#sheeluv

[sheeluv-blog]

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[sheeluv-blog]

Woke up at 4am with

a crazy stirring mind. So, I've decided today is devoted to using this energy to create something "just because". A lot of times we lose ourselves within day-to-day stresses when in reality, life is meant to be viewed creatively and lived freely. We decipher our experiences based upon what we are taught when truly, each moment and each stress is a mere opportunity to reteach ourselves of what we need at core. I just want to do everything.. so today, I'm choosing to do everything I can.

[sheeluv-blog]

new things to begin:

1. Sketchbook series- I've had this plan to organize my sketchbooks [all of them] into a neatly timeline driven sequence.  2. New Sketchbook- I need to keep at the one Tk and I just purchased. 3. Realistic Drawing- Once upon a time it was my calling.. now? Busy lifestyles and illustration driven hands have made my realistic tendencies a bit cloudy. Time to start back at it. 4. Learn Illustrator- How many years have I been telling myself to re-learn this program? If you're new to my blog, its been YEARS. There are just so many programs to learn and I've been learning every other one BUT. 5. Buy Vintage Frames- I really need to decorate the walls of my studio and get a bit more inspiration flowing. As it is, the entire place is art/book/technology encompassed.. I need a little visual stimulation. 6. A New Website- Personal, that is. I do need to update Funeral Parade's website too, however. Anyone know any great art geared web design hosting services that won't eat my wallet up? I'm currently on Cargo Collective and happy but could be happier. 7. Buy Oils- My sweet mother said she'd donate to the "get sheena to paint in oils" fund and will be buying the first batch to get me started painting with oils.. I am beyond excited. 8. Yoga- I need to balance my aura and thin out my thighs. 9. Tarot Card Series- Beginning a Tarot Card Art Series, I'll talk more about this later.. 10. Collect Past Writings and Curate into New Format- I plan to print a few things in the coming months. Am I interesting enough for you to be interested? 11. Funeral Parade Summer | Autumn Issue- This is self explanatory. 12. Exhibit- I would like to do a solo-exhibit soon but need more work/ on large canvas/ first.. I need at least 8 more paintings before I can take prints and submit to galleries. Need. More. Canvas.

[sheeluv-blog]

a few things i've learned this year,

- it will be ok. - the true and necessary friendship will forever remain. - pay attention to my anemia a bit more so than i have in the past. - you will fall in love again. - true inspiration is found from within. - those afraid to dance are afraid to live. - be afraid of those afraid to live. - money will find a way into your wallet if you remain focused. - the fashion industry still owns my heart. - maybe i was simply due for a different route throughout the industry. - when they come back, remember why they left in the first place. - do not allow others to mold you bitter or closed. - everyone has a past they're attempting to let go of. - be patient. - it will be more than ok. it will be and is, amazing. 

[its-about-forgetting-blog]

Words. Words. Words. Words. Just, words. Words.  Words. Words. Words. Beeping and scratching and, repetitive music fans circulating dead air, the heat forms movement. Following words.  Accepting words.  Craving words. Focus on,words. Words. Words. Words. Hedonistic words as that dirty whore from last weekend falling victim to nights temptation. Fucking words as that conniving moment one searches love while the other, sensation. Blinding words as that, read between the lines secret, pay attention for hidden indiscretion. Too afraid to say what another might give anything to words, judgmental, criticized, forgotten. Forgotten words raping the air surrounding us meaning nothing but another memory losing focus. Written words. Words. Words. Words. Written words of, slit wrists spewing alphabets. Hedonistic vocabulary, cries for sanity, searching a meaning a meaning to the words we go round and around with day in, day out, sun beam meets moonchild words. Words. Words. Words. The one place I give my everything to. Weak words, strong words, angry words, loving words kinky words, depress encompassed words, insecure words, endless words. Words. Words. Words. Words. And, more words.

[sheeluv-blog]

& finally i've found it within myself to create again. i think the blocks birth from momentary experience. we pause to breathe in, pause a bit longer to attempt an understanding, pause even more so to feel the experience[s] entirely.. and then, one day, magically or anonymously or whimsically or whichever term you'd like to use, we use it and begin to explain. who knows what this life is truly about. who knows where it is trying to lead us. who knows what is next or what is after next or what is after further and farther down the road of question met innuendos but, in this moment, in this one pure moment, i feel like creating again.. and that, if anything or if nothing at all, feels nice.

[sheeluv-blog]

i've locked myself in an empty house; creating, envisioning, painting, drinking, dancing, writing, more drinking, being, meditating, bla bla bla'ing.. inspiration is welcomed, send me some pretty things?

[sheeluv-blog]

The night swallows me whole. Another sun bidding another goodbye to another day spent wandering. Searching answers to questions I've begun reciting within corners of mirror met staring contests reaching a level ten filled self doubt. Who truly loves themselves anymore? Everywhere I turn I'm met with yet another lover rushing, comatose state, numb fed silhouettes, pleading. Liquor cabinet laced nostalgia promises. Another regret filled morning.. hoping. The night swallows me whole to merely spit me back out, wandering again.