#shiny vampire

[opinionatedtwihard]

Being "vEgEtAriAns" gives the Cullens such a god complex. Stfu, Crossfit lookin ass

[opinionatedtwihard]

Some thoughts on Edward: pandemic edition

Edward reading people's thoughts and tailgating a mask-refuser for miles and miles on end to make him suffer

Edward wearing his mask from 1917

Edward breaking into everywhere because he's done his time in quarantine. And like, Disney is empty. Shiny boy goes to florida and rides roller coasters.

Edward constantly bitching to Bella about high school kids thinking they're immune. Bella doesn't care

Carlisle never leaves the hospital during the outbreak and just... crosses his fingers that no one notices. Edward spends a lot of time there, doing whatever he's authorized to do.

Edward uses hand sanitizer to Set A Good Example.

Edward and Bella doing classes from home and not being able to disappear for days on end because Professor Is Always Watching. They actually have to... do high school. All of it.

Bringing Charlie to their secluded residence as long as he Doesn't Ask (TM). its 2020 literally wtf could surprise him.

Edward and Bella start a YouTube channel where they share all of their weird never-sleep-lookin-ass hobbies. (and edit them because... conspiracy theorists.

The Robert Pattinson portable pasta company fiasco is literally just Edward Cullen. Not Accostomed To People Food At All. Just, 100%, vampire shit. That's what the cullens have to deal with.

[opinionatedtwihard]

Laurent deserved what Jasper got.

[opinionatedtwihard]

Edward being a simp for Newborn Bella:

[opinionatedtwihard]

Vampire Lawyers?? They'd really woo the jury and they'd have some supernatural insight.

[reilistaken]

He go shine in the light, he go black in the night