#shafty

[gggafie]

More random roblox shit.

Floating money 💰

[two-gun-salute]

⚡ Nice little ride in the sunshine today ⚡ #twogunsalute #rideout #ridemotorcycleshavefun #motorcycle #kawasaki #gt550 #shafty #countryroads #backroads #instamoto #instabike #britishcountryside #iconjacket #icon #arai #tourx #motolife #bikelife #dayout #spring

[nakeddeparture]

Bridgetown, Barbados. Ex-national volleyballer, Gregory ‘Shafty’ Burke, has died.

https://youtu.be/sP0nGUiDo7g

The silent killer. Naked!!

Like. Share. Subscribe. Comment on YouTube.

[distancealliance]

[naughtypiggy]

Friday

It was a good day. Work was engaging, which is a new and wonderful thing. The day went quickly. I texted off and on with Daddy, Shafty, and Jay. Tom was mostly absent, as he has been since Wednesday afternoon. It had me a little twisted, but the rest of my dudes were absolute champions, They reminded me of my worth, and lifted me to the stars. My buddy George came through with an entire evening of his unique, unfiltered brand of earthy appreciation.

After work I went to HIIT, and despite a really off week, I went hard and got a new PR for low-end speed and distance. I love the feeling of accomplishment that gives me. It was especially inspirational, because a friend posted on Facebook about the 40+ pounds he has lost since January. He posted before, during, and after photos. Intellectually I know my body is changing, but I don’t really see it when I look on the mirror. I just see me. I feel it in my clothes and my increased strength and stamina, but I don’t get a sense of it visually. I’m not a vain person, so I don’t look at myself much. Maybe not having a strong baseline is why I’m not seeing the changes. Anyway, it helped to see what 40 pounds difference looked like on my friend. It helped me realize that the 30-odd I have dropped are showing, even if I’m not really seeing it.

I took a shower and played online until Daddy came home. We talked and cuddled for a while until it was time to meet some friends. Friday night is almost always our night to meet up with our core squad for Mexican and margaritas. Next week holds birthdays for both Becky and Daddy so they had tequila. I don’t drink much, but adore tequila. I got a taste of it, and it was marvelous. We are on a hug-greeting basis with our waiter, so he got them a top shelf variety with no sombrero/whipped cream in the face/birthday song nonsense.

We drove by a half dozen widely-spaced Pokémon stops on the way home. I went to bed very shortly after, because dinner had been hours long and I had been up since 4. I didn’t take any Benadryl, and Morpheus was kind. Sleep was swift, deep, and lasting.

[naughtypiggy]

Thursday

Less anxiety today, but it came in waves. I’ve not reached out too much. I can’t. I feel like I’ve been bleeding all over the people who love me for so long, I couldn’t anymore today. I didnt want to, and I drew a line. I talked to my friends, but tried to keep it away from my ridiculous feelings. I’m tired as fuck of talking about it, so they’ve got to be tired of hearing about it. It didn’t matter. They were there anyway. My dudes. How much I love each of you is incalculable.

I stayed busy at work. I caught a project, which I hope to finish the first stage of by tomorrow afternoon. It felt good to be doing something more purposeful. I’ve missed that sense of purpose, direction, and fulfillment at work since I took this job.

I’ve got some plans for tonight, but haven’t been feeling great today, so we shall see how things play out. I’ve just had an amazingly good shower. Everything is soft and smooth and ever so nice. And I’m about to fall asleep. Ah, romance.

[naughtypiggy]

Wednesday

I went to sleep anxious, fearing that I would be trapped in nightmares. I woke up in terror- blind panic, as if I had just been in an auto collision. The feeling stayed with me the whole day. I contacted my doctor, and stopped the antidepressant. I won’t start anything else, at least not for a while. Maybe not at all. I’m hoping by the time I see her, I will be more in control. I’m taking Benadryl every night to train my body to sleep more than 5 hours. I’m focusing on my nutrition. Hopefully with a nourished and rested body, the grief I’ve been battling won’t be quite so overwhelming.

It was a long day. I talked to Daddy and my usual cadre of amazing dudes throughout the day. I love each of you 3,000.

[naughtypiggy]

Saturday

I have a side-hustle reading palms, runes, and tarot cards. I usually just do this at my local Renaissance Festival, but am branching out. Today was a festival at a local distillery. It was in the mid 90s today, and humid. Daddy brought our quiet-run generator and a big stand fan. It helped quite a bit with the heat.

Between the two of us, we made enough money to cover expenses and almost enough to pay for the radiator hose and some minor repairs on my car. The money was good, but the time spent helping people was better. The very best thing was grounding myself. I kicked off my slip-on shoes and let my feet stay in contact with the earth for most of the day. I was able to channel a lot of emotions out. Tuesday is the new moon, and my first therapy appointment. Even more opportunities to let shit go. I haven’t done a full-blown new moon ritual for a few years. I’m mentally preparing.

I did mostly okay today. I missed Tom, but didn’t contact him except to return a single Snap. I’m trying to let all of that heal a bit. I chatted with Jay and Shafty, and a bit with Steve. Mostly it was just Daddy and I working the festival and possibly gaining some clients. On a positive note, I only made one person cry and several others look shocked. I’m really good at what I do with the cards, and I love doing it.

I didn’t hydrate enough today, and fell WAY short of my minimum calorie goal- as in only 2/3 of the bare minimum. It was too hot to eat, and I just forgot to drink anything regularly. That’s three days this week I’ve missed the minimum goal. I have to start eating more, especially protein. If I don’t, I’m going to lose all of the progress I’ve made at the gym and with HIIT. The human body is ruthless, and will consume its own muscle mass for protein when needed.

I’m home now, curled up in bed, trying to drink water and take care of myself. I felt really good today; more like myself than in a couple months. I felt strong, sexy, powerful, and capable. Nothing like the whiney, insecure moppet I’ve been lately. I was meeting peoples’ eyes and making bold, declarative statements. I was in my element, and felt gloriously alive.