when you go away...
"people ask me everyday what's going to happen with us when I leave"
"Well....what do you tell them?"
"That we are just going to break up"
"oh...."
I sat under the fog of the heavily breathing shower as you shook the wet particles from your head and showered me with your eyes.
I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or not because these days it all seems like a fucked up blur.
You wouldn't kiss me because it was obvious my lips were poison to your past and the last thing you needed was for another kid to come along and fuck with your pride.
I told you I was happy you were leaving because then maybe you could find someone you actually wanted to kiss,
but what I was actually thinking is...
"when you go... I'll want to die"
You stared past the steam and seemed to recall the most precious times together being heated past boiling point and exploding into a fiery mess around us.
That bathroom exploded and the mirrors left reflections under your skin so even in the darkest room you still had to look within and hate yourself.
I know you wanted me... I know you wanted to love me like I needed.
And everyday I asked god, why some messed up teenager thought he had the right to ruin the rest of your fucking life.
Well he didn't.
And now I am left loveless hoping that hell is worse then they say because I know that's where he is.