#shattered minds

[lost-in-the-bright-lights]

[ New message from: Destruction ]

Hey Icarus, its me, Neth.. how are you?

@netherum-destruction

I’m fine. Doing well. How are you dest- i mean netherum?

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Shattered Minds Snippets!

Snippet One ^

Snippet Two ^

Writing unrequited love and requited love haha

Orion wishes he had Cyrene's magnetism and swagger hahaah

[ladyzirkonia]

Shattered minds - Part 2 - You came.

Doc, an idealistic GAR doctor, becomes obsessed with helping Jenot - known as Commander Ghoul - a severely traumatised clone trooper suffering from severe survivor's guilt after losing his entire battalion. As Doc tries to mend the broken pieces of Jenot's mind, she struggles with her growing feelings for him, believing he hates her for forcing him into this life.

Tags and warnings for the whole work:This story is written for an adult audience so MINORS DNI, violence, death, medical procedures, mental disorder, mention of prosthetics, drug abuse

Commander Ghoul belongs to @cloned-eyes (here and here), Doc belongs to me. (here and here)

note: I wrote this part in complete obsession and it's one of my favorites I wrote until today. Have fun with the first appearence of commander Ghoul. And I'm still not normal about this piece of art. tags: @staycalmandhugaclone @passionofthesith

PART 1

Part 2 - You came.

word count: 1.270

It was relatively quiet in the medbay that day. She didn't have much to do, so she sat with her back to the entrance, hunched over her datapad. The only sounds were the rush of a bacta tank and the faint beeping of a nearby monitor. These sounds were somehow soothing, at least to her. She was buried in a medical paper discussing cybernetic prosthetics when she was suddenly torn from her little bubble. Someone had entered the station quietly, and most people probably wouldn't have noticed. But she knew who was standing behind her back, she didn't even have to turn around. How did she know? She couldn't say for sure. But she didn't turn around; she seemed to freeze for a moment while there was silence, only the familiar sounds around her. She slowly looked up from her datapad but did not move and said in a calm, almost stoic tone,

"You came."

She couldn't help the fact that her voice almost cracked at the end, that she sounded somehow relieved when she spoke. If she was honest, she had not believed that he would come, but here he was, and she was both relieved and nervous at the same time. After waiting for another moment, she slowly turned around, adjusted her goggles, and looked into Jenot's face. He just stared at her for what seemed like an eternity and then just growled at her in a slightly provocative tone,

"You called."

When she heard his voice, she almost immediately realized how tight his grip was on her. Damn that idiot. She didn't want to admit it, but she had missed him, worrying every day about his emotional state and fearing that he might do something stupid and be decommissioned. Without waiting for an answer, Jenot had stripped off his clothes and was staring at her with a defiant expression in his eyes.

"Let's get this over with, Doc", he said in a rather impatient manner.

She cleared her throat and nodded, her eyes lingering a little too long on his tattoos. It wasn't that she didn't know his body like the back of her hand, she had worked on him and examined him so many times, so why did it feel different today? "Get a grip on yourself," she told herself as she stepped up to him and began the examination.

***

Some time later, she sat smoking in her favorite spot, knowing that no one would disturb her here. She'd always been an occasional smoker, but after her usually brief but intense encounters with Jenot, she'd always been unable to resist. His latently aggressive and dismissive nature had never really bothered her, at least that's what she'd told herself. She never stopped feeling guilty about his condition, for she had made him what he was, and what he despised so much, he had always made that more than clear to her. But something had changed in the last few weeks and months; she couldn't even be sure when it had started. Was it because of her that it had become harder and harder to keep a professional distance, or had it started because instead of being angry and hostile towards her, he was trying to avoid her and in the end didn't show up for his examinations?

The rarer he made himself and the more he avoided her, the more she became attached to him. She refused to allow him to jeopardize his health. She could be as stubborn as a falumpaset about it, and she was sure it drove him crazy. It had eventually led to him blocking the channel to her datapad. This action had left her with such anger and disappointment that it had taken her some time to come to terms with the emotions she was dealing with. She knew that her behavior was wrong, that she should not feel that she was losing control. It was not appropriate, it was not characteristic of her. It was this state of extreme crisis that had finally led her to leave him that note. And now she was sitting here. Did she feel better? A little, she was relieved that he was all right, considering the circumstances. But why was she still so upset? So upset that she had started smoking again, while a restlessness was spreading through her body and her mind seemed to be dazed, making it impossible to concentrate.

***

The examination had gone without incident, or so she told herself. Physically, at least, everything seemed to be in order, as far as one could tell from his condition. But she had found it harder to keep her composure today, only touching him when absolutely necessary and avoiding his penetrating gaze as much as she could.

"You look scared, Doc," he said in a mildly amused tone. "Not so pretty to look at, huh?" he continued to tease her.

At first, she didn't respond to his mocking words and tried to stare at her datapad with as much interest as possible.

"You can get dressed again," she had replied to avoid his words. Because he could not have been more wrong. His appearance did not bother her, not in the least, and she was not afraid of him, but of what he might unleash in her. She briefly reached for her goggles, something she had been doing quite a lot that day, an unconscious gesture to hide her insecurity. After a while, she had decided to look up from her datapad and give him a hard look instead.

"Why should I be afraid of you, Jenot?", she could almost feel his whole body tensing when she said that. But that didn't stop her from calling him with that name over and over again.

"I refuse to call you by that horrible name they gave you. You are not a monster." He had said nothing in response to her words, his gaze had become indefinable to her, and she had decided to drop the subject.

After the examination he had, of course, asked for his cigarettes. Of course she had lectured him on how bad it was for his health, and of course he had told her, mockingly, that she should stick to her own rules first. She had no idea how he knew about her bad habit. Maybe he had noticed that every now and then some of his cigarettes disappeared. And in the end she had given them to him - as she always did. Kriff those cigarettes! He had come and they had other problems to work on, Force knows.

After he had dressed, she asked him if he would come next time without an angry message from her, or if he would still insist on blocking her messages.

''That depends.'' , Jenot just replied smugly to her words.

''Depends on what?!'' It had slipped out a little more emotionally than she had intended.

''That depends on you stopping stealing my cigarettes and having one with me instead.''

She couldn't help the fact that her features were now slipping completely off her face, causing her to adjust her goggles even more aggressively this time.

''Until next time, Doc.'' , he saluted in a mocking manner that showed the anger he still felt towards the GAR, then turned on his heel and left the station. She had stared after him motionlessly for quite a while before finally going to her little secret place to smoke.

And now she was sitting outside, completely flustered. Smoking nervously and wondering how deep she would go down into that bogling whole.

Little did she know.

[tiktoksinspo]

Books where "Antiheroes" shift into "Heroes":

- Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

- The Diabolic by S.J Kincaid

- Vicious by V.E Schwab

- Renegades by Marissa Meyer

- Shattered Minds by Laura Lam

- Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder

[shatteredminds]

@taterswithranch

Word- Apple

Letter- B

Character-

Bast Levana Howell-Lokison

Others-

Vulcan Brandeis Rhaghverii Lokison/Infurlion Burnvaru Kisharnva

Koray Val Infurlionii Lokison

Iskra Allyriane Infurlonala Lokison

Category- I don't know what to categorize this as tbh

Words-

Söl- Sweet

Söly- Sweetie

Mánáy- Mommy

Ařaly- Little ones

Wáhłaaň- Wife

Fánřa- Father

Sítűe- Night

Apples

The vampires citrine orange eyes glanced out the window, checking on her fledglings as they played outside. The edge of her sharp knife slicing threw the crisp, ruby red skin of the apple on the counter in front of her.

Her daughter Iskra and son Koray were playing catch the fireball. Truth be told, she was thankful for then being fireproof like their sire.

Popping a slice into her mouth she continued what she was doing, cutting up apples for some pies she was making via her children's request, her mates love of her baking, and her cravings of the past year.

Apple pies used to be a rarity in this den due to the fact that she used to hate apples with a passion. The smell, the taste, and the texture of them would make her ill.

But these little twins she's been bearing for the past ten months gave her a craving for the fruit she hated so much prior to their conception.

She popped another hunk of apple into her mouth amd finished cutting up the rest in the sack. Doing what required to makenthe pies before putting them in the oven.

It wouldn't take long for them to bake due to where their den is. The Kingdom of Iňfěrína happend to be the closest of the Kingdoms to Därvánír, the active volcano in which the palace of the emperor was carved into.

Iňfěrína was settled near the base of Därvánír. The molten lava that flowed around it's villages was used as a means of defense as well as a means to cook and bake.

Looking at the time she noted that it was getting late and that her mate would be home in the next hour. She went to the open door she called to her children. Telling them to come inside since it was late.

"But Mánáy..." Iskra pouted.

"No but Ařaly. You know the rules, when Uncle Hyperion lowers the sun and Uncle Jericho and Auntie Artemis start raising the moon it's time to come inside." Bast says, a hint of warning that punishment via extra chores could be applied if either of them complain.

In a huff, the fledglings come inside. Closing the door behind her she went back into the kitchen and took the pies out, careful as to not burn herself. Once they were placed on the counter to cool she made supper.

"My wáhłaaň, I'm home." Said a male voice as the door to the den opend and closed. Soon large arms gently wrapped around her waist and a kiss was softly placed on her neck.

"Söly, you should know better then to do that when I have a knife in my hand." Bast scolded as she continued chopping up the veggies for supper, a blush spread on her face from the kiss.

"I know my Söl, but how could I resist." Vulcan purred before he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. "It feels like I haven't seen you in centuries."

"You were only gone for twelve hours my love." She states as she dumps the veggies into the pan with the meat to fry.

"Twelve hours of having to be away from my beautiful wáhłaaň." He murmers, letting her go so she can move and watching her dump the vegetables onto the pan. "Can't we just have meat tonight my love? Raw meat to be exact."

"You know Korays stomach is still to sensitive for raw meat Vulcan." She says, gathering up the dirty dishes and going to the sink to wash them.

"I know, but the ařaly's don't have to eat it." Vulcan points out, eye drifting across the counter he noticed two little heads peaking over the island. One had a hair of blond and the other black. They were trying to reach the pies on the counter.

"I know you've been craving raw meat my love, but if we were to just eat it right now what I'm cooking would go to waist." She explains, scrubbing the hell out of the cutting board.

"True. I'm going to go check on the ařaly's ok." He tells her.

"Ai, I'll call when suppers done." She says with a nod.

So Vulcan left, taking one of the five pies, picking up his children with his tail as he walked past and went to their room. After he put them in there he went to his study and ate it.

Later they ate. Bast noticed that while Iskra and Koray ate as much as they normally. Vulcan didn't even eat as much as he normally does amd he eats a lot.

Half an hour later, the fledglings were in bed. Bast just got out of the shower, wearing one of Vulcans shirts like she usually does for sleep while she's pregnant. The shirts acted like a nightgown of sorts with how big they are.

With still damp hair she exited the the bathroom. Noticing the mess of clothing inthe chair near the door she cleaned it up. On the bed Vulcan laid waiting, laying on his side with his head proped up on his hand. Gems and gold scattered on the bed around him.

When she surned around a goofy grin formed on his face and he wiggled his eyebrows. Seeing this and knowing exactly what he was trying to do, Bast threw a pillow that was on the floor at him. Hitting him in the face, he wheezed.

"I'm to far along to be doing that Vulcan and you know it." She scolds her mate.

"I know, I just wanted to see your face when I did that!" He managed to say as he laughed. Shaping his fingers the gold and gems vanished of the bed.

Shaking her head she climbed into bed, Vulcan snuggled up to her once she settled and one of his hands rested gently on her belly where their twins resided.

He felt a little kick from one of the twins, his eyes were bright with excitement and full of love as he looked at her belly.

"They know who their Fánřa is Söly." Bast purrs, her hand now resting on top of his. These twins were her third pregnancy, but the looks that Vulcan had during them were always adorable.

"They do don't they, my little břońjün." He says, a deep rumbly purr resonates from his chest.

Smiling she says, "Ai, now let's get some sleep. You're training some new warriors tommorow remember?"

He hummed in agreement, wrapping his wings around her and kissed her. "Sítűe my wáhłaaň." He purrs before laying his head on his pillow and closing his eyes.

She kissed back. "Sítűe my söl." She says, resting her head on his chest.

She licked her lips. 'His kiss tasted like apples..." She thinks. 'But why?'

Her eyes widened when the realization hit her. "It was you who ate the missing pie!" She exlaimed as she sat up and yanked the pillow out from under her mates head and smacked him with it before rolling over in a huff. Her back towards him as he proped himself up and sleeply looked at her before going back to sleep.

This had been a recurring event in the den for the past ten months, and it's always been over apples.

[lrlamauthor]

Upcoming Event: Read With Pride at Newcastle Waterstones w/ Alice Oseman and Mari Hannah!

Upcoming Event: Read With Pride at Newcastle Waterstones w/ Alice Oseman and Mari Hannah!

On July 17th at 7 pm, I’m doing an event discussing LGBT+ fiction and signing books with Alice Oseman and Mari Hannah!

Please come if you’re in the area and bring your friends. It’ll be a great event. 🙂

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[fullybookedreviews]

She can uncover the truth, if she defeats her demons

Ex-neuroscientist Carina struggles with a drug problem, her conscience, and urges to kill. She satisfies her cravings in dreams, fuelled by the addictive drug ‘Zeal’. Now she’s heading for self-destruction – until she has a vision of a dead girl.

Sudice Inc. damaged Carina when she worked on their sinister brain-mapping project, causing her violent compulsions. And this girl was a similar experiment. When Carina realizes the vision was planted by her old colleague Mark, desperate for help to expose the company, she knows he’s probably dead. Her only hope is to unmask her nemesis – or she’s next.

To unlock the secrets Mark hid in her mind, she’ll need a group of specialist hackers. Dax is one of them, a doctor who can help Carina fight her addictions. If she holds on to her humanity, they might even have a future together. But first she must destroy her adversary – before it changes us and our society, forever.

Rating: 4.5/5

Fantastically entertaining, fast-paced science fiction that I didn’t want to put down. Lam has created a novel with the perfect balance of worldbuilding, action and character insights. And for most of us, reading about renegade hacker groups fighting against the system is like catnip.

Pacifica pretends it’s a haven – no crime, no murders. Peel back a thin layer, and look at what’s exposed.

We’re introduced to Carina Kearney, ex-neurosurgeon and current addict, who acts out her murderous fantasies in drug-induced dreams to avoid actually perpetrating them in real life. As a young girl, she underwent brain modification by a company working on all kinds of neuro-based experiments – which left her permanently altered, unable to feel appropriate human emotions. Later, she went on to work for the same company, Sudice Inc, but left her job in murky circumstances.

As her life falls apart, Carina is sent batches of information from her ex-colleague, which will enable her to expose the company that has ruined her, and the lives of so many others. Only problem is, she can’t access it without the help of a group called the Trust, working to try bring Sudice Inc down. Initially distrustful of each other – as they well should be – Carina and the other members, Charlie, Raf and Dax, soon establish something of a camaraderie.

“Either this will work or we will all die spectacularly,” Raf says, remarkably cheerful.

While the novel does move back and forth in time, between the current mission and events leading up to it, as well as switching perspectives, it doesn’t slow the pace down – which is often something which can happen with this technique.

I also have to just point out this little character description, which had me tickled pink:

Clavell was scouted on a visit with his family to Los Angeles. He starred in his first film, Actually, Love, where he played a misogynist internet troll who falls in love with a feminist online.

During the course of their mission, as it were – setting up the downfall of Sudice Inc while Carina tries to retrieve the packages of information attached to five of her significant memories – things don’t always run smoothly. The team are constantly watching their backs and covering their footsteps, making agonising decisions about leaving the injured behind and killing their opponents in the name of the bigger picture – the moral grey is everywhere.

“We can’t do it all,” Charlie says. “It’s not up to us to fix everything that’s wrong with Pacifica and the rest of the world. We do what we can, and hope everyone else steps up.”

Shattered Minds gifts us with a strong cast of diverse characters, a pleasing plot about bringing down a corporate behemoth, and some important underlying messages about how far you’re prepared to turn a blind eye.

Carina feels alive. Her fingers tingle. It’s not the same as hunting  a person, but it’s still thrilling. She’s killing a company. An idea. She’s going to watch it all bleed out.

***

ARC received from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Quotes taken from uncorrected proof and may differ from final publication.

[booklover277]

Shattered Minds by: Laura Lam

4.5 stars out of 5

She can uncover the truth, if she defeats her demons Ex-neuroscientist Carina struggles with a drug problem, her conscience, and urges to kill. She satisfies her cravings in dreams, fuelled by the addictive drug ‘Zeal’. Now she’s heading for self-destruction – until she has a vision of a dead girl. Sudice Inc. damaged Carina when she worked on their sinister brain-mapping project, causing her violent compulsions. And this girl was a similar experiment. When Carina realizes the vision was planted by her old colleague Mark, desperate for help to expose the company, she knows he’s probably dead. Her only hope is to unmask her nemesis – or she’s next. To unlock the secrets Mark hid in her mind, she’ll need a group of specialist hackers. Dax is one of them, a doctor who can help Carina fight her addictions. If she holds on to her humanity, they might even have a future together. But first she must destroy her adversary – before it changes us and our society, forever. 

The world created in these Pacifica novels is the perfect setting for a dark futuristic thriller. Although I loved the characters in the first book, it's awesome how this one reads as a standalone. It just goes to show how many awesome stories could be created within this world. I still feel like there is so much more to explore. My intrigue hasn't died down. So here's to hoping Laura Lam writes more!

The story follows Carina who is currently an addict to a drug that takes her into dreamscapes (similar to virtual reality). This is following her being a neuro-scientist working for the giant, corrupt Sudice corporation. The problem is: working there changed Carina and she now has an extreme urge to kill. Thus her escaping into dreamscapes to fulfill that urge, but ultimately not hurt anyone. It sounds complicated, but I promise it's really not. Something happened to make Carina change.

When Carina receives a message from a former co-worker while in a dreamscape, she's set on a mission to take down Sudice no matter what the cost. That co-worker is now dead making Carina the world's only hope to stand a chance.

The plot seems complex, but within this world it all works well. There are loads of futuristic technology and the cast of characters is once again diverse. There are many aspects to the novel from trying to figure out Carina's past to her being on the run to the attempt to take down Sudice and figuring out why it is Sudice finally needs to be taken down. Plus, there are several characters I found it hard not to care about. The group of hackers Carina finds herself with are all very fascinating.

The book being told from the several different perspectives given helps to give a full picture of the story even allowing insight into the antagonist.

If you like dark, gritty, fast-paced sci-fi thrillers, be sure to try out these Pacifica novels. The setting is so phenomenal.

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