#shadow ryuji sakamoto

[bigtop-circusbear]

so like i listened to this too much-

-and now ive got ANOTHER Jail Owner!Ryuji idea by accident :)

very loose ideas rn i'll think about this more, but pls enjoy my first attempt at an 80s arcade Ryuji

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

(( @chariodyne ))

The deep darkness of Mementos is familiar, at this point, dark and unforgiving, like how the shadow remembers his room used to be when his father was still around. He thinks, once, that the familiarity shouldn’t be nearly as comfortable as it is. But the thick, damning clog of the air was something he could deal with, more than used to filtering the slog of alcohol in his lungs, the ash of cigarettes and the toxicity of hatred barked out at him. It’s familiar. He’s comfortable.

The comfortable feeling settles in his chest and eats him alive, repressed memories and thoughts filling the spaces freed up. A bitter thought ponders if he even needed that part of him before if its only purpose was to be gnawed at like a street mutt picking all the decaying meat from the bone. Soon, the little space in him will fill and fill until the ideas inside bubble over the cauldron and coagulate to form an amalgamation of distortion, walls, shadows and desires. How long until-

Ah.

Bright yellow eyes feel the shift in atmosphere, the presence of a newcomer, and he looks over his shoulder, cautious. It’s him.

“I never thought you’d come down here.” He speaks, eyes narrowed and sharp, turning on his heel to look at him, “Have you finally come to accept me, Ryuji?”

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

((look i know that this isn’t an ask but a few duderinos were asking for a shadow wuji ref and he’s basically his phantom thief outfit but softer. I’d imagine that it’s be the complete opposite of this before Ryuji accepted him. Less home-y and more post-apocalyptic fight for survival against god-knowswhat. he’s not a terrifying amalgamation of every factor of yourself that you push away, he’s more of the rush of relief when you rip the bandaid off.

i hope you’re not too sick of this dumbass character i’ve introduced to ask captainschariot

he won’t be here for too much longer, probably-))

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

Ryuji has always been able to talk to Kidd outside of the metaverse since he accepted me. It's only natural that it would work the same for me. Before I was accepted, it was like viewing someone you love getting tortured before your eyes, but unable to help. I was stuck, feeling every stab of pain he felt, every time he felt worthless, or alone, or unheard, or angry. I felt it. I became those emotions. And I hated it, this lack of control. I desperately wanted and needed to take the future that had been taken from us by a shitty father and a shitty coach. I am the drive to continue, against all odds, no matter what setbacks we experience. It was a desire pushed away, once. Ryuji just wanted to lay down and accept defeat. What point is there in living if you can't do anything right? If your only talent is snapped before your eyes. If you faults are abused to turn others against you? If you have a heart only your mother loves? Would anyone even miss you? But I refused to let us die. I desired our worth to be returned.

And eventually, it was, when the lost boy, Akira, came, hiding from rain.

My other self entered the Metaverse for the first time, and sacrificed himself for a boy he didn't even know. He crumpled under the man who had taken it all, and yet, with Akira, he overcame his fears, his worries, his lack of self worth. He overcame me. He accepted me, and tore away the mask he'd once worn to hell and back. When we made our pact, Captain Kidd and I gave him our potential. I am thou, thou art I. He became one with his shadow, which granted him the ability to use a persona. It also gave him that outfit he wears so well. We share a body. In the Metaverse, Ryuji's physical body is his Shadow. The reason I am able to 'control' Ryuji like this is /because/ he is his shadow, whereas Shadow Kamoshida was a separate entity in a different world from the real Kamoshida....Call it whatever you like. Possession, control, any similar word would fit.I've always aimed to make my other self happy. I always desire to help him in any way I can. I'm here now because I wanted to give proof that Ryuji didn't remember my little session with Ann, but you all seemed rather... stricken with the idea of me.Maybe I'll stay a while longer. Just to make you all happy.

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

I am a manifestation of Sakamoto Ryuji’s inner self.

I represent the after effects of his abuse. His raw desire to be useful or wanted by others. His fear of silence, the way he jerks when people touch him out of the blue. I represent the very things he keeps quiet, because he *can’t* let people see me.

Above all else? I represent his rebellion. In a sense, I guess I do represent his persona. I’ve never seen myself as a sword wielding skeleton pirate, however.

As for harming you..? Has Ryuji ever shown a desire to harm any of you? Hickeys only hurt for a moment, and after that..?

Well, I’m sure you know.

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

maybe we shouldn’t tell my other self about me.

my existence ain’t somethin too worrying.

it’s just a few kisses, isn’t it?

[askcaptainschariot-blog]

He knows I exist, just not... the way I exist. Does that make sense? He knows there is a side of him that is comprised of his secluded and raw thoughts, he just doesn't know that I... speak up sometimes.

It's only common sense that you'd harrass Ryuji into submission if I told you about repressed feelings that he may or may not have. Force him to admit that he likes Ann in a way that you all think he should persuit. You'd all convince him that his feelings are forced. You'll shatter what emotions he does have towards Ann. You don't want to fracture their relationship, do you?

Besides, who said it was only Ann that I've given hickeys to? I've given plenty. Plenty of hickeys to plenty of people. Would that mean I have repressed feelings for all the people I've happened to kiss? Maybe I also represent the blush that he tries to hide whenever a gorgeous girl compliments him. Maybe I am the tears that he pushes away whenever he sees a beautiful boy smile at him?

Or, maybe, just maybe, it's his desperation to be wanted and needed and loved that makes me want to give others attention? If they kiss back, or more, then they want us, right? They have to! We're nothing without the Thieves. The Thieves give us purpose. We can't let them realise how worthless we are. Even heartless love is better than being alone. So, we pretend like we're important. 

And... if you're all interested in him...

Then we must be doing something right for once.