#shimmeringtext

[dreaming-starclimber]

I wanna continue my Balan Wonderworld comic, but colouring takes foreeevverrrr so I think I’ll just either go greyscale or just flat black and white sketches

[dreaming-starclimber]

So I just figured something out,  Friendship is about trust. You trust your friend not to leave you just because you said something odd or you feel a little too strange and you trust them to not pretend that they like you or at least tell you how they feel.  If you don’t trust your friend you’ll constantly ask them if they like you, or you’ll find yourself always apologizing for wasting their time with your presence. But if you trust them you’ll just say “they’d tell me” and sweep all that away somewhat.  Trust makes the friendship closer and you’ll actually feel a bond and are less likely to hold yourself at arms length. And if your trust is betrayed that’s okay, that was one person, maybe it was five. BUT Please don’t stop trusting your friends, it’ll only make you feel incredibly lonely. IT hurts to be betrayed I know. It’s awful. But it’s worse to feel so alone and keeping all your interests and hobbies to yourself and never letting anyone in. It’s so much worse.  So anyway, trust your friends and let them into your heart. 

[dreaming-starclimber]

This is the story of two internet friends. They met on a message board one night and soon became fast friends. They spoke with each other for years and years and years and one day they decided to meet up in real life. They quickly figured out a time and place to meet up in a city that was an equal distance between them. It was a public place and they were both on time but they couldn't see the other.

So they each sent a message to the other asking where they were. Both of them were convinced the other was lying so they each took a picture of a nearby landmark and sent it. Confusion came on both their parts since they were literally standing on top of each other but they still couldn't see the other.

They eventually figured out that they lived in parallel universes and that the internet was what connected them and allowed them to speak.

[dreaming-starclimber]

Okay I’m doing it! I’m writing that LOZ story!  First draft will be badly written then second draft everything will be better!  And hopefully it’ll pull together because I won’t be willing to do a third draft.  If I can just get the sequence of events down I think I’ll be able to do this!! I promise nothing and hope for everythinG!!! 

[dreaming-starclimber]

I’m just gonna keep talking,  When I was around seven I used to look up at the moon and feel so sad.  I felt I was being called by it and wanted to reach out and connect with it in some way. But i didn't know how so I didn't, I just stared up at it sadly and longed for it. After we moved to my current city we stopped moon watching at night.  The same thing happened to me when I took sailing lessons on the lake but instead of the moon I felt called by the water. I felt like I was home on that little sail boat and was completely in my element. Of course I nearly capsized several times but the thing is I didn't. I was living on the edge and was great at it. I miss that, being on the water. I used to splash around in a river by my house but it's no fun to splash around on my own. I felt like the water was where I belonged. I haven’t sailed in years though, I didn’t actually want to learn about boats I just wanted to be on the water.  Now when the moon peaks through my window during the summer at four am, I only feel unease. A slight fear runs through me and I feel as if its watching me. I close my curtains those nights. 

[dreaming-starclimber]

I’m in a spooky story mood:  At night I make it a point not to look in any mirrors. Even if the lights are on in the bathroom I keep my head down and refuse to make eye contact with myself. Sometimes I forget my own rule and look in the mirror and when I see myself and make eye contact that's when I get this weird feeling. The world seems to turn sideways and I don't feel real and the reflection of me feels more real than anything else. I feel like I was never real or at least my reflection in that moment was never me.  I feel as if she could begin moving and my terrible fear wells up within me and I fear that she might reach out for me. I know none of that would actually happen but it still really scares and weirds me out. To make eye contact with my own reflection at night. 

[dreaming-starclimber]

Have you ever wondered if dreams are more than people think they are? I mean, I’m always interested in hearing about people’s dreams because I think that somewhere I’ll encounter someone who has dreams like mine.  And I think maybe if I meet this person, I’ll figure something out, something big that’s just out of my reach of understanding. Just out of reach of our reality.  I think I might just want the world to be more than it is, but that’s not exactly a bad thing is it? I imagine there are other worlds out there that are stacked on our own and somehow, through dreams, we can sometimes touch on them if just a little bit.  I tried to astral project for awhile, everyday for a good month I did my best to separate my body from my spirit. And I was getting somewhere, but I found out that even in sleep paralysis I could move my body and it broke whatever progress I was making. 

I attribute this to the fact that one afternoon many years ago I woke up from a nap while my body was still asleep and I was facing the wall. But I felt a terrible presence behind me and I could not turn to see it. Of course I felt terrified and I didn’t even want to move to face it but then out of nowhere, I got angry. Very angry, and through sheer force of will I turned around scowling ready to fight whatever was there.  Only, there was nothing, and the buzzing in the room stopped. Since then I’ve been able to move through sleep paralysis when aware of it. And I’m kind of glad this prevented me from astral projecting because after that I heard sometimes if you’re not fully prepared and galavant around without protection. You might attract bad things, and these things will hold tight and refuse to let go.  That scared me pretty bad and I stopped trying. Since the main reason I wanted to astral project was so I could fly freely. I think I’ll keep working on attempting to lucid dream for that instead.  I guess I ended up rambling a bit but I think about this a lot. I’ve been thinking about this for at least the past eight years. I might talk more about this at a later date I guess. I do most of my dream blogging on my other blog. They’re really cool I assure you, but they’re mostly so I don’t forget them when I forget to write them in a journal.  Someday, I think I might really take up my dreams on their offer and walk through a gate or a portal and maybe, I might just not return to this existence. It scares me at the moment when I get these offers but maybe someday when I’m old I’ll take them up on their offer if they’re still offering at that point. Maybe I’ll end up in a new reality where things are strange and different. Who knows, not I. Maybe I just want to believe they’re actually gateways into different and new realities but really they’re just a dream and it’s all wishful thinking. haha, how strange would that be?  But still I’m going to believe because it’s more interesting than just writing them off as nothing. yeah, I guess that’s all I had to say tonight. I had a quiet night where I didn’t speak with anyone but I might just be entering that period of time where I don’t speak with people. I hope not.  I feel bad when that happens. I like talking with people, time just gets away from me and suddenly it’s been three months since I’ve contacted anyone and sometimes that turns into a year. That’s rather awkward when I realise it.  I don’t have a good grasp on time haha. I’m trying to change that though. Anyway, good night everyone! I hope you all sleep well! 

[dreaming-starclimber]

I should be doing homework but I’m flipping through my sketchbook and found an old doodle with the words “waterwheel trapped a water spirit” and I have no idea what I was thinking but that’s funny to me.  What if the person who owns the waterwheel just has  to release the water spirits every so often because they keep getting trapped? Hilarious! I bet they get annoyed after the first few times though.