#shawnbowers

[garfemon]

258 - GARFKIP - The MITTS on the side of its BIG FACE grab the lasagnas to shove into its LIL MOUTH. It has TWO working TOASTER OVENS in its HOME, which it thinks is IMPRESSIVE.

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Garfemon is a terrible thing by me, Shawn Bowers

[garfemon]

264 - LINOFIELD - It has had a DEBIT CARD for MANY YEARS, but it has never once USED IT. The debit card sits in a DRAWER with old birthday candles, paper clips and BATTERIES. You can’t even see the debit card because it’s hidden under an instruction manual for a MICROWAVE that it got rid of A YEAR AGO. Why does it have a debit card if its not going to USE IT? What’s the point OF THAT?

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Garfemon is a misguided project by me, Shawn Bowers.

[garfemon]

261 - GARFYENA - This Garfemon’s BUTT is always TUSSLIN’. That’s the whole DESCRIPTION.

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Garfemon is a terrible project by me, Shawn Bowers.

[garfemon]

257 - GARFIKEN - It blows out STEAM from its DOWNTOWN FACE to destroy enemies. The enemies aren’t DAMAGED by the steam, they’re just too uncomfortable TO ASK about it and play dead until they can LEAVE.

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Garfemon is a terrible thing by me, Shawn Bowers

[garfemon]

260 - SWAMPFIELD - It is very BORING. It can drag down any conversation it MEANDERS INTO, usually by asking everyone to name THE PRESIDENTS in chronological order. Lists are not CONVERSATIONS, SWAMPFIELD.

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Garfemon is a terrible project by me, Shawn Bowers.

[garfemon]

266 - GARFCOON - It wraps itself in an outer layer of CAT FLESH while its INSIDES ARE COOKIN’. To conserve energy, it NAPS. But to expend energy, it likes to go to DISCOTECAS, the kind where they play INTERNATIONAL DANCE MUSIC. It almost prefers not knowing THE LYRICS so that it can focus on the universal language of MOVEMENT.

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Garfemon is a questionable project of epic proportions by me, Shawn Bowers

[garfemon]

271 - GARFBRE - This Garfemon is, you guessed it, a COMPUTER HACKER. It sits in front of MECHANICAL KEYBOARDS, just click clacking away at ILLEGAL CODE all day long. It can download bitcoin at speeds of, and I’m not making this up, 48 MEGABYTES PER GIGABYTE. Just by looking at it, your BITCOIN is getting DOWNLOADED. Also, it keeps pipin’ hot lasagna body on its HEAD, but that’s a SEPARATE FACT.

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Garfemon is a bad thing by a bad man, who is me, Shawn Bowers

[garfemon]

253 - GROVFYLD - The TAILS growing out of Grovfyld’s body are convenient ICE BREAKERS when it goes to PARTIES. It can talk about its WEIRD BODY STUFF instead of needing to know about NEWS OR SPORTS. Grovfyld is UNEMPLOYED by CHOICE, it says.

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Garfemon is a terrible thing by me, Shawn Bowers