The Sweetest Dessert is Revenge
Poison Ivy never met the first Robin. He had already quit by the time the Floronic Man betrayed her and she developed the ability to communicate with plants. She does not control them like Gotham News Network seems to claim, or manipulate them like the Gotham Gazette likes to say, Dr. Pamela Isley merely persuades them to join her cause. And it doesn’t take much persuading. Flora, like fauna, has a self-preservation instinct. And Dr. Isley knows how to keep them safe from the corrupt businessmen of Gotham.
So what if she’s killed a handful of these CEOs? Dropped them in their own chemical concoctions, strangled them with vines, or manipulated them into signing off their shares and properties to environmental groups? Those assholes had it coming.
But the Batman doesn’t see things that way. He calls Ivy an ecoterrorist. Really, he’s not wrong. Poison Ivy, as the press likes to call her, is an ecoterrorist for a good cause. Not good enough, at least not in the Batman’s mind. And so he thwarts her at nearly every turn, catches her, throws her back in Arkham, only for Ivy to break out a few days to a few weeks later. The world needs Ivy’s help--she doesn’t have time to rot in a padded cell. So their routine continues time after time.
Until Batman finds a new Robin. Two Face says this one’s younger, and the voice is completely different. Apparently he fights differently, too. Less acrobatics, more power behind his kicks.
At first, Ivy finds the change to be yet another annoyance, another obstacle in her way. But the kid grows on her.
The kid makes things interesting, long after the Batman has stopped learning new tricks--too reliant on his gadgets. Ivy has to fight harder--this new Robin doesn’t pull his punches. He throws dirt towards her eyes--once Ivy even caught him reaching for the knocked-out security guard’s side arm, until his mentor stopped him.
But that’s not even the best part about Robin 2.0.
While Batman grunts and chides, god, even lectures Ivy---Robin tells jokes.
And it’s not the puns she saw quoted in the newspapers about the first Robin. No, these are dry sarcastic one-liners that Ivy has to stop herself from laughing about. When was the last time she laughed? Ivy buries the laughter, but she can’t help her smile. She even starts to look forward to the Batfamily getting in her way. Ivy’s even a little sad when Batman leaves town, taking the kid with him.
When Robin comes back, Ivy leaves a one-of-a-kind rose, blue like a robin’s egg, waiting for him by Noonan’s.
“You tryin’ to ask me out, darlin’?” The kid tells her between swerves and kicks.
“That’s Dr. Isley to you, kid.” Ivy snorts. “And no, I don’t date younger men.”
A spark lights in the kid’s eyes. She’s never called him a man before. Ivy says nothing, vanishing in a cloud of pollen while the kid’s mouth opens and closes--too gobsmacked to snark back.
Batman’s goes overseas more and more frequently, sometimes taking Robin with him, sometimes not. Rumors about a so-called Justice League. Ivy doesn’t think much of it when the trips go longer and longer.
But then Batman shows up alone.
It’s hard to tell through the mask, but something is missing from Batman’s expression. His lips press into an even thinner line, and he says nothing as he tries to get Ivy in cuffs.
“Where’s the kid?” Ivy asks him.
Instead of answering, Batman breaks her arm.
Months pass, and the kid never comes back.
Ivy pokes around Noonan’s, the Iceberg Lounge, even GCPD, no one’s heard a peep from the second Robin. And then Batman returns Ivy to Arkham again.
“And then I said, please tell the Big Man I said “hello.” Joker looks around the the circle of chairs, his eyes wild and his arms pinned back in a straight jacket. “Hilarious, right?”
Scarecrow snickers. Riddler ponders the logic of the joke. And Ivy wants to vomit right in Joker’s face.
Every session. It’s all Joker talks about. Gloats about. So Ivy takes her time in Arkham. Plants seeds of a plan, waters it, watches it grow into something beautiful.
The night Ivy breaks free, Batman doesn’t see her coming. He’s too busy watching a new Robin (where does he find these kids, anyway?), making sure the kid doesn’t end up in harm’s way. As if protecting this one will make up for the one he failed.
When Batman has his back turned, Ivy plants a kiss on the back of his neck, stunning him. Another peck on his lips, and the organic tincture on her lips seeps into his nervous system, and she has the Batman under her spell.
Before, Ivy dreamed of using the vigilante to bring the city--the world to its knees. Having him destroy each gas-guzzling, chemically pollutant corporation until there were none left. But now Ivy only wants one thing.
Ivy’s always been thankful that the Batman doesn’t use guns. It always made it easier for Ivy to get away unharmed. And even now, a bullet would be too clean, too quick. Now she wants to make it hurt as long as possible.
In the end she has the Batman kill the Joker the same way that clown killed Robin--with a crowbar.
