Imagine dating Adrian for some time and then getting to meet his mom and learn all the crazy shit he says abt your relationship lol (fic??)
Anon, I love how your brain works!!! I kinda like to think that Adrian gets his quirks, like being unable to hold back his hilarious inappropriate thoughts, from his mom! Here's a taste of how I think meeting Mrs. Chase could go 🧜♂️
I hope you enjoy 🫶
Shit Mrs. Chase Says
Adrian warned you about his mother. He said she had a problem with talking too much, invading his space, and embarrassing the shit out of him. Apparently, she heard you sneaking into the house with him the other night and was now insisting on meeting you.
Mrs. Chase sits across from you at the dining table. The baby pink table cloth is dressed with the kind of china people tuck into glass display cases, lacey hand-knit doilies, and a low vase full of colorful supermarket flowers. Adrian is practically buzzing with anxiety next to you, his hand gripping your thigh tightly under the table. Leaning forward he pushes a tiny figurine of a porcelain kitten playing with a ball of yarn closer to its pepper counterpart.
Then his hand drifts to the plate of cookies.
“Are these oatmeal raisin?” His hand hovers over the plate of just-baked cookies.
“No honey bear, it's oatmeal chocolate chip.” She smiles, its bright and wide, just like Adrian's, which warms your heart even more than the milk and cookies Mrs. Chase put out.
“Mom, don't call me honey bear in front of my girlfriend. It's not cool.” Adrian takes a bite of cookie, and you don't miss the way his eyes roll back. They're still warm, just how he likes them. You sweep the crumbs that fall on his shirt away.
“But I like it, honey bear!” You share a conspiratorial smile with Mrs. Chase.
“Don't encourage her.” He glances down at you while his thumb caresses your thigh.
“Oh, I like her.” Mrs. Chase clasps her hands together gently under her chin. “I was so disappointed after Adrian broke up with his last girlfriend.”
“Really?” You glance at him, brow raised.
“Yes, Adrian broke up with her because she had more sexual experience than him.” She whispers. “He's a sweet, innocent boy, I'm sure she was just more woman than he knew how to handle.”
She glances at her son, who glares at her menacingly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear."
You bite back a laugh. “You're right, he's just the sweetest, most innocent …”
“Here, did you try a cookie?” Adrian shoves one in your face.
“Adrian, I'm talking with your mom.” You sputter and push his hand out of the way.
“Yeah, that's the problem. Maybe try a delicious cookie instead.”
“Well, I mean to say Adrian is inexperienced in the ways of love…” Mrs. Chase's brows lift. “He needs a woman who -”
“Mom, stop! We talked about this already -”
“-is willing to teach him how to please her…”
“-for the love of God! I said no more Dr. Ruth sex talks, mom!”
Mrs. Chase pauses, lips pressed together for a moment. “I'm sorry honey bear, I'm just trying to help.”
“Well, fucking stop.”
You shift under his hand, and he loosens his iron grip on your thigh.
“Sorry, I'm sorry.” He whispers, smoothing his big palm over your skin.
After a few quiet moments Adrian pours you a glass of milk, shaking his head as his mother stares dreamily at the two of you.
“Adrian said you go to kickboxing classes? That's so nice, modern women have so many interesting hobbies!” Mrs. Chase pauses to glance at Adrian before she leans across the table. “You should bring Adrian along with you sometime,” she whispers.
“What the fuck, Mom!” Adrian's mouth drops open.
She grimaces. “You know, he didn't win one fight in school...” She reaches across the table to pat his clenched fist.
“Mom, shut up!” Adrian shakes her hand off his.
Mrs. Chase smiles nostalgically and snaps her fingers. “Adrian, do remember the little boy from down the road, what was his name?” Her brows crease as her eyes screw up in thought. “He was two grades down from you?”
“I don't know what you're talking about.” Adrian looks at you, eyes wide with exasperation. “Don't… don't listen to a thing she says she's old and senile."
She laughs, blue eyes twinkling. “Oh, you know the one Adrian…” Her gaze darts between you and her mortified son.
“Oh, I remember! It was that boy Ryan.”
“Brian, mom. It was Brian.” Ears scarlet, Adrian sinks his face into his hands and tugs on his curls.
“Right, Brian! Well, this little boy had two broken arms from a skiing accident-”
“Do we really have to tell her this story?” Adrian's knee bounces violently under the table.
“- and little Bryceson…”
“BRIAN!” Adrian corrects before dissolving into a string of muttered curses.
“He still managed to give my sweet Adrian a wedgie and a black eye, didn't he?” She pats Adrian's hand again and he snatches it away.
“He was a little fucking asshole!” He shoots a dark look at his mother. “Just like someone else I know.”
“Don't curse in front of your girlfriend dear, it's not gentlemanly.” She smiles apologetically at you. “Anyway, I had to have a serious talk with little Byron's mother.”
Both Adrian and Mrs. Chase look at you when a strangled noise escapes your throat.
“Oh, are you okay, dear? You're nearly purple!”
You nod and dab at your eyes. Adrian looks at you, infuriated.
“Let me get you some water and turn the air conditioning down…I'll be back in a jiffy!” Then your sweet, merciless killer of a boyfriend's mother sweeps out of the room.
“God... she's such a bitch.” Adrian's nose scrunches as he watches her leave. His jaw drops when giggles bubble out of your mouth.
“Babe, don't laugh! You try getting hit in the face with a cast…”
“I'm sorry, I can't help it.” You sputter. “She thinks you can't fight?”
“Yeah, well, my secret identity is super important! She knows nothing about my work delivering justice to the criminals of Evergreen.” His eyes drift off into space for a moment before he snaps back to you.
“But, I do want to go to at least one of your kickboxing classes. So hot.” He grins lopsidedly before leaning in for a kiss.
You laugh against his lips. “Deal.”
I hope you enjoyed this little piece! It was so fun to write, thank you Anon for gracing my ask box with your idea!
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