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“I AM NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO THE MUSIC...”

These are the words of “Mad” Mike banks, one of the names behind the 80’s ‘Underground Resistance’ music collective founded in Detroit. The words kept resonating in our heads as we unraveled the multi-facets of Shadi Megallaa, a resident DJ at Analog Room, owner and A&R of Ark to Ashes and of an upcoming music record store - The Flip Side. His unfathomable attachment to music and the powerful hold it has on him was exposed in one casual sitting. What we will share here is the experience of one of the faces and his phases of the ‘music scene.’

Between the hours of 10pm and 12:20am behind the decks at Analog Room, Shadi’s hypersensitivity dwells in and out of his nerves and back and fourth through his arms. His fingertips make beautiful and unrecognisable mistakes, mistakes that aren’t realised by an audience detached from the sounds and engrossed in their zone. Between these hours, there is as few as seven people – as the party arrives, the essential elements of his set have disappeared limiting the smooth musical transitions. The warm up is left behind in the early hours of the night. There is a conflict between anxiety and excitement as he exposes himself amidst a crowd, experimenting with his broader range of music tapping into Hip-Hop, Electro, Funk and Jazz sounds. He however seems to be nonchalantly poised, one of the illusions he emanates.

What appeared to be at first a cool, calm and collected character relishing in his love for the game that one night every month at Analog Room, turned out to be in fact an unsettled soul. A soul debilitating in his passion for music as his frustrations with the scene ascend. Over a plate of freshly steamed vegetables, we see the inner workings of a mind and heart that Shadi fights to keep interconnected. His heart forever attached to that inexplicable moment of when the needle touches the record for the first time, is strewn apart as his mind tells him ‘you’ve been doing this for 16 years’ and no one knows, and very few care. This battle for him stems from his definition of ‘making it.’ For Shadi, to make it is to ‘remain consistent and true to yourself’ rather than ‘being successful.’ To ‘make it’ is to be obsessively passionate and connected to what you are doing.

“THE HIGH OF PLAYING A RECORD FOR THE FIRST TIME ON A SOUND SYSTEM THAT IS KILLER.”

He upgrades from his plate to numerous glasses of Jameson whiskey reminiscing about his past. His past tells innumerable stories of glory and hardships, both inspiring and deflating. He remembers his first gig at Analog Room, a gig that brings him to Dubai from NYC. A gig he couldn’t fully absorb and enjoy as his lover at the time, alongside her sister drunkenly calls an ending to the night. He misses the act he was opening for. He questions, is this the epitome of ‘mayhem and chaos versus calculated systems’ that draw us in to something and that keep us there? An eerie attraction to all that is disturbing yet compelling. He remembers visiting his best friend’s house as a child, and having to walk through the living room with the façade of being an angel in front of the parents, before being his true self when reaching the bedroom. He questions, is this a mirroring of walking through the bright hotel lobby before reaching the dark basement of Analog Room and playing devil? He remembers his first kiss as a teenager with a blonde girl named Louise at summer camp, and how every week there would be a turn around with girlfriends and boyfriends amongst his group of friends. He questions, is this a reflection of “not being able to have the rose without the thorns?” He remembers his time in Oxford, UK and discovering a record store – Massive Records. He remembers the owner Jay and how he would hold up a phone to the speaker whilst he was back in Abu Dhabi, allowing him to select his future records across international waters. He questions why do we as humans disconnect, exploit and lose touch?

“WE ARE DESIGNED TO ENJOY MANY THINGS.”

Random, absurd, un-relatable are some of the words he uses to describe Glenn O’Brien’s TV Party of the late 70’s. The show is another memory he holds dearly to his heart as he recognises the need for something similar today – a means of documenting ‘freedom’ and the way people of the same calibre come together and publicly relish in their liberty to express themselves and to simply just be. He also recalls the roots of his musical inspirations – the likes of Sasha & John Digweed, DJ Sprinkles and Quest Love, forming a hybrid of sounds that drive and stimulate his sets today. A couple of his loved tracks include ‘Lovelee Dae - 2020 Vision Remix’ by Blaze and ‘Silver Lining’ by Pearl Divers.

Such uncanny reflections on the past play an integral role in shaping the present. Where memory does not suffice, photos and memorabilia may “fill the gap.” His memories and 16-year long run have driven him to what he now calls ‘The Resurrection.’ With the opening of his record store in the works – The Flip Side, he hopes he can touch base again, be reborn and make sense of his experience in this scene. His wish, to be alongside someone he can co-exist with, someone he can feel liberated with - someone to spend hours with talking away into the night. Our constant touch with the past and our memory tells us it is essential to hold on to history and to build on it. We seldom realise that through our reflections on bygones, we are connecting to what is real now. As we swirl in and out of conversation with ‘energy parasites,’ our reminiscences are the catalysts in our present day ecstasy with those who actually make it count. Just like any one of us, Shadi’s cravings and desires expose themselves in a convoluted manner as he thinks and feels so sincerely in one sitting with strangers, strangers with listening ears. Whilst he may not have entirely found peace, he keeps on for that thrill of when the needle touches the record.