#sheep thoughts

[biaswrecked-kkaebsong]

why is everybody hating on SHEEP though? Sure it’s different but when was EXO ever known for being normal?

[idksheepthoughts]

So this Happen live on stream it wasn't insanely awkward at all. (Pink: Ex Friend/Grey: Me)

Well its been some time since I've used this account This happen 3/25/25. So I've been very suicidal ideation since 2025, and at the end of January I was heavily considering it. But when I get like that and drunk my subconscious tends to reach out to people... in a venting matter. I guess my venting and then forgetting to reach back out for over a month pissed this now ex-friend of I'm not even sure how long. probably 9 or 10 years? A long time so I guess I reached out as I had helped him in some similar dark times. However in my drunken stupor I must have forgotten to reach back out and say "hey I'm alive sorry" because he had disappeared for no reason on me before too... and honestly... I wouldn't even consider what I vented to him in DM's a "suicide note" just... venting suicidal ideation and hopelessness. But everyone has their own interpretation I suppose. So basically I've been on a nightly blackout drunk bender from 12/21/24 until 3/22/25. I had drunkenly messaged this person on 1/31/25 in a very dark place. And honestly just forgot to reach back out, not the best move that's 100% on me. But I've also had this person disappear and not talk to me for literal months when he was in a dark place... you would think he would understand that... but nah fuck me. Drag all this shit out into my public live stream rather than either message me on discord or Re-Add me to discord and message me there. Nah air your grievances in twitch chat. I mean I get it, I'm a mess of a person, I'm not the easiest person to deal with, I've been in this cycle of poor mental health with no treatment and self medication through substance abuse for majority of my life. So it's fair to abandon me for my behavior... but kind of not great to do this during my actual public online area. Its like having an argument in the walmart parking lot... except online. Whatever people come and go I'm used to that at this point, just wish people understood how fucking difficult it is to be alive like this with all these brain debuffs constantly. I'll try not to vent to online friends anymore. I ruin everything yet again and apparently forgetting to reach back out to someone after something I don't even remember having the conversation via blackout despite the same person disappearing on me for months or just straight up not talking to me for very long period of time makes me the asshole. Because in the last message I think he wanted to insult me but he probably realized "hey this is a fucking live stream... maybe this isn't the place for this" ... could have sent me a twitch whisper, could have readded me to discord, could have done anything other than that... oh well.

[wonsheep]

YOI, i just realised that i'm making a project for chemistry in connection with ice skating and ohhhh myyyy, i'm also currently writing a hoon skating fic. this is amazing im crying