort of the truth. If I said “their real dad” she would have lost her mind. Even though I'd love to tell her to shove it, I'm rising above. I'll be polite, but not a doormat. It's less stressful.
Dario: I guess. What do you need to do before Otis gets here?
Gemma: Get things set out to bake cookies. That's what Juli wants to do.
The door appears out of nowhere. One moment the damp, overgrown path sprawls infinitely in front of her, lined with moss-covered trees on either side. The next, the door is looming three yards ahead, cracked and worn, more gray than she remembers, but it’s him. She knows it instantly, feels it in the deepest parts of herself, in every cell, and the spaces between them.
She stops.
Stops moving.
Stops breathing.
Stops the breeze rustling through leaves.
Stops the birds singing overhead.
Stops the small creatures racing around in the brush.
Silence.
She stares at the door, a lump forming in her throat, and waits.
Then. Three knocks in quick succession, followed by two slow knocks. One low. One high.
A sharp inhale.
A sob catches in her chest, expands quickly, and explodes out of her in a strangled wail as she hurls herself forward, racing for the door. She crashes into it with a force that rattles her teeth, but she doesn’t stop. She pushes the door open and falls to her knees on the other side, gasping as if she’d just run an entire marathon in those few steps.
The gravel is rough and wet under her hands. She focuses on it, on the tiny rocks pressing into her palms, letting it ground her and slow her breath. Tears fall onto the backs of her hands. No, not tears. Raindrops. It’s raining. Thunder rumbles overhead.
She stands up slowly, taking in her surroundings. She’s on a familiar path. To her left, she knows the gravel path connects to a road that leads to town. To her right, there is a lake hidden behind the trees. Her childhood home sits in front of her, somehow both larger and smaller than she remembers. Everything is gray. Like the color has been sucked out. But not completely. The front door still has the faintest hint of red.
She takes a step toward the house. The rain falls harder. The static sound of it reminds her of the noise machine her mother would turn on in her room at night before tucking her in, pressing lips to her forehead, and whispering promises of sweet dreams about fairies in a mushroom forest. She closes her eyes, a single tear falling down her cheek as she tries to hold on to her whispers, letting them envelop her before they disappear into the trees.
Another step forward and the sharp scent of ozone overwhelms her, sparking memories of sitting on the porch, watching for lightning and counting the seconds until the crack of thunder. Her father sitting next to her and telling her that each second equals a mile. His presence and this knowledge making her feel safe.
Up ahead, there is a man watching her from that same porch. She approaches slowly, resisting the urge to run to him. To throw her arms around him. To hug him and punch him and scream at him and hug him again and never let go.
“Mikey?” she asks as she cautiously walks up the steps.
“B,” he breathes, the relief in his voice is palpable and it makes her chest tighten, “you’re alive?”
Keeping her head down, she makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and sob. If only it were that easy. “I think that depends on your definition of ‘alive’.”
Trembling, she allows herself to look up at him.
He’s so much older than the last time she saw him. He’s older even than their father was the last time they visited. The thought fills her with a familiar grief, knowing the likelihood that their parents are gone. That they died without ever knowing what happened to their daughter. She wants to ask, but fear makes her hesitate too long. Fear of what the answer may be. But also, fear of what he’s thinking now as he looks at her. He tilts his head, his eyes searching for hers. She knows he won’t find them. “Your face… Why can’t I see you?”
She turns away and sits in the empty chair next to him. She stares at her hands as if they hold the answers to his and all of life’s questions, but they give her nothing. “It’s been a long time,” is all she can say, hoping he’ll understand. When he doesn’t say anything, she knows he doesn’t. That he’s waiting for her to continue.
Seeing him now, with his gray hair and lines creasing his face, confirms what she already suspected. She’s been gone for longer than she ever lived. Decades longer. Time moves differently here, but still, she knew. Over the years, memories began to fade. They grew dark and blurry. She felt herself fading along with them.
Her voice cracks as she tells the ground beneath her feet, “I don’t… I don’t remember…” She breaks before she can finish, folds in two and sobs into her hands.
He reaches for her, tries to speak, but she holds up a hand to stop him. She doesn’t want him to comfort her. His attempt only sparking anger. He doesn’t get to comfort her. He abandoned her. That anger forms a ball of fire inside her that dries her tears and sucks the emotion from her voice, “Don’t.”
He recoils, and she sucks in a breath to steady herself and says, “In the beginning, I thought you’d come for me. I knew you would. Didn’t doubt it for a second. You’d hear what happened and you’d find me. But you didn’t. You never came. And after a while I began to think you were right. That maybe this part of us is evil. That maybe I have died, and I’m in hell. Destined to be wandering lost and alone like this for eternity.”
“B, I-,” he starts, but she shakes her head, silencing him.
“I met others like us,” she continues, and he gapes at her. “They’re just kids, but powerful. More than they know. The boy doesn’t like me. He’s afraid of my…,” she gestures to her face, or lack thereof, “but the girl, she’s been kind to me. Sometimes she helps me remember things. Like the way we were at their age. Innocent and playful and imaginative. Inseparable and bickering constantly.” She smiles to herself, holding on to the feeling before it fades to mist. “I’m able to Travel to them. Easily. They’re family, right? Sadie and Simon. Do you know them?”
She can’t decipher the expression on his face as he shakes his head.
“I’m glad to have met them. I was lost and alone for so long. I was slipping away, losing my mind. Myself. It was really scary,” her voice cracks. She takes in a shaky breath, trying to steady herself as she continues, “But then there was this little girl, tiny and giggling and running through the trees. I don’t think she knew where she was or what she’d done, but there she was all the same. I think she’s given me a bit of my humanity back. And hope too. Like, maybe one day, she can help me find my way home.” She looks over at him, at her Mikey, her twin brother, her best friend, and pleads, “But now you’re here. You can help me, right? You have to help me. Please.”
He hesitates, the corners of his mouth pulling down, taking the rest of him with them. His whole body sags like whatever weight he’s been carrying just became too much. “I want to. More than anything. But I don’t think I can. I’m not strong enough, B. That’s why I called out for you. I can’t Travel.”
She stares at him. A million questions clamoring to get out, stumbling over top of each other until one finally breaks free, “Why? Why can’t you Travel? Why didn’t you come sooner?!”
“I would have come sooner if I could. I swear to you. But my father-in-law, whatever he did, it worked. I stopped dreaming. For decades. But then…”
“Then what?”
“It was… One minute I was sitting down for dinner, and the next I was at the lake with my toes in the sand. It’d been so long, I didn’t even know it was a dream until it was over. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I couldn’t speak. The doctor said I’d had a stroke. I got to you as soon as I could, but it’s not the same. I’m not the same. And I’m not sure how much time I have left.”
She shakes her head. Keeps shaking it. Willing what he’s saying not to be true. “No,” she cries, the anger building again, churning hot in her abdomen. How could he? She wishes he hadn’t shown up at all. All he did was bring false hope and force her to grieve the loss of him all over again. It’s cruel. Her rage grows hotter, boiling now like the surface of the sun, flaring through her veins and escaping through her fingertips in cracks and sparks.
She stands, begins pacing the length of the porch, but refuses to look at him, “No. No no no no no.” The air vibrates around her as she looks out at the road where she was on her hands and knees only moments before. A bolt of lightning strikes with a deafening roar that shakes the foundation of the house and rattles the windows.
“B! Stop!”
When she looks back at him, his eyes are pleading, “I may not be able to help you find your way home, but I think there is something else I can help you with.”
She stares at him. Part of her wants to aim the next lightning strike directly at him. Another part of her is curious. What could he possibly have to offer her if he can’t help her find her way back?
“Sit back down, please,” he gestures toward the vacated chair.
Reluctantly, she sits. She pulls in a breath. As she does, the smell of petrichor flows through her, dowsing the fire and nearly putting it out entirely. She knows he’s doing it on purpose, and she lets him. Lets the wave of calm wash over her.
She’s missed him so much.
“Better?” he asks.
She nods. Then, turns to him, “So, what is it you think you can help me with?”
He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a photograph, and hands it to her. “I can help you remember.”
Wren: How did a water lover like you manage to find two best friends who can’t even swim.
Robin: Opposites attract?
Alex: I can swim.
Wren: Really, why don’t you?
Alex: I just don’t like it.
Levi: Why?
Alex: Why don’t you?
Byrd: He almost drowned, so now he’s scared.
Levi: Twice!
Alex: Valid, I guess.
Byrd: You should work on that though.
Wren: Yeah, what if you fall in when no one’s around?
Levi: If I don’t go near the stuff I dunno how you’re expecting me to fall in.
Wren: Accidents happen-.. or else I’ll yeet you in, then you’ll have to learn.
Levi: Or the sweet relief of death will find me.
Robin: Alright, enough of the morbid drowning talk-.. we’re on vacation.
Alex: Agreed.
Levi: As long as you don’t actually chuck me in-.. okay, Wren?
Wren: We’ll see.
[Robin sighed, making a mental note to poke Alex about the subject again later. It’d be so much easier if he could just read her mind like everyone else, but all he could pick up on was a hint of uncomfortableness.. and guilt]
